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Tit for Tat


I just read somewhere that people try their best to expose what is wrong with you because they can’t handle what is right with you. I find this to be a little unnecessary. Fault finding is an aberration of the mind which tells you that you are not good enough. From your perspective, you might feel good but believe me, it is temporary and the aftermath of feeling guilty and not so good is uncomfortable.

In society, it is normal to speak behind the back of a person because you don’t want people to know that you are capable of slander. But slander it is, however much you might try to cloak it. It is your negativity that gets aired and people are quick to sense this as well, although they may not say it to your face.

Many people say that they are just giving tit for tat. But that doesn’t stop you from also being in the wrong.

Life is meant to move from strength to strength, to become better and better, more and more compassionate and generous. Instead of pointing out the wrong because you can’t handle the right, you can appreciate the right of another and correct the wrong within you. And this applies to all of us.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Source of fear


On a scale of 0 to 10, how much are you driven by fear of losing the people you love? We all need to really think about this because much of our life IS ruled by this fear.

The thought of being rejected or shunned torments and transforms into depression in many cases. And then, you can ask for references of names of psychologists/ psychiatrists / healers to tackle your depression.

First of all, fear itself is avoidable. What can be the value of fear between two people who are close? Only desperation to remain close can trigger fear. The insecurity can trigger fear.

To make people indispensable in your life can be a source of fear. They can rule your heart by all means. Love does not need reciprocity. You love because you love. It is your choice and no one can take it away. But if people you love choose to leave or create a distance, you should still be able to love them and pray for their happiness. Love is not a trade off although this is the way it works in this world.

You scratch my back and I scratch yours, and let us both bleed to death in the name of love, curtain close applause. Now, let us go home. This is the world we live in.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Survival


A motivational, beautiful story I heard recently. A man’s donkey fell into a deep pit from where there was no way out. The man was very sad and wanted to bury the donkey before it languished to its death. So, he began pouring soil on the donkey. Each time he did that, the donkey shook it off and stood up. The man kept doing this and the donkey kept shaking every load off. The man did not realize that the pit was filling up and soon, the donkey was able to walk out of the pit.

This is so close to life. People try to bury you for various reasons but you need to have the courage and creativity of the donkey and snake off any “loads” being poured over you. Develop the survival instinct like the donkey. Otherwise, to get buried is the easiest thing in the world.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Attitudes of people


There is a very wise saying in Hindi which, translated, means, and “never throw stones in still waters”. Let things be. Let sleeping dogs lie. Don’t create ripples unnecessarily, so relevant for life and attitudes of people. When things are moving smoothly, there will always be people disturbing the peace, people who get restless when there is no problem. Peaceful

Existence also becomes intolerable for some. I think peace is also a habit, like any other. There are those who can’t live any other way. But living in a world of dualities, many will spring up around you to threaten your peace.

But, I wonder if that is not too placid a way to exist. That turbulence is also required to grow. If stones are not thrown into still waters, the water may stagnate. And sometimes, when you let sleeping dogs lie, your home may be burgled.

The core issue is to know when to and when not to throw a stone.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari


This is the era of knowledge predominance, so much technology, Brilliance etc. But we have not emerged from our decadent mindsets yet. Look at the kind of “education” our entertainment industry provides us. We talk about equality, rights of women, leveling out the society, going back to “family”, respecting women (huge one, this!)

Women, even today, are depicted in the worst ways. Watch an Indian or Pakistani drama (similar people in both countries) and the most prominent theme is women bashing, subservience and ill treatment of women, woman against woman (as in mother in law and sister in law), intrigue, attempt by the family to destroy the daughter in law because of dowry (sick!) or the obsessive tendencies of the mother in law and sisters in law to control the “son” of the family…COME ON!

And we talk of changing our world by making it progressive. We know that generations after generations internalize these situations, machinations, dangerous and vicious intrigue and vicarious pleasure at the downfall of others. So much so that we copy reel life and paste it in real life.

In real life, we may not have women characters retiring for the night in their finest heavy saris and jewelry but we do have the masses enjoying all the politics and deviousness in families on television and don’t necessarily forget about them to go into loving and caring ways with the family, friends and society.

The thinkers say it is their choice to see what appeals to them and that you can’t dictate what should be produced and aired. But the appeal of exposure to and specially the enjoyment of such dramas/ serials can be vital to the health of family, community and country, because they create regressive attitudes and “license to kill” with self indulgence of every kind. These are people who specialize in herd mentality and don’t have opinions of their own. AND, they idolize actors and juxtapose their roles in their own lives, the erosion of values, Eve teasing, violations of women, these gain momentum. But we don’t have any forum to exorcise our people of thinking and behavioral patterns, including a corrupt judiciary and police.

What all are we going to and HOW are we going to clean up these to add to the “swachh Bharat” endeavor? If insides are rotting, what cleanliness can we see outside? We will have understood the wholesome and vast implications of “swachh” first.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Perception


Setting examples! The common belief is that parents and elders should set examples to their children to follow. From generation to generation, this hasn’t changed. And while that is true, many parents have to also face a lot of flak and criticism for not coming up to the mark by setting adequate examples worthy of being emulated.

In all of this, I often wonder! Are we setting good examples for ourselves first? Or is it that counseling and advising others on how to live life is easier? For sure, in most cases.

So, how do I appear to me be the moot questioned because it is only that perception which can be changed if we don’t look good to ourselves? We can’t mute that inner voice that speaks to us like we can mute a chat group with a click today.

So, it is most worthwhile to start improving our image in our own eyes and take our own advice, which we generally give others. Be your own example and let others emulate it if they so wish.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Solution


Overactive and emotionally disturbed ! Yes, the two can go hand in hand sometimes. If someone faces injustice, abuse and lack of love , emotional disturbance is a given. The point is, how to survive this feeling of being victimised for no fault of yours ? Simple ! The first choice is, DON’T accept victim-hood. I do not know if anyone who has not had people who have tried to break them down.

While some lacking courage might succumb, the fact is, to succumb to any form of injustice is as much a crime as practising it. On the other hand, those who have a distinctly defiant streak may go the other way by becoming so busy and active that they don’t focus on their emotions. But that is also a denial of a kind because whatever else you do, emotions ride with you. That is the issue.

So, being aware of this, it is better to accept and run through all the emotions one by one till they get exhausted and dissolved. Running away from them is not a permanent solution at all.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari