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Archive for March, 2020


We speak of wanting the freedom to make our own choices. Fair enough. And yet, when it comes to our random, often harmful thoughts, we don’t realise that we need to choose the better thoughts and let go of those that will not serve us. And in our hearts, we know this . But a restless mind receives hundreds of thoughts, many of which are useless ones. But we still receive them, and if we are aware, will turn them over in our minds first and examine their worth in our lives. And if not, then better to reject internalising them and send them back into the Universe. Because similar thoughts tend to coagulate into a huge mass of negativity. Whereas, good thoughts must be held on to tightly or they have a tendency to scatter into the atmosphere and disappear.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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A certain transparency is very necessary and beneficial in a close relationship. Sharing the important aspects of each others’ lives can increase levels of understanding and compassion and further those bonds.

Why leave people to do guesswork of what lies beneath a certain pattern of behaviour ? Admittedly, we all have and have had issues to deal with. As children, as teenagers and as adults. And this continues from generation to generation with varying degrees and with different life stories. This generalisation itself should make us more compassionate and empathetic to each other. Even more so, when there are closer ties.

It is so simple that I can’t read all the pages of your book of life unless you share them. And only then will understanding deepen.

So, open communication . It makes life easier and very pleasant as well. As I keep repeating, none of us can live like islands. It would completely be against the universal laws of connectivity. So, why not build strong bridges to other souls ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Attitude


Someone asked me, why is there so much turbulence in life ? I thought .. hmmm.. Do we call it turbulence due to our responses to the unfolding of our karma ? Our perspective ? I always wonder ! Because i see some people calm in the face of storms while some get blown away.

A matter of attitude ? Maybe, a very strong core , an unshakeable faith in the Divine ? Maybe, an internalisation of the ultimate truth after which life becomes like a child’s play. So easy and so breezy !

… and much turbulence in the absence of some or all of the above ?

In any case, turbulence was never the desired intention ever for anyone. Yet, it was allowed by each one of us … as , who else is within us but we ourselves ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Emotions


One basic fact and truth is , never give too much of your emotions to anyone. There is no value and what develops is a recipe for your devaluation. Often, it happens that those you loved, protected and fought against the world for , took abuse for, are the ones who become abusers . Somewhere, something is not quite right. If we think that there would be love and gratitude in return, we would probably be naive. Life doesn’t work exactly that way.

People say its all about respect and respect is earned. I believe respect is earned , too, but for yourself, from within , for yourself, with a noble heart and pure intentions. Respect yourself. This is the main core issue in humans. That we don’t respect ourselves and only look for endorsements outside. Actually, It is between you and the Divine. Nothing else matters .

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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For all the complexes we develop, the seed is somewhere in our childhood. The need for love , comfort, warmth must be met in childhood. Sometimes, even if it IS met, in case of more than one sibling, the tendency to compare leaves some children in a “lack” mode. It is a mere perception. There is only one set of parents turning their worlds upside down to make every child feel loved and at the same time, giving attention where required . And herein lies one problem. Perceptions and comparisons often start here. To give an example, a weaker child takes away for attention naturally. But other children perceive this as “ less” for them. As favouritism .

And when these siblings grow up, the stories of wrongly perceived changing priorities of parents end up in children having complexes of being less wanted than the others. That insecurity and certainly a lack of maturity comes in the way of the parent sibling relationship and children who are now adults, choose to move away or blame parents based solely on perceptions.

There is something to be said about a natural tendency of trust of children in their parents. When a child can confidently say, “ my parents would never play favourites”. Lucky are those parents whose children learn to recognise such qualities in parents and learn to love them and their siblings as well.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Forgiveness


Forgiveness is the highest form of kindness in the world, I think. The one who cannot forgive is worse off ultimately, from the one who seeks forgiveness. Imagine how much work people have to put in to genuinely forgive someone ! It is also incredible that you can , in fact, live with yourself without forgiving. How complicated you can become by knotting yourself up within mixed emotions.

As they say, only humans can make mistakes. Also, that you yourself have made many and more , and sometimes have been deliberately offensive, too. So, when you know this , you would also, at some point, arrive at the repentance mode which leads to forgiveness. And then , to unimagined relief and happiness.

Try it , at least with those who love you and admit to human error.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Today, I remember the words of my guru who said , if a negative person does not let go of negativity, what sense does it make for a positive person to react negatively to a negative person and become negative ? A lesson I remember very often. So simple and so logical . And yet, so difficult .

But by changing some ground rules, one can achieve much success in retaining one’s positivity. And not get affected.

The first ground rule is to know that you have to change your dependence on these people for your happy state of mind. In moments when they may not be happy, they could spill negative vibrations around you.

The second is to examine yourself. Have you misunderstood something somewhere ? And started a chain of negativity ?

The third is, is someone else’s negativity worth getting affected by ?

The fourth is, accept what is beyond your control. Though this can be very painful sometimes.

And finally, make a vow to yourself that you will be positive and happy no matter what.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Hankering after what cannot be is just not wise. Everything has to come within the realm of possibilities first, in order to materialise. And anything CAN come within the realm of the possible , the condition being that there is some amount of realisation.

Sometimes, I think it can be as simple as realising the need for a warm shower. But there is a condition here again, that you feel dirty enough to have one. This feeling is what brings the shower within the realm of the possible.

Likewise, one will have to keep peace until there is a trigger , winds change and something different and desirable happens. Realisation doesn’t dawn in people at your time. Only at the right time for them.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The Divine


Once a mom, always a mom ! I have heard this since childhood. And have wondered ! Why not “ once a dad, always a dad”? A bit of a foolish question, that !

The cosmic artist has carved out mother and child from the same stone. Imagine ! When you see your child, made in your image, with your blood and tissue, it is just like an experience of the soul being an integral part of the Divine.

How can one make light of this reality ? And specially when it comes to aborting a child, and a girl child .

I haven’t seen a mom whose face doesn’t light up at the mention of her child. To her, her child will always be like a child, whatever the age. And she will always protect and counsel her child. Maybe, sometimes, adult children may feel that they don’t need this anymore. But the happiness a mom gets by being loved by her children is unimaginable. And the satisfaction she gets by counselling them is also part of her need to protect. And expects her child to understand that.

If children have clear eyes, they would see that they have had someone holding an umbrella above them each second so that they are shielded from the sun. And they are blessed. Like I feel I am, despite many wars fought with the mom .

Folks , moms are moms and never do we quite have any relationship like this one.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Admiration


We were , as children, were brought up on the tonic, “ you do the right thing”. And as everyone knows, reactive is more the mode of humans than responsive and proactive. It was so normal to feel a little resentful about being the “bigger” person . Who wanted to be the bigger person when only injustice was on the mind.

But, today, when I count some traits of maturity, I am afraid, doing the right thing is way up there. I understand that it was primarily this trait that kept families together, for one. And to me, this is very important.

The Red Label Tea ad shot around the” kumbh mela “theme is completely demonstrative of the merits of doing the right thing. Somehow, we lose the battle due to our desires which don’t match what aught to be done. There is no point arguing with people who question the reasons for doing what is in the best interests of all, when only “my” interest is in focus for me. And that interest is not always aligned with the larger interest.

We speak of Buddha with admiration but don’t think ever of trying to emulate …. we never feel qualified and therein lies the problem. We fail to even try.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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