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Archive for August, 2017


With most people, I see a struggle in the understanding of the “forgive and forget” principle. First, it seems hard, even impossible to forgive someone who has hurt you. Second, there seems to be an issue about erasing those memories. Somewhere within, when we are broken, we suffer and automatically, the grouse is with the person who caused the grief, the pain. Naturally, no one wants pain.

But it is equally true that without pain, growth is a distant dream. If we did not know what the opposite of light is, we would not recognize light. A vision impaired has no way of seeing day and night. Similarly, symbolically, despite having eyes, we either can’t, don’t or refuse to “see”. But we need to see. To see what the truth is about why the pain.

See what? The root cause of the pain. Our pain is due to our own inability to tolerate the darkness in others. And that is natural because, basically, we are beings of light. But that darkness is not only in others but reflected within us, too. And when this happens, the cognizance of this inner darkness decreases our tolerance levels of ourselves. That gets reflected in the opposite person. And the pain keeps adding on.

Imagine, if we refused to take the pain within us. What would happen? It would bounce off you and be returned to the sender. But we don’t know how to do that. Or, the little devil sitting inside, the ego, won’t let us. So, we deliberately start taking hurtful actions in retaliation. Any escalation takes two people. Like you need two hands to clap. You can choose not to clap.

So, pain is a choice we make. The pain of rejection, hate, jealousy, revenge, injustice, betrayal, cruelty etc. These are powerful energies and, when directed towards anyone, would take a very strong person to deflect them…a person who makes a conscious choice to remain untouched by these energies.

I cannot express in words how elevating this exercise can be and how beautifully energizing.

Even if one does not want to go deep into this, a simple thumb rule to follow is to block negative energy by giving it a positive connotation. And find it in your heart to feel sad for those who are still living in the low vibration field. You will see then it becomes easier to forgive. You will also decide that such memories are also not worth keeping.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we make attempts with another human being to let bygones be bygones but receive no reply from there, what does it mean? And I am not referring to crimes, just small, ego driven differences..

Growing up, I was always taught that whatever the business with another person, it is never over until it is over: forgiveness from both sides.

I feel differently now. During your journey, it is only you who can work on yourself. Only you can forgive and forget, and become immune and neutral for your own sake. Of course, if both people can understand and forgive, nothing like it! But, you are not responsible for anyone’s growth but your own. Cleansing your own energies is your priority. Your choices and freedom of will are confined only to you. You cannot bring any change in anyone else unless they do so out of their own free will.

So many belief systems…so many wrong patterns of thinking! And we don’t learn any better. We wait for the other person to change….just a case of our ignorant ego that doesn’t allow sense to dawn.

So, there is just one, simple mantra if you have tried but not succeeded in building the bridge: LET GO….from thoughts because thoughts form memories and we store memories instead of letting go.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Maturity


Maturity! A very vaguely understood, perhaps misunderstood condition. Generally, we refer to maturity when we actually speak of people aging. “Maturity” seems to be used as a synonym for aging. Frankly, it is only the body aging and so, all aged people need not be accused of being mature.

Maturity is an inner process of growth. It means to take complete ownership of the self and that, too, with responsibility. Very often, we remark about people’s immature behavior or immature words. Both project a certain lack of growth.

Maturity has no direct connection with life experiences. But, it has everything to do with personal responses to those experiences.

There are times when you must give in and times when you must hold back. To understand when to exercise such a choice effectively is a part of being mature, to HANDLE yourself during situations, to be calm, to be proactive and aiming to cause least damage while acting upon a well thought out plan.

Maturity is to act wisely and bring a wholesome harmony into an erstwhile tense situation.

That is why impulsiveness is often not considered to be maturity. Not enough thought there! It is also often mistaken for “spontaneity” which, again, is not a synonym. “Impulsive” is judged as “childish”. Yet, Osho says that to be childlike is to reclaim your innocence which leaves you desire less. He calls this state as maturity. Where you don’t really NEED anything. You are happy anywhere, any time and no situation have the power to rob you of your peaceful state of being.

In maturity, we feel light and happy all the time. Because we have understood the transient nature of this world. That everything that has a beginning must have an end and that we don’t have control of this cycle until we are mature enough to realize that we are all Buddha’s. We have understood that, apparently unobtrusively, we are flowing away with time and each time we make long term plans, God has a good laugh at our expense.

It is when this happens that maturity has dawned and ignorance has lost finally!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Solution


When we need someone, we end up compromising ourselves. The equation changes and is not an equal one. And the direct result is the feeling of being taken advantage of. Very normal and understandable.

BUT…when the awareness of this happens, it becomes a less tolerable situation and a difficult task to set the equation straight. Then there is resentment. Many have experienced this and continue to do so…

What is the solution? Must this be changed even if it is difficult? Because everything comes with a price. Are we prepared to pay it? In these types of cases, distances can arise between people.

Or, should one keep the surface equation intact? In any eventuality, one will have to change the negative feeling and heal it. Our past actions cannot be judged because they are past. If one learns from them that is wise. The healing can happen when we know what happened, re live it and understand what we did and why.

There is no need to beat ourselves up or regret our actions. All we need to do is analyze our own needs for that moment or period of time. This in itself is the seed of a solution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I am unable to visualize someone who is consumed by hatred. It shakes me up. It is not an intrinsic quality of the soul. I think we all know that.

We could link hatred with karma. We could also link it to a thorough discomfort of being in your own skin which results in comparisons..and we invariably find a lack within. There could be a possibility of extreme jealousy, of feeling small and worthless in comparison with “better” people. More successful people. More passionate and driven people. More popular people.

But the lengths humans can go to, to appease themselves and calm their hatred inspired rage and vendetta can be very unsettling and disturbing.

It would be far too simplistic to say that everything in life should be “hunky dory” and harmonious all the time. If that were the case, we would be a group of saints on the earth.

We are here definitely to experience the positivity’s and negativities, the pluses and minuses of life. And learn from them. But nothing is worth causing self destruction through the kind of negativity that can be created by hatred. It is the fire that burns and destroys like nothing else does.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The healing properties that we have within us are a reality. There are so many ways to cure one’s bodily ailments if we can cure our mental ailments. You know, the latter is the place where it starts happening….

Diseases or “dis ease”s are merely the discomfort that arises from leading a life of unawareness and ignorance. From these emerge all our wrong patterns of thinking and living. And these, in turn, affect our health.

I notice that when people have bonded, laughed and even cried together, there is much joy in the heart, the joy of sharing and caring. The reverse can be painful. The environment, the people, the circumstances are all a part of our karmic experiences and how we respond determines our levels of ignorance and awareness.

Just taking our awareness to those parts of us which are hurting and understanding the reasons for the hurt can heal them. Most important, accepting responsibility for everything that happens to us.

Requires basic knowledge and understanding and we can be on our way to healing ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Constant habit


When we are depressed and angry with the world, we tend to go from bad to worse in our mental condition. Anger only dissipates your energy up to a level where you lose your ability to think straight, let alone heal yourself. And in this mode, you tend to become your own worst enemy.

This situation requires the ability to analyze the core issue of the anger because, as I have experienced it, anger is always self directed…for what could have happened but didn’t, for the wrong choices made, for lost opportunities, for a lack of love, for loneliness, for feeling rejection, depression…and more.

It is not easy to turn inwards. The mind only wants to blame and blame everyone and everything but the self.

And then, we seek recourse to prayer. Even after, we often wait for a change to HAPPEN rather than MAKE it happen. We need help.

A wonderful way to overcome this mode : just ask yourself..

Why am I angry?

Who am I angry with?

Why am I angry with that person or situation?

Did I contribute to it in any way?

Answer all these questions truthfully to yourself and you will find that most of the time, you failed to look within to find the actual issue. That you had the power to understand and let go but you held on.

Making a constant habit of this kind of clinical analysis can help you in cultivating a calm persona.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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