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Archive for September, 2015


To accept another’s opinion of us is so difficult, isn’t it ? We are so worried about what that person will think of us if we accept a negative trait within us.

So, now the done thing is to keep up with a carefully cultivated image. The art of mastering the perfectly acceptable look, the perfectly crafted smile, sometimes with an equally perfect twinkle in the eye… and you can have many followers! The moot point is not to get ego stricken with the following but to face the humongous task of having to peel off that many layers more. I remember someone joking that the layers of make up that artists have to remove starts with the false eyelashes. This was perhaps indicative of the level of artifice that was reached.

Ofcourse, one cannot determine the components of happiness and “feeling good” about anyone. But I am sure of one thing, and that is the utter exhaustion that can happen with trying to superimpose the artificial over the natural.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

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Sometimes, life presents sudden priority situations wherein the routine but important ( to us ) stuff must be put aside. So, I missed put on connecting through my daily nightcap. But the unlimited kindness and mercy of the Divine has kept me spellbound on a personal level. Some mystic laws have unfolded before me, enthralling me and telling me, this is the true nature of Creation. “The good of all is the good of one.”
I have been touched by genuine acts of selflessness from people I have not known but have known for a very long time..in fact, many lifetimes. How beautiful is that ! I am blessed, blessed, blessed. My cup of joy is full. I pray that this transforming experience must touch the lives of each one.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

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Look at us ! We are born with nothing. Then we clutter our lives as we go along. Amass more and more around us…wealth, possessions…at any cost… bigger home, bigger family and so, more space..
And gradually, the nest empties out and we are left with meaningless structures of concrete and mortar, and an illusion of grandeur sans any life in it.
And then we should we start dismantling and decluttering and looking to moving back to our roots…but we don’t. Because by that time the attachment is very intense. And we become more or less slaves to our own possessions. To let go is more or less impossible, unless there is a compulsive trigger.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

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On flight this morning, i was reading an interview by the actor Irfan Khan. He speaks admiringly of the Hollywood punctuality . He says if shooting is slated to begin at 7 am, it begins at 7 am. And if one person is late, hundreds of messages are sent to those involved in the shoot, I imagine, because their time is as important as anyone else”s. And now let us look at our own attitudes ! Is RSVP important if you have been given the courtesy of being invited to a dinner or an event ? No, sirree..how can I tell you from now if I feel like coming or not ? Maybe, there will be a better event coming along ! Or maybe, a more important “contact” may invite me. Or, maybe, i can be on Page 3 if I go to THAT particular event…the list could be endless ! Here, the host and hostess invite first and then make the calls asking if the invited guest is gracing the occasion. Not to mention the amounts of delicacies being prepared !

I am known for plain speak but I speak the sentiments of many who don’t voice this in so many words. I mean, where is all this coming from ? Are we the same Indians, to whom consideration and respect for relationships was second nature ? Have we become so insensetive to others ? Or rather, sensetive to only ourselves ? For, we have developed this major attitude of dishing out but not being able to accept it.

Once, much to my amusement, I got thrown out of a “who is who” list of musicians because I was just unable to attend the musical evening at this couple’s place twice in a row and for very genuine reasons. It can happen to the best of us and we should understand this without taking it personally. But I was told very righteously that they don’t give so many chances to anyone. I am still languishing !

No. Really. Jokes apart, why such massive egos and complexes, guys ? A few years on this earth and the illusion that we are here forever !

Be considerate, sensitive and kind. . Just love and be loved. Care and be cared for. Connect and be connected…it is so simple.

Surekha Kothari

http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

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Why we are different people at different times and with different people is worth thinking about. You have definitely noticed that if you meet three people , all of them will respond to you in a different manner from the others.and you wonder…”i am the same person. So, why such different reactions ? ” You may have one consistent image of yourself but the way people look at you is based on several factors ranging from your physical appearance to your body language to your facial expressions and the way you speak ….and more…which is their own biases and coloration of their minds triggered by the ego. Sounds formidable, doesn’t it ? It is like a chef serving a dish which some find spicy, some tasteless, some too rich and some just right and delicious. And THAT is the good news. There will always be some people who find you “just right”. I am sure the chef in question would have liked more takers but his dish did become popular among many. Likewise, there are enough people who are destined to walk alongside you in friendship and good will. There will be others you meet but find you too spicy or too bland. The way forward is to smile, move forward and ask, “are you coming ?” Some will join in….”loge aatey rahey, kaarvaan banta gaya..”.

Surekha Kothari

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What is loss? I might feel a sense of loss when my children leave my home. I miss them. I am attached. I might even cry at times. To what end? To what solution is not inevitability?

There is a worse loss… of losing someone “permanently”. The grief is unbearable because there is so much fear of loss built in into attachment…”I” and “mine” converts into a sense of loss immediately. My parents! My children! My family!

It is very hard to be completely detached …even impossible! There has to be a reason to shift from this status and incur less suffering…or maybe, this IS a part of the ordained karmic suffering.

But nevertheless, we have to keep reminding ourselves that everything has to pass, sooner or later. The toughest realization to internalize! The self image of being “ordinary” keeps us entangled within this cycle of attachment and rebirth.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

National Committee Chairperson, All Ladies League ( www.aall.in )

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I just saw a photo of a worried baby in the bathtub , the caption of which meant something like, please remind mamma to get off Facebook and tell her I am still in the bathtub. Funny? Think again.
Just recently, there was a case of a mother whose 3 to 4 year old daughter used to come ever so often to her mom on waking up and tell her she had had a dream. It was actually a nightmare she saw regularly. Her mom admits to seeing the upset look on the face of her daughter while she narrated this but never thought of asking the child any details. Why? Because the child spoke so cutely! This child grew up to be a teenager and the nightmares continued to play havoc with her psyche. She became a withdrawn child. And finally, after proving to be one of the most ineffective set of parents, they took her to a psychiatrist!
Parents don’t ever want to acknowledge that there could be something to the child’s story. To be a parent needs so much more awareness than we are aware of. For married couples, especially in the large kind of joint family set ups, whether a couple is ready or not, the natural culmination of marriage is children never mind if the bride herself is still a child. As much as we speak of ushering in a new era with a new Prime Minister, there is a large body of social reforms and attitude changes essential to bring the adults out of their ennui and a total lack of knowledge about minute responsibilities, which should be consciously imbibed atleast for the sake of our young ones who are the future of this country. All I hear often is, “my parents were so strict, I never knew love. So, i am bringing up my child the only way I know”. This means that we have lost not only our intellect but also the ability to think of what is right and what is wrong. All in the name of love (or a lack of it). Wow! Is it a wonder then that our society is plagued with so much complexity and unhappiness?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

National Committee Chairperson, All Ladies League ( www.aall.in )

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