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Compassion


If you look back at your life events, you will always find some people that you have had issues with. Some you forgive and from some you seek forgiveness. And you also forgive yourself for hurting people and mistakes made.

However, I wish it were that simple! Actually, it IS that simple to my mind. But not so to other people. In everyone’s life, there are some people who refuse to forgive. Hmmm… out of our control, right? But how do we react to this non forgiveness? Arrogantly? Humbly? Aggressively? With compassion and understanding?

You might say, “But it is not about me”. But really speaking, it IS about you, too, because you were a party to the interaction.

It is interesting to see how such incidents confront you and how you need to make peace with them, at least from your side. You are not responsible for the emotions or decisions of others. You can only clean up your slate. And that’s what should be done. When things and people stop affecting you is when you are on your way to real freedom.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Regressive


A very positive way to look at life and its unfolding. The dice turns regularly even in a dice game. But the two situations are so different!

The dice game is happening for a while only and on the outside. Externally. Life situations have each of us at the core. It is very difficult to externalize situations as if they are happening to someone else. We can smile sportingly if we lose a game like Ludo or Snakes & Ladders and move on. But can we equally smile away losing in real life circumstances? Failure becomes the repeated theme of our minds. And moving on a completely unavailable option to the mind at that point.

What this post says is to understand that every throw of the dice in life, whether “1” or “6” is designed to teach something. And a lesson learnt is certainly a step forward.

When people talk of being “regressive”, it only means lessons are unlearnt and repeated negative patterns established.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we make attempts with another human being to let bygones be bygones but receive no reply from there, what does it mean? And I am not referring to crimes, just small, ego driven differences..

Growing up, I was always taught that whatever the business with another person, it is never over until it is over: forgiveness from both sides.

I feel differently now. During your journey, it is only you who can work on yourself. Only you can forgive and forget, and become immune and neutral for your own sake. Of course, if both people can understand and forgive, nothing like it! But, you are not responsible for anyone’s growth but your own. Cleansing your own energies is your priority. Your choices and freedom of will are confined only to you. You cannot bring any change in anyone else unless they do so out of their own free will.

So many belief systems…so many wrong patterns of thinking! And we don’t learn any better. We wait for the other person to change….just a case of our ignorant ego that doesn’t allow sense to dawn.

So, there is just one, simple mantra if you have tried but not succeeded in building the bridge: LET GO….from thoughts because thoughts form memories and we store memories instead of letting go.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Intentions


To respond with responsibility! Two key words here: “response” and “responsibility”. If we are responsible and act with responsibility, we will respond to everything. They go hand in hand with our maturity levels also. And maturity means well thought out action inspired by good intentions and in the best interest of all. Through a positive and a balanced mind. See the connection?

But here, we must have a strong faith in our core strength. Only then will responses become elevated, come from our higher selves and a high benchmark of positivity.

We are creating ourselves everyday…in fact, each minute. If we are reacting, we are getting influenced by other energies around us which cloud our energies. Maybe, then, we end up with several mental issues because we have given in to the decision of others. But that is not YOU. That is not YOUR inner core. Therefore, it is important to understand whether others create who you are or YOU create who you are.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we go out to a restaurant, there is a huge menu we choose from. These are items we love and want to indulge in. But they are not necessarily good for our health. We still bypass that thought and make the choice. We tell ourselves, it is only for that meal. So, we end up eating that food and develop indigestion or food poisoning.

Now, similarly, when damaging feelings enter us, we again must choose either to let them in and adopt them as ours or let them go immediately as being wrong for us. Knowing that this may start a pattern, we still accept these feelings because we want to retaliate.

The main cause is that we have not been able to separate ourselves from our egos. So, who gets hurt? Who wants to retaliate? It is the ego. If we learn to make a choice against the ego and in favor of ourselves, we can avert any illness of the mind.

If you want freedom from the ego, the most effective way is to simply acknowledge the undesirable thoughts and emotions that came in and the actions they set off. To say, “I was wrong” is really liberating. To say, “I am sorry” and MEAN it is even more liberating. It just clears the air within us and between two people also. Not that you mean to, but this rattles the opposite person and generally forces him or her to introspect.

Ultimately, our purpose is to work with love, not anger, resentment, feared or hatred isn’t it?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Keep the pollution away. And I don’t mean only environmental pollution. That is an obvious fact. There are other forms. For example, what a polluted mind can do is not apparent even when our own mind does it. We should be so much aware, actually, that even if a polluted thought enters your mind, you ask for forgiveness immediately. Excessive? Not at all!

You will notice that we all have formulated very “artful” ways of overlooking the pollution in our minds. Take humor. One always knew of laughter being the best medicine, as avid Readers’ Digest readers believed laughter to be. But how much dislike and aversion can humor be laced with is something we all have seen many a time. Right? In fact, every night, at bedtime, if you recap every detailed thought, word and deed honestly to yourself, some pollution will be visible. Some negative thought about something, someone…even you. (You are equally important, if not more). Or, some emotions that lashed out uncontrollably because someone else was at fault and “did that to you”…when you know that no one can do anything to you unless you permit it…and some acts also that we try to palm off on some incident or people , acts that we are not really proud of.

One way to reduce this pollution is to keep the mind outside of you. Examine it minutely and see what thinks is and what it says to you. And take the positive in and keep the rest out. With a little practice, you will see a difference. Once you know you can do this successfully, you will want to do this exercise again and again like a child because you will start feeling so good about yourself that you will never want to regress to that pollution stage again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Personalities


I just had to write on the post below. I don’t think we even KNOW how much in fear we live, in the name of love. We cling on to our “near and dear” in the name of caring, sharing, unity etc. Parents claim to love children. Children claim equally to love their parents. Friends claim to love each other. But often, we see so many power games being played. The more rampant the ego, the more power play we see. Powerful or powerless? In control or controlled?

We readily compromise our personalities, our choices, swallow our tears when hurt , smile when we want to scream foul play or blue murder….haven’t we seen enough misery in “families” , in fact, in most groups? …and in the bargain, we lose ourselves trying to procure a bit of love, to feel wanted. We don’t realize we go along with the wrong, the unjust, even the callous because we want to feel good in being a part of people, and then we stop thinking. We just have to toe the line. And we do…all the time. It is easy. Exercising the right choice and thinking for ourselves may set us apart …that is scary, to say the least.

Exactly as the post says. We are so afraid of “losing” others that the fear of loneliness results in our opting to lose ourselves instead for a temporary happy feeling.

How heavy a price is this for our soul! Our journey is alone. We are like passengers on a train who meet for a while and disembark when we reach our destination. I have never seen any passenger telling another to go home with them and live and die together. Have you?

But we know of people who had a mission and who had the courage to forgo many an impediment to retrieve their inner core and energy from the people, places and events to which they had lost it. So don’t be afraid to lose people, be afraid of losing yourself.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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