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Archive for the ‘attitude’ Category

Solution


When we need someone, we end up compromising ourselves. The equation changes and is not an equal one. And the direct result is the feeling of being taken advantage of. Very normal and understandable.

BUT…when the awareness of this happens, it becomes a less tolerable situation and a difficult task to set the equation straight. Then there is resentment. Many have experienced this and continue to do so…

What is the solution? Must this be changed even if it is difficult? Because everything comes with a price. Are we prepared to pay it? In these types of cases, distances can arise between people.

Or, should one keep the surface equation intact? In any eventuality, one will have to change the negative feeling and heal it. Our past actions cannot be judged because they are past. If one learns from them that is wise. The healing can happen when we know what happened, re live it and understand what we did and why.

There is no need to beat ourselves up or regret our actions. All we need to do is analyze our own needs for that moment or period of time. This in itself is the seed of a solution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I am unable to visualize someone who is consumed by hatred. It shakes me up. It is not an intrinsic quality of the soul. I think we all know that.

We could link hatred with karma. We could also link it to a thorough discomfort of being in your own skin which results in comparisons..and we invariably find a lack within. There could be a possibility of extreme jealousy, of feeling small and worthless in comparison with “better” people. More successful people. More passionate and driven people. More popular people.

But the lengths humans can go to, to appease themselves and calm their hatred inspired rage and vendetta can be very unsettling and disturbing.

It would be far too simplistic to say that everything in life should be “hunky dory” and harmonious all the time. If that were the case, we would be a group of saints on the earth.

We are here definitely to experience the positivity’s and negativities, the pluses and minuses of life. And learn from them. But nothing is worth causing self destruction through the kind of negativity that can be created by hatred. It is the fire that burns and destroys like nothing else does.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The healing properties that we have within us are a reality. There are so many ways to cure one’s bodily ailments if we can cure our mental ailments. You know, the latter is the place where it starts happening….

Diseases or “dis ease”s are merely the discomfort that arises from leading a life of unawareness and ignorance. From these emerge all our wrong patterns of thinking and living. And these, in turn, affect our health.

I notice that when people have bonded, laughed and even cried together, there is much joy in the heart, the joy of sharing and caring. The reverse can be painful. The environment, the people, the circumstances are all a part of our karmic experiences and how we respond determines our levels of ignorance and awareness.

Just taking our awareness to those parts of us which are hurting and understanding the reasons for the hurt can heal them. Most important, accepting responsibility for everything that happens to us.

Requires basic knowledge and understanding and we can be on our way to healing ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Constant habit


When we are depressed and angry with the world, we tend to go from bad to worse in our mental condition. Anger only dissipates your energy up to a level where you lose your ability to think straight, let alone heal yourself. And in this mode, you tend to become your own worst enemy.

This situation requires the ability to analyze the core issue of the anger because, as I have experienced it, anger is always self directed…for what could have happened but didn’t, for the wrong choices made, for lost opportunities, for a lack of love, for loneliness, for feeling rejection, depression…and more.

It is not easy to turn inwards. The mind only wants to blame and blame everyone and everything but the self.

And then, we seek recourse to prayer. Even after, we often wait for a change to HAPPEN rather than MAKE it happen. We need help.

A wonderful way to overcome this mode : just ask yourself..

Why am I angry?

Who am I angry with?

Why am I angry with that person or situation?

Did I contribute to it in any way?

Answer all these questions truthfully to yourself and you will find that most of the time, you failed to look within to find the actual issue. That you had the power to understand and let go but you held on.

Making a constant habit of this kind of clinical analysis can help you in cultivating a calm persona.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Have you felt that in times of sadness, angels hover around you? These are people in your life who watch over you, worry about your well being and often try to illuminate your path when they see you passing through a dark patch.

Sometimes, their value is felt only after they are gone. Because while they are around, we tend to take them for granted. Not often are we in a mood to give them a listening ear.

A matter of karma, I guess. I still remember the gujrati saying which means, wisdom comes only from others, not your own people. Like you prefer the food in someone else’s home. Taking home food for granted and bored with the same flavor. I guess people also come with the same old flavor which goes out of taste.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Intelligence


I watch people and their priorities, their values and now, after I.Q. and E.Q., have coined a new one…S.I.Q., the Sensitive Intelligence Quotient. To be intelligent is great. But to disregard the feelings of others and show your intelligence may not be a great asset.

I recently came upon such a case of two friends. One, being emotional, fell out with a common acquaintance. The other, not understanding why, continued not only to support that person but openly flaunted her liking. This is bound to have a very logically emotional outcome, that of the distancing of the two friends.

Could the second friend have used the S.I.Q here? I definitely think so. She could have supported the third person quietly and understanding the emotions of her friend and respecting them.

I find that in life, we lack this sensitivity towards even close people. Does it show a lack of love? Or a very active ego that does not see beyond? Is it judging others? ….

I feel sad to see that where there could have been love, closeness, being there for each other, one person’s thoughtlessness can strain a relationship, sometimes, even to a point of “no return”. Each of us needs to examine whether we have done this at one time or another. And correct ourselves in the interest of a long term relationship. And for the sake of the love shared earlier. Nothing is worth giving up close relationships for like parents, siblings, and friends.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is not easy to deal with a desire for perfection in everything. You invariably deal with people who are anything but that. To deal with people when you are trying to achieve perfection and a certain standard in everything you do, you had better not rely on them completely unless you want to get stressed out and even fall ill.

Perfectionists have little patience with mediocrity. But to expect your standard of work from others is also foolish. In fact, it is wiser to bring down your standards a peg or two. Otherwise, you are likely to get into serious conflict with such people. To move forward, you might have to deal with less than efficient people and work.

Unfortunately, there are paid officials in many places who do not have the interest or ambition to grow and learn. Because they do not observe. And because they have no pride in their work.

And this gives rise to much frustration in perfectionists. I have seen people leave jobs, sack employees because of this. But they suffer for it.

So, simply put, be protective about your health, chill and relax a little. Everything will get done in time. I am often told that life should also be enjoyed. And I agree….so, learn to grin and bear in general.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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