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Archive for February, 2020


From small excuses to big lies is a journey in darkness with many pitfalls and no one to light a candle. Everyone makes excuses once in a while. The danger is when these excuses become frequent and become lies because the formula works each time!

But the difference between lies and truth is a big one. Truth is clear and you live by it. Lies however, need a hiding place. Truth is never “found out”. Lies ARE Truth, even if harsh, is respected. Lies are not.

So, we must bring in more awareness into ourselves and try and clean up our act, our habits which don’t really serve us in the long run, and may ruin our relationships as well.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Truth


Truth is often unpalatable. Reality is often unacceptable. But facts don’t change. As you move through life, equations change, just like people playing different characters in a play. And the one thing you cannot afford to do is get wedded to one role. Otherwise, you cannot play another role effectively. Though you always remember the ones you played to the hilt.

In life, therefore, compartmentalization is of prime importance and leaving memories behind, too. We hold onto beautiful memories for dear life and lament on what has changed. But we have to allow for the evolution of everything and everyone. Not everyone will stay with you. Not everyone will care for you the way you want them to. And the opposite is also true.

But you know what? It is ok. There are many pluses in life and gratitude for this is imminent. You let go what doesn’t work and what doesn’t work is what gives you constant pain. What deprives you of your peace and happiness?

How many times do we cut our losses and make peace with ourselves?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I know why people are known by the friends they keep. These days, when the influence of families is diluted, the friends constitute the “carefully chosen “family, a family where you can have all the freedom to take a path going straight to hell. (Metaphorically speaking, of course). As it is fashionably stated today, you can’t choose your natural family. You can only tolerate them and sometimes, not even that.

I see many “close” friends meeting many nights a week to celebrate their “friendship” with alcohol, weed, cocaine etc. “Carefully chosen family”, did I say? That’s right. I did say that.

But then, our generation grew up with family being friends, too. This two in one package was unbeatable. Having fun with family was going on picnics with parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles , doing train journeys with specially packed Tiffin boxes which was the most exciting meal ever , playing cards during the journey and generally having a whale of a time. Where we felt loved and protected. Where there was zero tolerance for any disrespect, disobedience or rudeness of any kind, and of any “friend” who taught you to stray from family norms into undesirable habits and addictions. Friends were supposed to be those who dragged you away from any dubious people and habits around you , in case you strayed. THAT was true friendship.

Different times, different perspectives! But, the consequences of lifestyles will be seen in similar patterns. That doesn’t change. It is not only what YOU feel but how others see you; too, that brings the consequences. Too much sun will burn your skin. Too much darkness and you won’t be able to bear the sun. Too much freedom and you might wish you had been balanced.

Life has to be lived with love, humility, and yes, sacrifice, too. This is true freedom for the soul because it comes into this world encased in a body. These are essential requirements.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Belief systems


Phrases like “generally speaking” and “by and large” should be generally avoided. These are such a severe conditioning that anything out of these lists can be pretty hard to take.

From a young age, our minds are indoctrinated with these completely impractical generalities unwritten norms which don’t work for everyone. There is no “one size fits all” in life. And we have and continue to see this. Writing verse and facing life are two different things. Idealism and reality don’t even come close sometimes. And yet, our belief systems, even our pattern of loving people is often based on a “should” that comes out of a generality.

“I should do this because he is my dad or she is my mom”. Should? Why? Who wrote the rules book? “Should” doesn’t come from the heart. It is inspired by a motive.

…but still, we carry on and end up confusing others and ourselves. Simple answer! Do what comes straight from your heart individually not generally. And if the heart itself is blocked, see a therapist. But don’t teach too many generalities, because they don’t apply in many cases because people are different. Their thought processes ate different. Their responses are different.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Love consistent


If you are able to return love for indifference, you have made it in life. The most difficult thing to do strangers doesn’t really come into this category. The hurt happens only when you face indifference from those who matter to you.

The important thing to know is that, many a time, the indifference you see may be a put on for concealing hurt. You may not know this if you find an accomplished actor opposite you. But even if you miss that, your policy of giving love consistently should make you peaceful and content from your side.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Sometimes, those who seem to be all sorted and who seem to have a good handle on their lives are pretty vulnerable in many ways, though they will never show it. It takes a lot for them to cry. These are people who are the givers in families and extremely loyal and protective.

No one in those families should ever make the mistake of taking them granted. In fact, they should support them, love them a lot and even worry about them because they are the solid core of family unity and a tremendous asset to parents and siblings.

But unity does not lie on one person only. It is a collective responsibility. And each member owes it to the collective space they belong to.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I find the reason why most of us are not always balanced in head and heart is, the heart combines with our attachment and feelings, not letting in enough intellect. After all, we feel we can’t love with our head. The heart is the Known organ of love.

But this does not work out well in practice many a time. Somewhere, in our love come the ideas, of space. And that is the intellect speaking. We can energetically cross over easily to the other people and invade their energy space. And then that love is no longer love but a bit of an obsession which we don’t always realize. But the people in question feel it, rightly or wrongly.

The solution is to refrain from extremities of emotions, in fact, any extremities. And painful as it may be because of your genuine feeling of love, one must withdraw into our own space until better times prevail.

Surekha Kothari                  

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Everything takes time. Like, you fall ill. You rest, and rest and medicate yourself and one fine day, you are fine the same way when you hurt and keep hurting about the same or similar issues over and over again. As if a raw wound is being touched repeatedly. And you cry, you vent, ask why many times over … but nothing changes. And one day, hey presto, you feel enough is enough. You sit up and start moving on. And you feel well again.

Life will always make us imbalanced because our reactions to it are imbalanced. But to get up, hopefully sooner than later, and move on, is the only solution. People won’t change. Situations may take time to change. But we don’t have to keep wallowing till they do.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The heart gets weary for sure, trying to understand people, their actions, situations, in fact, everything but oneself. Until one day, you don’t want to understand anything anymore. After all, all the whys can take you on the merry go round until vertigo strikes you. And by the time you feel you have understood somewhat, things change again.

The futility of understanding! Rocks your world knocks you down and you gain little! And suffer a lot! Yes, the heart does get very weary. That’s probably why people just live on the surface.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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One of the most beautiful interpretations of karma was sent to me recently. Being in Hindi, I am posting the English version here.

Translation:

The eyes saw a fruit on a tree. They desired the fruit. But because the eyes could only see, the feet walked to the tree. Now since the feet could not pluck the fruit, the hands went up to pluck it, the mouth ate it and the stomach digested it.

Now, let’s see. The one that saw the fruit couldn’t go. The one that went didn’t pluck. The one that plucked didn’t eat. The one that ate couldn’t keep it because the stomach took over.

When the gardener saw this, he beat up the person with a stick on his back, whereas, the back had not been at fault at all. But when the back became black and blue, the eyes shed the tears because the eyes were the ones that had first spotted the fruit.

This is karma.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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