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Archive for the ‘therapy’ Category


Sometimes, it is necessary to be cruel to be kind. To save the life of a loved one, we willingly sign an approval form for allowing a surgeon to use a knife on them. It is very painful to sit through each minute until we hear an “operation successful” verdict. It seems as if we lived those hours as if they were days and months. But we did it.

Punishments to kids are designed also for propelling them towards learning. Children often say, “You are so cruel”. We laugh because we know we love the kids and why we do what we do. But they perceive it in a different way.

It is not only to others but on ourselves, too, that we have to practice this principle. To be tough on ourselves doesn’t come easy. Grit your teeth. Tighten your belt….apt supporting thoughts. Indulge yourself a little only when you are generally in a state of balance. But success comes with resisting much temptation along the way, using much discipline, even more determination and perseverance. All these are symbolic “knives” . They “bleed” you but ultimately help you and give you a quality of life which could make you the object of envy.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Child depression has become a huge issue in the world of today. There were unwanted children, neglected children even earlier in time. However, the sole reason for stress in as young as school children today is the paucity of love, lack of opportunity, devaluation of merit and a desperate run towards. Just to name a few. There is much depression in children, visible and subtle, and it runs deep.

The new and upcoming affluence can demonstrate cluelessness. Some may be struggling to keep abreast of the rapid changes and not being too successful in giving a comprehensive education.

The thumb rule is, we give what we have. Rich parents give material things for the asking. They have money to burn. And thus, their kids burn their lives in it. The educated class ensures the education of their kids. The middle class has motivation and ambition to give their children because they have to and need to teach their kids to become earning citizens. There is not much to fall back on. Lower income groups struggle to give to their children period.

There is so much available out there that much of the depression comes from complete deprivation, the inability to procure what others seem to have. The pressure just to BE is unbelievable.

Somehow, in life, these are the things that matter. You tend to see only that. You seldom focus on those who give or want to give you happiness because they have it and know the value. Ironically, everyone wants it but no one wants to learn about how it can become a part of you. The more they run, the more elusive it becomes.

And when you don’t look for the right ingredients, automatically, you fail to draw the attention of your children to the meaningful achievements. And children learn by example.

Unfortunately, parents very often live through their children. This is yet another big source of depression in children today. Fulfilling the ambition of their parents. Being pushed where they don’t want to be. Bearing burdens they are too young to shoulder. Growing up before they have enjoyed childhood. Also, misusing childhood because they either have not been taught better or are swayed by the blinding light of parties and temptations, failing to see the darkness behind that blinding light…and everything blind needs eyes of wisdom.

We have much work to dispel that darkness within innocent minds and give them love, hope and a direction , not missing out the most important one: the spiritual one : the way back to their real source.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The current debate…conversions! We are so hung up on religious identities and intolerance of other religions that there are dedicated groups actively engaged in conversions. To what gain? Power? Controlling minds?

Isn’t it strange that no one thinks of conversion of their thoughts, destructive emotions, speech and actions? Even if we gloss over the conversion part, I don’t understand what kind of believers of a religion would want to convert others. Because enlightened people would live and let live.

Recently, there has been a picture of a temple in Dubai making rounds on whatsapp which shows a Hindu priest conducting a pooja and a Sheikh holding the pooja tray next to him. How beautiful and truly spiritual is this!

Conversions are so superficial. The soul has no religion. We just need reasons to ignite fires to control the masses. If you really mean business, why don’t you convert yourself, first from prejudices and hatred and second, from any kind of emotional negativity?

If this happens, conversions will be a thing of the past.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is not easy to deal with a desire for perfection in everything. You invariably deal with people who are anything but that. To deal with people when you are trying to achieve perfection and a certain standard in everything you do, you had better not rely on them completely unless you want to get stressed out and even fall ill.

Perfectionists have little patience with mediocrity. But to expect your standard of work from others is also foolish. In fact, it is wiser to bring down your standards a peg or two. Otherwise, you are likely to get into serious conflict with such people. To move forward, you might have to deal with less than efficient people and work.

Unfortunately, there are paid officials in many places who do not have the interest or ambition to grow and learn. Because they do not observe. And because they have no pride in their work.

And this gives rise to much frustration in perfectionists. I have seen people leave jobs, sack employees because of this. But they suffer for it.

So, simply put, be protective about your health, chill and relax a little. Everything will get done in time. I am often told that life should also be enjoyed. And I agree….so, learn to grin and bear in general.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Life Journey


Whenever we judge people, we are indirectly telling ourselves that we are better than them. The truth is, if your mind is open and your intention is learning and growing, evolving to higher levels, you will find you can learn something from everyone.

But when the mind is not clear, we choose that we won’t mind learning from someone we like but not from someone we dislike. We grudge the latter their wisdom, their maturity. Very childish on our part. Because ultimately, WE lose out, not them. Like cutting our nose to spite our face kind of situation.

The problems in the world today arise somewhat from such polluted attitudes. We forget that we are travelling in a moving train where we will have to get off one day. We forget that the actual day of judgment is not when our ego judges someone but when WE are judged after our life.

I am amazed at what I see each day. You start with a shock, and then shock after shock at the way humans behave with each other and often due to small or not so small misunderstandings. Sometimes, rigidities. Often due to insecurities. Or, sometimes, it is just a huge ego and so on, until one day, it results in shock no more.

THAT is the day when your journey of detachment begins. The sooner, the better because attachment can make you so vulnerable that it has the power to kill, at least to make you physically very ill.

 Dying of heartbreak and hurt is not something you want to do. So, let every experience make you mentally and spiritually stronger every day. As they say, you can either swim or sink.

This is for all those people who love too much and unconditionally. If you do, do it as an act of God. And practice this: “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”, cleanse your mind and move on. No one is going to be with you all the time. A gentle reminder! Your journey is alone, my friends.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is so strange that although the body and mind are connected, very often, they feel disconnect also. The mind rules the body but the body language is unaware that the mind is speaking through it. It is largely the mind that affects the body.

When we talk of a twisted mind, we are also seeing a visible effect on the body through the facial expressions. Likewise, we fail to hide our joy that the mind is generating.

There are books and books on mind control, but few on body control unless you look and yoga and exercise. But even so, yoga is also done for mind control apart from muscle control and toning.

So, the awareness that the mind body complex is interdependent and not separated is the right awareness for the right balance.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we speak of dharma, we generally get a mixed bag definition: rituals, duties, religion etc. And the result is confusion. Because dharma is not any one of these. If anything divides human beings, it absolutely cannot be dharma.

The core of dharma in its true sense lies in each one of us.

HONESTY: we might get cynical here because we see very little honesty today. And yet, it is our core because, when thinking about it, who can accept and actually like dishonesty? Which means honesty IS our core.

WORK/ ACTIVITY: Movement and change are two constants. Activity is our second core. We need to give it direction but all humans have act ..that is, keep moving . It is inevitable.

CLEANLINESS: an inevitable measure of dharma. To clean not only the body but the thoughts, the mind and emotions, ego as well as our environment.

KINDNESS: to care selflessly. Help people in need without wanting to be on page 3. On human, compassionate grounds.

Irrespective of your religion, any other identities you might have, all the four points mentioned constitute your inner core as a human being. And if all of us started understanding and practicing this form of dharma, there would come a time when all humans of whichever religion, caste, creed would happily and harmoniously share space, love and peaceful progress.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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