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Archive for the ‘awareness’ Category

Analysis


All these years of my practice have taught me that the one single enemy within is insecurity. It is like the nucleus of an amoeba. Everything undesirable emerges from it.

I can be insecure about innumerable things. Starting at birth, with my environment. Maybe, I was not a wanted child. The family never accepted me. Maybe, I grew up in isolation…a neglected child. Could be my family was financially not sound and I had to pinch pennies….and circumstances like this….

People seldom realize what has transpired in the lives of individuals they meet or know, and how and why they have become the way they are today…

Character and personality are not traits only from one life. We have multiple personalities living within us. Kids who display certain qualities don’t do it coincidentally. There is always a good reason.

So, insecurities build up from childhood, not only because of incidents that happen in this life but also those from other lives that we are here to neutralize.

An analysis of these insecurities will bring up effects like anger, complexes, diffidence, lack of self worth, envy , jealousy etc.

In fact, insecurities are directly proportionate to the self image. Feeling good and worthwhile is important to survival. And self image is generally based on the illusory self and therefore, cannot sustain itself, as all illusions cannot and do not.

So, try the antidote to insecurity. Strip away the surface layers of reactions one by one. Realize the power of love as being able to achieve miracles and discard anything that your soul within revolts at. Listen to the voice of the soul from within and understand what the Universe tells you about your life and how to live it. Gradually, you will succeed in dropping all insecurity, the biggest being that of the inevitability of death.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I wish we could “see” ourselves growing up. And stop ourselves each time we were getting conditioned by thoughts and ideologies that would never work later in life…so much of what we imbibe along the way is not our own. We have been indoctrinated with belief systems that are not personally experience based. So, they may not fit the bill. As grownups, therefore, we end up unlearning some, relearning some and creating some new ones.

The mistake we make is not stopping to re examine our thought processes often enough. We carry on living according to our obsolete thinking and wonder why we are not feeling light and happy.

So, recreate yourself time and time again to feel the pulse of life. Live life to the fullest. Release yourself from old pains, and go forward light hearted and adventurous into the exciting unknown.

 Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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With most people, I see a struggle in the understanding of the “forgive and forget” principle. First, it seems hard, even impossible to forgive someone who has hurt you. Second, there seems to be an issue about erasing those memories. Somewhere within, when we are broken, we suffer and automatically, the grouse is with the person who caused the grief, the pain. Naturally, no one wants pain.

But it is equally true that without pain, growth is a distant dream. If we did not know what the opposite of light is, we would not recognize light. A vision impaired has no way of seeing day and night. Similarly, symbolically, despite having eyes, we either can’t, don’t or refuse to “see”. But we need to see. To see what the truth is about why the pain.

See what? The root cause of the pain. Our pain is due to our own inability to tolerate the darkness in others. And that is natural because, basically, we are beings of light. But that darkness is not only in others but reflected within us, too. And when this happens, the cognizance of this inner darkness decreases our tolerance levels of ourselves. That gets reflected in the opposite person. And the pain keeps adding on.

Imagine, if we refused to take the pain within us. What would happen? It would bounce off you and be returned to the sender. But we don’t know how to do that. Or, the little devil sitting inside, the ego, won’t let us. So, we deliberately start taking hurtful actions in retaliation. Any escalation takes two people. Like you need two hands to clap. You can choose not to clap.

So, pain is a choice we make. The pain of rejection, hate, jealousy, revenge, injustice, betrayal, cruelty etc. These are powerful energies and, when directed towards anyone, would take a very strong person to deflect them…a person who makes a conscious choice to remain untouched by these energies.

I cannot express in words how elevating this exercise can be and how beautifully energizing.

Even if one does not want to go deep into this, a simple thumb rule to follow is to block negative energy by giving it a positive connotation. And find it in your heart to feel sad for those who are still living in the low vibration field. You will see then it becomes easier to forgive. You will also decide that such memories are also not worth keeping.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we make attempts with another human being to let bygones be bygones but receive no reply from there, what does it mean? And I am not referring to crimes, just small, ego driven differences..

Growing up, I was always taught that whatever the business with another person, it is never over until it is over: forgiveness from both sides.

I feel differently now. During your journey, it is only you who can work on yourself. Only you can forgive and forget, and become immune and neutral for your own sake. Of course, if both people can understand and forgive, nothing like it! But, you are not responsible for anyone’s growth but your own. Cleansing your own energies is your priority. Your choices and freedom of will are confined only to you. You cannot bring any change in anyone else unless they do so out of their own free will.

So many belief systems…so many wrong patterns of thinking! And we don’t learn any better. We wait for the other person to change….just a case of our ignorant ego that doesn’t allow sense to dawn.

So, there is just one, simple mantra if you have tried but not succeeded in building the bridge: LET GO….from thoughts because thoughts form memories and we store memories instead of letting go.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Maturity


Maturity! A very vaguely understood, perhaps misunderstood condition. Generally, we refer to maturity when we actually speak of people aging. “Maturity” seems to be used as a synonym for aging. Frankly, it is only the body aging and so, all aged people need not be accused of being mature.

Maturity is an inner process of growth. It means to take complete ownership of the self and that, too, with responsibility. Very often, we remark about people’s immature behavior or immature words. Both project a certain lack of growth.

Maturity has no direct connection with life experiences. But, it has everything to do with personal responses to those experiences.

There are times when you must give in and times when you must hold back. To understand when to exercise such a choice effectively is a part of being mature, to HANDLE yourself during situations, to be calm, to be proactive and aiming to cause least damage while acting upon a well thought out plan.

Maturity is to act wisely and bring a wholesome harmony into an erstwhile tense situation.

That is why impulsiveness is often not considered to be maturity. Not enough thought there! It is also often mistaken for “spontaneity” which, again, is not a synonym. “Impulsive” is judged as “childish”. Yet, Osho says that to be childlike is to reclaim your innocence which leaves you desire less. He calls this state as maturity. Where you don’t really NEED anything. You are happy anywhere, any time and no situation have the power to rob you of your peaceful state of being.

In maturity, we feel light and happy all the time. Because we have understood the transient nature of this world. That everything that has a beginning must have an end and that we don’t have control of this cycle until we are mature enough to realize that we are all Buddha’s. We have understood that, apparently unobtrusively, we are flowing away with time and each time we make long term plans, God has a good laugh at our expense.

It is when this happens that maturity has dawned and ignorance has lost finally!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In this country, it is no surprise that people are so divided. Their individual conditioning is not based on a common yardsticks. Every religion has a separate rules book and rituals. And although we may link all religions to one source, is it so simple?

The environment in a Christian home, a Hindu home and a Muslim home will always have different energies. Energies are so subtle that they can be felt even if one is not very sensitive. The thoughts, the way of speaking, actions, cultural orientation etc.

I speak of religion as a priority because our societies are formed around religions…religious sects and cults. All of these claim to teach tolerance, acceptance and love but strangely enough, they succeed in doing just the opposite. The evidence is staring at us each day. Groupism on belief systems taught and practiced because of having a common teacher or Guru is seen everywhere. Nothing wrong so far. You have to draw inspiration from some elevated platform.

The problem arises when each group thinks they are the best and they are right in their beliefs. Therefore, by default, the others may not be so right. How can they be when there is only one type of “right” per group? According to them, of course. This attitude magnifies the differences and so, similarities recede into the background when actually, these are the ones that bind people together.

We need knowledge beyond the “taught” knowledge and that can only come through personal practice and experience by exposure to all kinds of people and their ways of thinking and doing things. And by putting in work on yourself consistently. No guru or teacher can experience anything on your behalf. They can guide you in the right direction though.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Challenges


I always say expectations, like comparisons, can turn out to be odious. But my experience has shown that presumptions are a shade worse because they anticipate an experience that may or may not happen.

So, what happens here? Suppose there is something I need to do. That action will definitely have a consequence like all actions do. But, because I might be having several mindsets or belief systems, I start to imagine the consequences of that act before the act itself is done. Actually, the consequence may have played out very differently in reality. But I don’t give it a chance. I want just the desired result of that act.

This is a typical case of wanting to control your environment. And playing out the consequences in your mind gives you some comfort, perhaps, that you will manage to achieve somewhat the desired result. A probability only. Not a certainty.

So many times, I have heard the line “if I do this that will happen.” “And happen for sure” is added. An over-the-top reaction of this kind may demonstrate an innate fear. Fear of something being taken away from you or letting things go from your hands into an unknown and non confirmative space which you are uncomfortable with. . People who steer actions with careful rigidity might be prone to such thought processes.

Actually, these are blocks which prevent expansive experiences. Like, I take a flight everywhere and hence, miss out on the beautiful countryside which I would have experienced had I motored up to my destination. But because I don’t know the roads and might have an accident, it is safe to take a flight.

So, I am already anticipating an accident that may or may not happen. Presumption that an aircraft is safer!! I have no way of knowing it IS safe, before I fly out. A presumption again!

Friends, we really miss out on so much of life by controlling our environment. And if we have family around us, we end up doing the same to them as well. I understand that everyone wants to be safe and away from harm. But to close yourself on the basis of presumptions is also not a healthy trait or practice.

Later, as adults, you see people who grow up in such conditions shrinking their minds to respond more rigidly than freely. Challenges are very essential for out -of -the – box thinking and living.

So, try new environments even for your children. Challenge them and observe their responses. Life is the biggest teacher. If you grow, the environment and people around you also grow.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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