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Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category


I have been discussing with my group about how marriages fall apart “suddenly” after 25 years and more. And I do believe that nothing happens suddenly. It is generally a long road fraught with many incompatibilities and underlying stress which is not spoken about by one or the other spouse to keep the peace in the house. One, big reason!

I think that under the obvious pattern of bitterness and blame lies a need for understanding why the distancing happens. We don’t even know when and how it starts; with a minor argument escalating into a minor war or small misunderstandings or a lack of friendship. Too much tendency to control; not enough respect? Trying to change each other; each trying to prevail over the other? Or simply not the marrying kind but forced to marry to please parents.

I feel a little disgusted when I hear parents telling their son to go ahead and be a man. In short, have a good time as long as you return to your wife. I asked one such mother, “suppose the woman you encouraged your son to philander with was YOUR daughter? The answer was so predictable. Aha! As long as it is not your daughter; doesn’t matter that the other girls are also someone’s daughters.

I know it is an old fashioned concept in the promiscuous society today. What I mean is, it is the moms who actually encourage their sons into these habits many a time.

But, coming back to breaking relationships, the now terribly obsolete theory of marriages surviving because of kids binding their parents together is more or less nonexistent.

Such sentiments have gone, never to return. Trying to put parents together is a counselor’s job. And going to a therapist is a social stigma, not to be spoken about. Many times, the husband doesn’t think HE needs it. Exactly like he doesn’t want to see a doctor when they only have daughters because it is always the woman’s fault that it is so yet; one more reason for a marriage in trouble.

And many of the reasons I have mentioned create a chain and relationships fray and fray and fray, until something just snaps one day. We call it “sudden” but is it really so sudden?

This is exactly like saying cancer happened overnight. No. It just showed up as a body manifestation overnight. It was building up for years like the lava of an active volcano.

Much introspection needed. Much conscious thought needed. Much maturity and intelligence needed.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Setting examples! The common belief is that parents and elders should set examples to their children to follow. From generation to generation, this hasn’t changed. And while that is true, many parents have to also face a lot of flak and criticism for not coming up to the mark by setting adequate examples worthy of being emulated.

In all of this, I often wonder! Are we setting good examples for ourselves first? Or is it that counseling and advising others on how to live life is easier? For sure, in most cases.

So, how do I appear to me be the moot questioned because it is only that perception which can be changed if we don’t look good to ourselves? We can’t mute that inner voice that speaks to us like we can mute a chat group with a click today.

So, it is most worthwhile to start improving our image in our own eyes and take our own advice, which we generally give others. Be your own example and let others emulate it if they so wish.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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How many things in life can we laugh about? How many things do we take in our stride? And how many times do we get affected?

If you can laugh about things which hurt earlier, then you are more evolved because such people are lighter in energy and a little detached as well.

If you are taking things in your stride, then you have learnt to balance your emotions out. And you have learnt when and where to use them.

And if you get affected by things, then you have not learnt your lessons well. It is always in the moment of imbalance that we are dominated by our emotions. You are still too dependent on what is outside of you. And the external is not always dependable whereas you are looking for support and encouragement from there only. Shoulders may be taken away. Rugs can be pulled from under your feet.

In all this, you can only depend on yourself and your wisdom in living, dealing with people and situations. Just like no one can attend school as a proxy for you to attain the knowledge, no one can improve your life but yourself.

Men may come and men may go,

But “I” go on forever.

So, if “I” go on forever, where lies the need to lean on an impermanent, destructible world?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I have realized that in the name of close relationships, we give compassion but forget to reserve some of it for ourselves. And when that happens, what comes to us is criticism. Criticism from others turns into self criticism and soon, you start feeling you are not good enough. You allow people to do this to you. Because the more you give, the more they take and the more you get taken for granted.

Someone said to me that you must be more clinical in life instead of going overboard for anyone. I would have argued a few years ago. Today, I see the wisdom of the statement.

Be calm, clinical and clever; the 3 c’s which must rule relationships today.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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We often use “knowledge” and “wisdom” as synonyms, taking it as natural. That people who have one have the other. But it does not quite work that way.

Acquiring knowledge helps you make a better living for yourself as medicine to a doctor’s profession. Of course, as they say, knowledge is never wasted. So, an open mind works like a sponge, imbibing knowledge from anything and anyone and tucking it away for use during a rainy day. You can literally become a multi tasker.

But it is not knowledge but the dawn of wisdom that enhances the quality of your life. You make a better life by being wise because the implications of having wisdom are many.

In wisdom, you become balanced. You know when to speak and when not to, when to act and when not to. In wisdom, your vision expands to incorporate others into your circle of warmth and caring. Also in wisdom, you become compassionate and kind and learn to accept what you cannot change.

You also shun the qualities you don’t want instead of shunning the people possessing those qualities. You become simple, straightforward and honest and learn the art AND science of living.

Then, you make a better life. And if this wisdom is complimented with knowledge, then life and living become merged into one wholesome individual.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Wellness is really a state of mind. As a business, we might include a spa, a wellness clinic, gym etc. But the truth is, its core is the mind. When I say that I am not feeling well, I am really saying the mind isn’t feeling good. Even if I have a headache, it started somewhere in the mind.

We need a mind spa, to cleanse the mind regularly. When we go for massages, our body relaxes. When we do liquid diets, we detox and when we do a mind spa, our spirit experiences a sense of freedom.

Everywhere, you have to pay for the services. At spiritual workshops, the difference is, after paying, we are cleaning the nucleus of all ailments. Once the mind is cleansed, every aspect of you is healed. It is the pollution of the mind that creates the cataract kind of opacity that blocks clear vision. It has to undergo surgery. The mind spa provides that surgery. And everything is gloriously illuminated after that.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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