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Perceive love


Paramahansa Yogananda says: “Love cannot be had for the asking; it comes only as a gift from the heart of another”.

Such wisdom! We tend to expect that love should automatically come to us from certain people, like parents, siblings, spouses etc. Not only expect it but we would like to determine the quality, extent and intensity, too. It is all about personal needs whereas love is a fountain from the heart. If that fountain is minimized or shut down at will, or through traumatic circumstances, it will not be forthcoming.

I know of a case where this person felt so unloved that she neglected an obvious ailment just so that she would get attention. And later, when she regretted the neglect, it was too late and she passed on, a sheer case of expecting love from a source that had none to give.

Yes, our hearts need to be open to love and to receive it as well. And love cannot be demanded. It has to be a gift given willingly and out of love.

I have been told, “I am very loving but I don’t know why I never get it”. These are perspectives. Love is given in different ways by different people and not exactly the way we want it. Some love silently and are not demonstrative. Some love less but show more though there IS love here too. Some show their caring by making life easier for their near and dear ones but never say, “I love you”.

We have to have eyes in our hearts as it were, to see, to perceive love in its multiple forms and formats.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Effect of loss


Festivals define relationships. They are laced with sadness sometimes when, for example, you lose a near and dear one. As in case of losing a sibling and going through the day of Raksha Bandhan. They are poignant memories.

Although we know that roles keep

Changing in every life, attachment to form and feelings, the energy connections are pretty binding. They are very strong. The missing is inevitable. The grieving is personal and private while you smile and go through the motions of the rituals attached to festivals.

Such is life. Such is the effect of loss.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Space


Spaces really intrigues me. I have lived in all shapes and sizes of homes with small rooms and not so small rooms. People say space defines a human being. I wonder? Does it really?

I would rather concentrate on the space within. I have seen highly spiritual people live within a very tiny space. And I have also seen people living in mansions whose inner space is very small and restricted.

Sometimes, I think the larger the space within; the less is the desire to acquire external space. Because any space which is external would be limited as compared to our inner “Akash”. Anyway, it’s not as if the acquisition of a humongous amount of space would be put to good use. It would probably be a constantly inflating ego that would occupy the large space and reside there indefinitely, and sometimes permanently.

Whereas, the deeper memories are of small homes filled with love and warmth, a small kitchen with just two items cooked lovingly, of dormitory style sleeping amidst giggles and much joy. Of elders becoming like kids amidst kids. And who also taught us the meaning of life in all its simplicity where people loved people and used things.

Today, people are used and things are loved and times will change again and yet again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari


We generally live in a hypocritical society. In families too, there are different behavioral patterns demanded of different people. No one yardstick. I have heard this line ad nauseum since childhood.” You do the right thing. Never mind what others do”. Really! It sounds like a wonderful line but can be a terrible line as well.

What is expected behavior from an elder child of the family or an imported family member like a daughter in law is different from that of the younger people. Much leeway is given to the latter. Why? I have never understood this. What is good for one should be taught to or expected from the others too.

Over a period of time then, what happens is that responsibility falls only on the person doing the “right” thing , willingly or out of force and expected. And the others are super quick in taking the advantage. I have often said that injustice done over and over again to the “right” doer will reach a crescendo one day and that day, there is a possibility of a volcano eruption. All the rules will get destroyed in the lava of bottled up anger.

I would not advocate this system itself, because the ultimate results are drastic and painful. Indian parents are famous for installing this system and igniting many issues. Different rules for girls and boys, different rules for the daughters and daughters in law, different rules for the older and younger. And so on.

 So many reactions due to so much suppression of the spirit bordering on injustice among family members. And then they cry about families breaking up! You dare not speak up even if someone is being the cause of division of the family. “Do the right thing”. KEEP QUIET and LET IT BE. Wow! What a destructive mantra, right? You only have to see the results to know this.

Frankness and straightforwardness should pay if we are not complicated and do things in the right spirit, with the right intentions and good will and without silly rules that divide more than unite people.

And I do feel injustice MUST be expressed to stop the tyranny of the perpetrators. The popular theory of mother in law and daughter in law , warring family members, the tendencies of usurpation of finance and power etc. are already spelling a death knell for families and in turn, societies. The tragedy is: no one cares anymore and no one stops to think. And I think all this has happened because individuals have not been given their due, their freedom of spirit and equal respect to be they and interact with others on their own steam.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Healing


When you get pushed into circumstances unknowingly and they turn out to be adverse, even ugly, you quickly tell yourself it was karma, because you had no valid explanation. But when, knowingly, you step into such circumstances, there is anger. Even rage, at yourself, either for having trusted the wrong people or having listened against your inner voice to someone you “respected” Or for a cloudy judgment. In any case, it IS karma to be in a place and among people you were chosen to be with. But it is very difficult to look at it this way when your life is crumbling to pieces and your desires are a distant dream.

Changing your place and your space gives you breathing space.

As you grow older, perhaps, you only seek consolidation of people around you who have stood the test of time AND been with you, People who have been kind and loving, healing in their presence. And I understand why the importance is not “family” per se but souls who may or may not be family but who have a salutary effect on you. Oh yes, and loyal, too.

Old postulates and belief systems are just that: old. And often don’t work. What works is being among those who see your chinks but treat them and you lovingly and accept without criticism and without judgment.

For, who really knows when your last day might be?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Divine Spirit


Sometimes, you feel all your supports caving in. That you are standing in the scorching sun with not a trace of any shade around you, as in the burning sands of a desert. This is pretty much the reality of many who have chronic back problems, especially the lower back. Feeling a total lack of support.

Actually, it is a dark perception that emanates from within the complexity of the mind. We shun and we are shunned. And isolation is the result. More important, there is a cloud over the universal and Divine support which is always there for the asking, but not automatic.

Affirmations make a world of difference. A wonderful affirmation for this condition would be:

The Divine Spirit supports me completely and structures my life.

I am blessed, safe, loved and totally supported. For a minimum of 21 consecutive days without a break.

The mind begins to calm down and reconnects with the Divine energy.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Understanding


I wonder often… when one actually reaches closure to anything. When a wound stops festering and begins to heal and whether it is ever given a chance to keep healing or whether someone keeps touching the raw nerves so that they never heal, at all. And time passes, it stays until it’s time to pass on.

The agony of the human being is completely underestimated and / or undermined because no one can get into anyone’s shoes to experience it. But many claim to. And many are critical without understanding. This is something I have yet to understand. It is truly amazing.

And to make matters worse and more challenging is the compulsory and social need to wear a happy surface skin which hangs loosely because the wounded skin is so tightly wrapped around.

Blessed are the souls who can feel this deeply about others.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari