Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Mind’ Category

Constant habit


When we are depressed and angry with the world, we tend to go from bad to worse in our mental condition. Anger only dissipates your energy up to a level where you lose your ability to think straight, let alone heal yourself. And in this mode, you tend to become your own worst enemy.

This situation requires the ability to analyze the core issue of the anger because, as I have experienced it, anger is always self directed…for what could have happened but didn’t, for the wrong choices made, for lost opportunities, for a lack of love, for loneliness, for feeling rejection, depression…and more.

It is not easy to turn inwards. The mind only wants to blame and blame everyone and everything but the self.

And then, we seek recourse to prayer. Even after, we often wait for a change to HAPPEN rather than MAKE it happen. We need help.

A wonderful way to overcome this mode : just ask yourself..

Why am I angry?

Who am I angry with?

Why am I angry with that person or situation?

Did I contribute to it in any way?

Answer all these questions truthfully to yourself and you will find that most of the time, you failed to look within to find the actual issue. That you had the power to understand and let go but you held on.

Making a constant habit of this kind of clinical analysis can help you in cultivating a calm persona.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »

Life Journey


Whenever we judge people, we are indirectly telling ourselves that we are better than them. The truth is, if your mind is open and your intention is learning and growing, evolving to higher levels, you will find you can learn something from everyone.

But when the mind is not clear, we choose that we won’t mind learning from someone we like but not from someone we dislike. We grudge the latter their wisdom, their maturity. Very childish on our part. Because ultimately, WE lose out, not them. Like cutting our nose to spite our face kind of situation.

The problems in the world today arise somewhat from such polluted attitudes. We forget that we are travelling in a moving train where we will have to get off one day. We forget that the actual day of judgment is not when our ego judges someone but when WE are judged after our life.

I am amazed at what I see each day. You start with a shock, and then shock after shock at the way humans behave with each other and often due to small or not so small misunderstandings. Sometimes, rigidities. Often due to insecurities. Or, sometimes, it is just a huge ego and so on, until one day, it results in shock no more.

THAT is the day when your journey of detachment begins. The sooner, the better because attachment can make you so vulnerable that it has the power to kill, at least to make you physically very ill.

 Dying of heartbreak and hurt is not something you want to do. So, let every experience make you mentally and spiritually stronger every day. As they say, you can either swim or sink.

This is for all those people who love too much and unconditionally. If you do, do it as an act of God. And practice this: “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”, cleanse your mind and move on. No one is going to be with you all the time. A gentle reminder! Your journey is alone, my friends.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »

Traumas


“To hell and back” is common terminology when we go through an intensely bad experience and are trying to recover. None of us can actually live in anyone’s shoes to feel that intensity. Though we can try.

To feel someone’s pain, agony is an evidence of very deep soul connections. We don’t feel so for everyone and there is so much misery in this world.

The intense and searing pain that tears us apart at the suffering or death of a special person can create a hell around us on a daily basis. This is what depressions are all about. You get up in the mornings and the first thought is about these souls, that is, if you slept through the night before. This is true of all traumas that we go through in our lives at various ages, from rape to betrayals to abject misery and disenchantment.

The biggest service we can provide is to try and mitigate at least a percentage of that feeling of “hell” where they live. Even if we can touch one life in this manner.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »


Common sense says one must do what is progressive. What hinders progress is obviously our inability to THINK progressive. India being such an ancient country, it is steeped in various traditions. Each state has its own culture and traditions, almost as if it were a different country.

As a nation, we evolved. We tried to learn from other countries as did others from us. But somewhere, we started thinking that the definition of progress is more money, more power. The race is to become a power center. In every field.

This power center is like the honey that bees get attracted to and swarm around. And then, we develop a mob mentality ruled by these power centers. Basically, a mob mentality is mindless and can often become a dangerous trend.

Any belief that begins to border on fanaticism loses its core of origin. Every belief starts with an experience and gets strengthened as a stereotype which is then very hard to let go or change.

We must remember that stereotypes are valid for a period of time. And there valid reasons for their development and existence, too. But they are not all timeless.

We have heard ad nauseum that change is a constant. So, some truths also change with time. To move on and adapt ourselves would certainly be progress if the consequences all around would be win all around.

But if we try and hang onto some stereotypes which lost their value in an evolving world or within a changing context, we could end up in a regressive situation instead of a progressive one. And every phase is chronicled in history as the wisdom or the madness of men. We look back in judgment but what we need is to be vigilant and aware in every phase so that wisdom prevails and we need not look back with regret, small or big.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »


A beautiful story with a message. There was once a clever businessman who, while crossing a river, fell in. Not knowing how to swim, he started shouting for help. A traveller who was walking along the bridge thought he would help him. So, he bent down and extended his hand, saying “give me your hand”.

The drowning man said, “No, I won’t give you my hand”. The man who was trying to save him understood that he has never developed a habit of giving. So, he told him, “can you at least HOLD my hand?” the man said, “yes”, and was pulled to safety.

If we look at the attitude of both, we understand how important it is to give.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »


Banking and karma are very similar. You open an account. You make certain investments, including FDs. Sometimes, when investments are bad ones, they give you losses. And good ones, dividends.

Once our karma account is opened, we should try to make good investments. Otherwise, we will find our account of good karma depleting very fast and then we are left with very little balance.

There is always a tussle between the need to create good karma and the blocks we create with our ego. We need to work on understanding this big time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »


When we go out to a restaurant, there is a huge menu we choose from. These are items we love and want to indulge in . But they are not necessarily good for our health. We still bypass that thought and make the choice. We tell ourselves, it is only for that meal. So, we end up eating that food and develop indigestion or food poisoning.

Now, similarly , when damaging feelings enter us, we again must choose either to let them in and adopt them as ours or let them go immediately as being wrong for us. Knowing that this may start a pattern, we still accept these feelings because we want to retaliate.

The main cause is that we have not been able to separate ourselves from our egos. So, who gets hurt ? Who wants to retaliate ? It is the ego. If we learn to make a choice against the ego and in favor of ourselves, we can avert any illness of the mind.

If you want freedom from the ego, the most effective way is to simply acknowledge the undesirable thoughts and emotions that came in and the actions they set off. To say, “I was wrong” is really liberating. To say, “I am sorry” and MEAN it is even more liberating. It just clears the air within us and between two people also. Not that you mean to, but this rattles the opposite person and generally forces him or her to introspect.

Ultimately, our purpose is to work with love, not anger , resentment, fear or hatred, isn’t it ? 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »