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Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category

Self image


One of the biggest fears we humans seem to have is to be proven wrong. We go to any lengths to give excuses, explanations and justify ourselves. It is a malady! We are humans after all, and what is wrong in saying, “I was wrong?” It clears the air between two people if you admit the truth, that of being wrong.

But no! We will severe the connection itself if we have to, but will not confess. To say “I am wrong” requires guts and courage. You feel people will judge you and think negatively about you. But on the contrary, you will be respected for stating your truth because very rarely do people come out with simple, straight forward admissions of this kind.

If you lie to yourself, try to do a cover up of your mistake, people know what you are doing. I had a teacher in school who, if she didn’t know an answer to a student’s question, simply said that she didn’t know but would find out the answer and tell him. She was one of the most highly respected teachers, for her honesty and simplicity.

It is such a burden to carry and such a false self image! What’s the point? It can only cause stress. And you find yourself shying away from people for not having the courage to look at them in the eye. Not a single winning point there, right then why?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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At the right time, you meet some right people who , by their words and good energy, uplift you enough so that you move away from people whose energy tended to pull you down.

Someone I met told me, ” keep praying when you need answers and they will come”. So true ! Also, Keep a vigil on your thoughts as they come in, recognise them for what kind they are and then decide if you still want to give them shelter or send them away.

I got into the habit of doing one guided meditation every night and then switched on my 8 hour “Om” chant to sleep. It has worked like magic . Most times, there is calm and you don’t get either offended or affected by the negatives around you. As a bonus, you start building bridges with people who have meant something to you and are perhaps distanced.

There are three stages :

First, you react to negativity because it is also present in you. The law of resonance.

Second, you work on yourself, still know it is happening, but start to get immune to it. The percentage within you reduces.

Thirdly, you now learn to smile at what you see and it doesn’t affect you anymore.

A little crude but an apt example is when I was always counselled that if dogs barked on the streets, would you bark back ? In a manner of speaking, teaching non retaliation. Because until you retaliate, you are not cleansed yet.

How much there is to do and how little time !

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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“Can love be measured by the hours in the day?” This line from the song from the movie “Love Story” is one of the most beautiful lines I have heard. Can love be measured, period? What is its measure, in any relationship?

Is it the amount of time spent together? Is it the number of gifts exchanged the quality of the gifts? Maybe, branded gifts as a measure of love? Or, daily calls? … I don’t know. All these seem to be very important today.

I wonder if empty hands but a heart full of love would suffice? Would it show in the warmth of affection in my eyes? In my smile that lights up my face? In my bear hug greeting in my travelling miles to be with someone on a special day. In the pain I feel ….or if my day starts and ends with someone.

I wonder at how people judge you and consider you fit for their friendship or love. What would be that criteria?

I wonder how people measure love in its many forms. How many forms do they see? How many are they able to see? And how do they interpret what they see.

I wonder…….all the time…. why there is no common benchmark for love which can sustain the peace and togetherness on this earth.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Enough


How much is “enough”? Growing up, we determined its extent by the tone and body language of our parents. Even by the accent on particular letters of the word. Like, when they said, “enough!” the danger light flashed bright and we retreated to our rooms immediately. If they said, ” enough is enough now”, that was a warning signal not to stretch things too far.

We used to have to take our cues from them. There was strict discipline. Not only that, our elder siblings became unrecognizable when they donned the mantle of our parents while the parents were traveling. They turned Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde into nonfiction and a total reality.

Ah! Those were the days when even discipline did not keep us from smiling happily and basking in the love of family. Our parents were not friends as such. We had our siblings for that. But we ate together, sang and played bridge and card games together, holidayed together with our parents, every summer holiday without fail. Wherever we went, we distributed all the chores among us and it was the height of pleasure to do them amidst mischievous chatter only because we were all together.

On other holidays, it would be dormitory style living with cousins , climbing trees, plucking mangoes and tamarinds off the trees in the compound, playing hide and seek all day long with our elders running after us to get us to sit still for meals and snacks.

Rustic living but so, so beautiful and close to nature! There were no super expensive holidays to Europe and Switzerland. These were hardly any substitutes for the laughter and fun filled days, full of love and sharing. Our hearts were full, pity that this generation will never see such days. What it used to be, finding pleasure in the simple things of life.

Today, what is enough? Going to Europe and Switzerland is not enough. Having the best of cars and gadgets is not enough. Holidays with family are not enough. Being content with “enough” of everything is not “enough”. Because, what IS enough? Is your “enough” like mine or better than mine? Simpler than

Mine or more complicated than mine?

Can I say “enough” today and get away with it? Can I say, “enough is enough” and not is put into a dog house for a sizeable chunk of time?

And what IS enough? I always felt that like “good, better, best”, there ought to be categories of “enough”, too.

Like, enough, enougher and enoughest.

See! At least, you can smile. And that is enough.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Facts of life


It is so important to understand a few basic facts of life. One of THE most important ones is that “I” may be extremely important to “ME” but not necessarily to others from where one is watching. So often, this ignorance becomes a cause of great emotional and mental suffering.

It is good to learn to say, “It is okay” and bless everyone. In a world of time and space, we tend to measure distances with our emotions. Emotions don’t know how to rationalize or see things clearly.

I have realized that distance and closeness are mere illusory concepts. Who is close and who is distant? And what is the measure? The measure is once more, nothing but our expectations. The other person may not even remotely be thinking of you while you agonize over how close or how distant or why close or why distant. Sounds a little foolish but we tend to do this a lot.

Whether family or friends or acquaintances, unless you need to measure the physical distance, and you can do that by adjusting your spectacles, all “distance” is in our heads.

We also feel that someone who has not communicated for a long time has “gone away” from us. Not true. Getting involved in your life doesn’t mean you don’t care or that others don’t care.

There are many ways of thinking and understanding. The one thing that works is living contentedly with you. People know you are there. You know people are there. You have your priorities. They have theirs. The heart is the biggest connection. If that continues, you are okay.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we talk of memory, we perhaps refer to the mind in general. The soul memory actually gets transferred from one lifetime to another and is stored as cellular memory. If the memories are painful , they will manifest in the body sooner or later if something is not done to take away the pain . It is like a thorn in your foot which , if deep, gets septic and the pain radiates well beyond the location of the thorn .

It seems like a Herculean task if not an impossible one, to heal the cells by healing the memories. Because emotional pain also radiates out as compounded pain with one major negative emotion finding allied emotions joining in. Like, anger brings frustration and often , hopelessness with it.

One beautiful method is through breath. Breathing exercises are vital to health. Otherwise lungs can get effectively choked due to intense emotions. They can’t breathe in life under these conditions.

So, it pays to remember each time we practice negativity, where the memories are going to be stored and how important it is to clean up the toxicity before it attacks the mind body complex.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Fickle mindedness and unreliability are two extremely undesirable traits in a human being. Many allied vices stem from these. Firstly, these people are not true to anyone, not even themselves. Their pretence levels are very high. Probably masters of the game. Secondly, they evidently live for themselves, whimsical and undependable. Lacking depth, maybe, and living on the surface. Changing their minds like they would change clothes, but very sweet spoken and could fool anyone except those discerning few.

I often hear people say such people are happier because they don’t succumb easily to feelings of sadness, helplessness, frustration etc. Possible, if they think only of themselves most of the time, but happier? I don’t know about that.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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