Fact of Life

In our generation, parents were parents first. The friendship angle came only after enough and more respect and obedience were given to them. Defying them and their teachings were a tad difficult and often, impossible. But we grew up just fine, in fact, with an enquiring but aware mind which assessed the value systems we were taught and found them to aid the human touch that makes us human beings of some calibre.

With the onset of insular families, parents gradually started feeling the need to compensate for the lack of senior members of the family that were distanced. So, they felt the need to become friends.

Naturally, all formality had to be dispensed and conversation had to be tweaked to suggest a reduction of the age gap. Simultaneously then, the respect between child and parent also reduced. And soon, parents found their wisdom falling on deaf ears.

There is nothing black or white in life. But, this informality and right to be friends removes a very essential barrier between the teachers and the taught. All filters are removed and children unknowingly start to disrespect the wisdom of their parents, sometimes, even teachers. Consequentially, the conflict between the two increases and becomes a fact of life.

Of course, there is love. How can there not be? But it recedes into the background in the wake of such conflicts that arise from egos and the inability to re-introduce the boundary lines which have been blurred considerably and crossed many times.

I think the quest to teach generations the old Indian model of relationships based on love and respect must made a reality in no uncertain terms. That environment itself has been missing since a very long time. And the concept of “independence” is now based on the all-consuming right to deny / disobey all advice that is not palatable even if it is wise.

How do you infuse the right blend of respect and friendship? The right and effective balance for a harmonious family life?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Purity of Intention

There comes a time when you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Being yourself is the best because it simplifies YOUR existence. And basically, you need to live to improve yourself.

So, improve and prove to yourself who you are or can be. If you need to explain yourself to others again and again , you will never become steady within your own space. You will be walking out of yours and into their space. This is not productive.

So, use purity of intention and thought before you act so, you don’t need to please anyone else. If people don’t understand you, that is normal. They are not expected to, from where they are standing. So, just move on.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.comSpeakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Courage

Sometimes, we extend a hand in friendship and then suddenly withdraw it. I wonder why ?

To include a new relationship often gets difficult if we constantly wonder what the people who are already in your life with think about the new entrant.

This is so common a phenomenon that it is amusing when it is not tragic ! It shows us up as subservient to others, and lacking independent courage. Plus, a fear of losing what is there.

Sometimes, new , fresh un-clone-like people are like a breath of fresh air. They might bring a certain zest in our lives , beyond the known and the mundane. How does one grow if not through different influences ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.comSpeakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Personal capacities

There are so many subtle emotions that we cannot differentiate between and tend to mix them up.

A major reason is self image . If we  gave gradually allowed dependency on others for our well being, we will  develop a trait of asking for sympathy and seeking love in sympathy towards us. The “woe is me” attitude which is not worth sustaining.

This is very debilitating in the long run. People should love us without pitying us because we have projected the “victim “ side of us.

We don’t realise how much we do this to keep people in our lives. But we are unable to improve this way, in our personal capacities.

We need more empaths in our lives and we have to become one to attract them.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Evolution

It is the ego that judges people. And it is our self esteem quotient that become critical , both of ourselves and others. We tend to judge others by what we don’t like within ourselves because there is a resonance between the two. It is almost like you dislike someone because they , in some way, show you what you lack. A mirror effect. And you don’t want to go there. Is denial the answer , is the question .

This is how we block our own evolution. The ego denies and falsifies evidence right before us. And we hurry away from truthful realisations. Does not solve anything though. In fact, compounds the issue , because now, we are trying to bury it deep inside. But it is going to trigger repercussions some time.

To step out of an uncomfortable darkness, the door needs to be opened to let the light in AND to move forward. And only WE can open that door.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Experiences

Opinions are generally generated from personal experiences. I am realising more and more that bickering about opinions and trying to prevail over others is such a futile exercise ! How do you really know if your experiences are the same as those of others ? Experiences become convictions and life is lived with those convictions. Experiences become convictions and life is lived with those convictions. Experiences become convictions and life is lived with those convictions.

The inherent danger here is that when we form opinions about people according to our experiences with them, we have already locked in the image of them . The fact is that we don’t allow for any changes in people whereas, we all change on a daily basis.

The irony is, we hold permanent grudges in a transient world where nothing can BE permanent.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Evolution

Who is a “sat guru”? “Sat” means the absolute and undeniable reality and “guru” refers to one who dispels the darkness.  Of what ? The darkness of ignorance of who we are .

It has been often said that a guru finds you when you are ready. And this being ready could be the evolution of our soul through multiple lifetimes. It also appears that when you are in need of a guru, you may find one.

Whatever the ways, a guru is one who activates and guides the spiritual path. This does not happen suddenly unless it is the grace of the Almighty. We have to keep working on ourselves through a multilayered pattern of discipline directed to achieve this goal.

A true guru also energises a student to move ahead without him or her when the time comes and when the ignorance transforms into knowledge, studied, reflected and meditated on , before internalising it.

It is serious business because the transformation is on the gross, subtle and causal aspects of the individual.

Today, an awareness is slowly creeping in , that goodness must be cultivated and harvested to embark on the path of purity and spiritual awakening. Different ways are available and any one can help if understood clearly .

Yes, there are challenges in the form of the many temptations the body and mind can fall prey to. And here is where a firm resolve that “I know this is good for me and my soul” works wonders.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.comSpeakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Transformation

It is amazing how we gradually develop a lifestyle on how others function and how they want us to function, pretty often like them, to form a “like minded” group. There is nothing “like minded” about this, because the urge to belong somewhere takes away the “mind” . Otherwise, we would not get led away but in fact, would lead ourselves  into a more healthy space… until one fine day,you realise the futility of it all. But now, it becomes very hard to reverse a road well travelled , which sadly, never led to the destination that the soul would have chosen.

It is a misnomer that if we choose over all health of mind and body as a priority, that we would become isolated. Yes, there would definitely be habits which would change. But a realignment by the universe is constantly happening. Everything finds its level if we let ourselves get help from it.

I am aware that even one habit is difficult to break. Because it has taken years of a repeated pattern to create it. Our mind also , along the way, has developed crutches to happiness. It rules us in a big way and we think WE are taking the decisions . Not so ! We are being led.

This is how , in extreme habit formation, addiction happens. When you can’t do without something because , that “something” gives you a false , temporary feeling of the “feel good” factor . And so, as an example, liquor is taken to relax. Why not meditation ?

Late nights and partying are a symbol of being cool and feeling happy. Why not getting up early sometimes, and chanting instead  ?

Meeting friends through the day fills our lives . Why not try being your own friend for a change and contemplating on why , after all this “full” life, you are not happy still ?

Transformation is difficult because it results in huge shifts in the mind. Because we actually start controlling it and taking informed decisions for our lives. There may be a price to pay in terms of losing some people and some group activities . But, this kind of “ losing” has astounding pluses for the individual…..

What lacks is human will based on awareness . If I don’t know what is good for me, my life will be over without ever attempting to see where it could have gone, with a little courage and faith . A healthy , spiritual life is a choice each one of us makes.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Solutions

Humans are always grappling with regrets. It is an art to do the right thing at the right time because, otherwise, it often loses its meaning. But not everyone can do this everytime. There WILL be lapses. And as they say, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Regrets are also a result of being impulsive, losing control or doing things innocently without considering how others may  react.

Whatever the reason, it is not a desirable emotion. It bogs you down when it is only a hindsight emotion. The event is past and gone by. But not for us who are still holding on. Like desperately holding onto water in the palm .

There are always solutions. Either make peace by moving on or forgive and move on. But , move on !

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Master juggler

Sometimes, life seems like a series of Acts in a long drama. Nothing makes sense and yet, everything is valid. Only because all the illusion is meant to help us to discover  the permanence of our souls which already exists but is not apparent to the limited brain of a human being. Even God loves to play games like hide and seek.

HE is the master juggler, juggling the whole world and each one of us. And instead of joining the game, we take everything seriously.

If we were to stop for a minute and watch this unfolding drama, we would live very differently instead of getting swept away by this grand illusion while HE sits back and has the last laugh.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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