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Archive for the ‘conditioning’ Category


The human mind can be really fickle if we don’t watch out! Its likes and dislikes oscillate much more than the changing seasons. Maybe, in current times, the seasons are also becoming as unpredictable as people.

We must really ask ourselves why we are so lacking in consistency and why should our will prevail each time? This seems to be a huge reason for our inconsistency. “I”…”Mine”…Yes sir! We salute you. It is and has to be only you and you… amazing! And this would also be fine if there were no frequent variations in what came out of that “I” and “mine”. But the inconsistencies within short term consistencies which I am calling “fickle” here seem to be endless.

Especially when in a group. Group behavior, if you notice, is a typical example. A few days back, I wrote about insecurities. Frequently changing parameters of emotions are directly linked to the very same insecurities.

Often, we misinterpret, and sometimes, wantonly misinterpret the words or acts of people we are not too fond of or are even envious of. Where is the core issue? Of course, within us. We actually don’t have the courage to be ourselves and fall short in our own eyes.

So, fickleness leads to oscillations, and this soon becomes a chain. Like riding a bike downhill without a break. We don’t know how and where we are going to end up. Because the bike is driven by “I” and “mine” whereas the consistency is due to the ability to control the brakes .These are the “we” which we fail to activate.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Solution


When we need someone, we end up compromising ourselves. The equation changes and is not an equal one. And the direct result is the feeling of being taken advantage of. Very normal and understandable.

BUT…when the awareness of this happens, it becomes a less tolerable situation and a difficult task to set the equation straight. Then there is resentment. Many have experienced this and continue to do so…

What is the solution? Must this be changed even if it is difficult? Because everything comes with a price. Are we prepared to pay it? In these types of cases, distances can arise between people.

Or, should one keep the surface equation intact? In any eventuality, one will have to change the negative feeling and heal it. Our past actions cannot be judged because they are past. If one learns from them that is wise. The healing can happen when we know what happened, re live it and understand what we did and why.

There is no need to beat ourselves up or regret our actions. All we need to do is analyze our own needs for that moment or period of time. This in itself is the seed of a solution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In this country, it is no surprise that people are so divided. Their individual conditioning is not based on a common yardsticks. Every religion has a separate rules book and rituals. And although we may link all religions to one source, is it so simple?

The environment in a Christian home, a Hindu home and a Muslim home will always have different energies. Energies are so subtle that they can be felt even if one is not very sensitive. The thoughts, the way of speaking, actions, cultural orientation etc.

I speak of religion as a priority because our societies are formed around religions…religious sects and cults. All of these claim to teach tolerance, acceptance and love but strangely enough, they succeed in doing just the opposite. The evidence is staring at us each day. Groupism on belief systems taught and practiced because of having a common teacher or Guru is seen everywhere. Nothing wrong so far. You have to draw inspiration from some elevated platform.

The problem arises when each group thinks they are the best and they are right in their beliefs. Therefore, by default, the others may not be so right. How can they be when there is only one type of “right” per group? According to them, of course. This attitude magnifies the differences and so, similarities recede into the background when actually, these are the ones that bind people together.

We need knowledge beyond the “taught” knowledge and that can only come through personal practice and experience by exposure to all kinds of people and their ways of thinking and doing things. And by putting in work on yourself consistently. No guru or teacher can experience anything on your behalf. They can guide you in the right direction though.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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This is especially for moms. Once the children fly the nest, there is a huge upheaval inside them, a deep void which very few understand unless they have gone through it themselves. Children included. It is so difficult to get into “someone else’s” shoes. Yes, I have called a mom “someone else” because she IS.

I don’t mean this in a callous way. It is an Indian thing that moms pretty much sacrifice many years in looking after the kids. I won’t say “nurturing”. Many kids don’t feel nurtured though many moms have done their best, some of them while going through hell themselves. And many moms could have done better as well as long as they don’t beat themselves up for this thought. . But “could have” is speculative.

So, to come back to the void within, it is accompanied by a lot of guilt. “Maybe, I failed in this and this…”. The “could have” syndrome! And some kids make sure they tell you. So, you are left in no doubt if you were even a little doubtful earlier. And there is always hurt…o yes! Immeasurable hurt!

So, I want to tell these moms what my guru says …when kids fly the nest, you start building one for yourself which augments other aspects of your personality which you had no time to look at or gave up out of love for kids or some other compulsions.

I believe in “alone”, not “lonely”. “Alone” carries opportunities for growth. “Lonely” lacks the ability to see those opportunities. How long will you be a conformist if it does not make you happy?

Domesticity is a long habit. It is not a bad thing. But, it is not the ONLY thing. The sooner moms realize this, the more they will be able to expand their vision and incorporate their dreams into it.

Good luck!!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Every phase in time has had priority requirements. But none of the phases ever required atrocities, traumas, hatred, intolerance, greed, war mongering and enmity in the name of separatist “identities”.

We keep hearing that “satyug” will come back one day. And how well greed would be justified if we craved for satyug as of yesterday. True, this planet cannot take any more negativity. All the healers need to come together, connect and heal the planet and the gross misdeeds of human beings regularly. The way this world is churning today, the writing on the wall is very clearly visible.

Man is insatiable in seeking hell. Has lost all sense of wisdom. Lives in an illusory imagination of permanence and delusions of grandeur and Omni presence. The road leads to a “no man’s land”, darkness beyond the imaginable.

Let the light shine again. Let this planet know peace and joy, the brotherhood of man and man again. And let peace, harmony and prosperity reign. It is long overdue.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Thoughts


Have we ever thought that our thoughts are linked with our karma? If you notice, when we are weak and family members are negative around, success eludes at the best of times.

For example, a simple case of a child failing in exams! This soul, due to its past karma, takes negative decisions, wastes time and fail. Parents keep thinking that it is the child’s fault and keep saying that the child IS going to fail because of the digression of the child’s mind. This energy becomes the energy in the home and it actually makes the negative happen. So, in the family circle, this child is being sacrificed to negative energy. It is like igniting a fire.

Instead, the circle around the child should surround this child with positive energy and send only good thoughts to the child so that it can reform the thoughts and take the right decisions to channelize its energy towards work and pass the exams.

In any family or group environment, blaming, anger, admonishing a child and diminishing it shows the weakness of the parent, not the child. That it is imperative for the whole circle of people around to fill the environment with positivity to get positive results in good time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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At the start of the year, you should resolve to defeat your karma as the chief resolution. Sounds strange, right? How that is possible is the immediate thought. I love to quote the story of Savitri and Satyavaan in which Savitri brought her dead husband back to life from the possession of Yama, the God of death.

Symbolically and otherwise, the one aspect visible in this story is that with courage and passion, anything is possible. And that’s why I say, if that karma was defeated, all karma can be defeated.

How?

That you have to experience the consequences of your past karma is a reality. But HOW you choose to do so is a decision that lies squarely in your court. You can either transform the experience into a new beginning or cry all the way.

The beauty of life is, even if you do not get what you wanted in one or two aspects of life, there are many other aspects available to develop because we are very vast beings, connected to a very large canvas of energy. Why do we need to limit ourselves?

You know, I have seen many people go to a multiplex, only to find the movie they wanted to see showing a houseful board but they look at other options and find the best one under the circumstances. Why? Because they had made up their minds to see a movie that day.

Isn’t life somewhat similar? So, maybe, I wanted to be a doctor but ended up being a pharmacist. Maybe, I badly wanted kids but could not have them. So, I decided to adopt one. Or maybe, I wanted the proverbial perfect marriage but circumstances were not perfect and I decided to develop other talents I had. And kept my friendship going with the spouse. Positivity all the way…

The moment you click on the “options” button, you see a drop down menu with a wide range of choices and if you are a positive, die hard kind of a person, some options will definitely engage your mind and imagination.

 Hey, after all, we are in this world for a specific period of time. There is no time to cry over anything. Instead, whatever karma is unfolding before you in your life is only giving you a chance to turn to other activities which are waiting to be explored and can be brought within your reach with enough passion and a desire to make good your life.

So, you have a Rukmini Devi starting to learn Bharatnatyam at 30 years of age and you have a Kalakshetra in Chennai as an evidence of her passion for the art. Look around and many such legends can be seen.

So, karma resolution through transformation is very doable. Just don’t let yourself go down with self pity and don’t let yourself sink into the illusion of darkness…for, that’s all it is an illusion…there is nothing like darkness. It is the absence of light that we call darkness. Light is the only reality.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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