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Archive for the ‘regression’ Category


When we go out to a restaurant, there is a huge menu we choose from. These are items we love and want to indulge in . But they are not necessarily good for our health. We still bypass that thought and make the choice. We tell ourselves, it is only for that meal. So, we end up eating that food and develop indigestion or food poisoning.

Now, similarly , when damaging feelings enter us, we again must choose either to let them in and adopt them as ours or let them go immediately as being wrong for us. Knowing that this may start a pattern, we still accept these feelings because we want to retaliate.

The main cause is that we have not been able to separate ourselves from our egos. So, who gets hurt ? Who wants to retaliate ? It is the ego. If we learn to make a choice against the ego and in favor of ourselves, we can avert any illness of the mind.

If you want freedom from the ego, the most effective way is to simply acknowledge the undesirable thoughts and emotions that came in and the actions they set off. To say, “I was wrong” is really liberating. To say, “I am sorry” and MEAN it is even more liberating. It just clears the air within us and between two people also. Not that you mean to, but this rattles the opposite person and generally forces him or her to introspect.

Ultimately, our purpose is to work with love, not anger , resentment, fear or hatred, isn’t it ? 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Some days are like a light, happy breeze blowing …everything just flows without effort. Kind of raises our expectations for the future…when suddenly, you wake up to events not really to your liking and the stress begins. And with that, we start to magnify the small issues on that particular day. For some, the stress and the bad mood can persist beyond just one day, too.

In Hindi, there is a saying “sab din hote na ek samaan”. How true! All the days in our life cannot be the same. And that’s exactly why we are told all the time that we can only change our responses to events. 

I am not saying we should be like saints, though enlightenment can and should be the ultimate goal. We have to really work at it, gradually and with focus.

But on a daily basis, we do have to come back to the merit of accepting what confronts us before looking at what can be done about it
or whether ANYTHING can be done at all. There is always a sense of wisdom in letting sleeping dogs lay sometimes but not always. That is perhaps the key to improving our days.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Journey


At some point, when you have been running and running for a really long time, you have to stop and ask, “Why am I running? Has it gotten me anywhere that I really want to be?

Whether you run after things or people or your hopes or dreams, the levels of exhaustion are directly proportionate to the levels of satisfaction and success. And even then, in time this wears off too….everything has a saturation point after which it becomes kind of redundant…stops mattering in the larger scheme of things.

And if it doesn’t, then maybe there is a longer journey ahead or a different journey ahead…one thing is sure. We will continue to search even after all the worldly gains have been achieved, because there is the matter of the spirit which is still pending.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is inevitable that in our journey, some stay with us all along and some fulfill the reason they were in your life and move away. It is absolutely ordained and within the plan of our life.

Forming attachments along the way makes this learning difficult. Much grief, sorrow and unacceptability comes our way, leading to an arrest in the growth process. We were not meant to gather so much negativity. But learning such lessons with wisdom would make our tough karma easier to handle, though inevitable to experience.

Like a child that fails in exams when it has not learnt the right lessons, life is one such exam where learning does not come only from mugging but observing, introspecting, experiencing, making wise decisions and choices and then arriving at the right path.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is amazing to actually draw parallels between our external and inner worlds. Whenever things are confused outside, I can see that there is some confusion inside as well. You will also realize this. Haven’t you noticed that some days you just get up feeling heavy and the whole day goes wrong…nothing goes right.

Old memories get triggered, because of some negativity in the subconscious mind and of course, this manifests outside. The day you are not well, you tend to avoid the world around you because there would surely be conflicts.

These memories are what we need to cleanse through meditation, introspection and transformation.

 Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

 surekhakothari.wordpress.com

 Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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“I hear you” is a very common phrase. But is that enough? The counter question would be, “but are you listening?” Have you noticed that very often, when we are talking to someone, their eyes are somewhere else and their minds are visibly wandering? I have often stopped midway in my sentence and felt really foolish to realize that I am talking to myself. It is as if I have been addressing a wall all the while.

 

I wonder if people are aware of their actions at such times. Where are those simple people who genuinely care and share love, empathy and compassion only because that is vital to the quality of a human being?

 

The cacophony of sounds caused by our own screaming desires is probably sufficient to tune out any external voices. The complexities of our wants and the imbalances of our emotions are greatly responsible for our inability to rise above ourselves to focus on someone whose life can be transformed just by listening and understanding, by lending not only our ears but also our hearts to them. Only then does one actually start to “listen” to others with concern for them.

We tend to “hear” voices like we hear car horns and dogs barking on the streets, without paying attention to them. But when we claim we are “listening”, there has to be a focus, attention and caring.

 

Many of us are guilty of not listening to even our own near and dear ones who may not say exactly what is topical or relevant according to our perspective but to them, it may be vital. Today, we love to talk about Corporate Social Responsibility projects. We speak of being prominent social workers. But, it is the small acts of listening, understanding and kindness that fetch us big brownie points in the eyes of the Almighty.

 

There is no joy in living just for oneself. That was not the Grand Plan. So, the next time someone speaks to us, let us not just “hear”. Let us listen!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

 

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A farmer had a dog that used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one came he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. One day a neighbor asked the farmer “Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?” The farmer replied, “That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one.”

 

Many people in life behave like that dog who is pursuing meaningless goals. There is always a personal definition of “meaningless” for each of us. Life has so much to offer that it is often very difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. Sometimes, we may think we have made them, but the resulting experience may ring hollow. So, there is little satisfaction in the whole exercise.

 

The good news is that this kind of experience helps us search further and this search takes us forward in our journey towards evolution. We need to know what to do, of course, but it is also equally important to understand what not to do.

 

I see many judgmental people who are looking at the lives of others with a microscope. If we really think about it, do we really know what the components of someone else’s journey are? It is very possible that what we perceive as “meaningless” may be very meaningful in their journey. So, again, “meaningless” becomes a very subjective feeling.

 

Taking off from the story of the dog, maybe, its journey of chasing cars is exciting. Maybe, it will get tired when it gets tired and then, starts to look for something else which may excite him.

 

The thought I am attempting to present here is, there is nothing meaningless in life. Everything happens for a reason because everything has a built in lesson for us. Maybe, the owner of the dog should have chased cars to see what lies in that experience.

 

The learning is, do what your heart tell you. Be happy. Everything works if there is a flow of energy that doesn’t create any blocks. Every breath we take is also an experience because we really don’t know if it going to be our last one.

 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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