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Archive for February, 2019

Sign of wisdom


Apparent vs opaque. What seems to be is often not. And what we would not imagine, often is. What appears to be apparent may be just a surface layer which probably could not be penetrated. And what is opaque has a very dense energy around it , which can and cannot be looked into.

But what really works is face value. Taking things at face value is the sign of wisdom. Because this definitely prevents unnecessary analysis and sometimes, over reaction also, which can get pretty out of hand and uncomfortable. Why go there at all ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Attachment and peace are not compatible. Because attachment is bondage . And souls are freedom seeking.

It stands to reason that as long as I consider anything as “mine”, I will always think of something as “yours” , too. And the conflict of mine and yours takes away peace.

What IS mine ? Actually, nothing . Yes, I am holding onto the illusion that all I have is mine. The children are mine. The family is mine. The friends are mine. Etc. And then start the expectations as well.

We are actually caretakers. Nothing and no one belongs to us. The sooner we know this, the better life will be and the more we can deal with life with wisdom and a fair amount of detachment.

If we don’t detach with understanding, we will have to suffer and ultimately, be compelled to detach. So, Looked at from different angles , there IS no peace with attachment.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Talent


Conforming is a talent I have not seen much of. It seems people find it difficult to fall in line as it were. You make a rule and you can be sure it will be broken more than once. The mind is unable to remember with consistency. Alternatively, it may not be taken seriously at all. Amazes me sometimes ! How can one repeat the same mistake again and again ?

In school, we had to conform. In certain homes, children have to conform. But as adults, we don’t think it is necessary to conform. In short, it spells a lack of respect for any rules made by others. Too much of individual assertions without understanding the importance of being able to conform when required. Another yardstick of balance. 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Really speaking, more and more I realise that harmony is within . Being a singer, I notice that when I sing a raga of “gambhir prakriti ” or in other words, of a serious nature, the mind calms down and you get transported onto another level. As if you are floating. And there is peace and nothing matters.

We actually let the world come in to disturb us. We are the ones who open the door indiscriminately. Why ? Because our desires don’t leave us. We are not strong enough to tell them they are not needed in our life. And that life will happen anyways. If we let it flow through us.

The more spiritual exercises you do daily, the more the clarity will come.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It’s a world of vibrations. We make our destinies as we live a life of higher or lower vibrations. In every aspect, you will see the higher vibration taking over. In the Universe, there is a higher intelligence existing somewhere and maybe a higher one than that somewhere else. Our Universe is not the only Universe that exists in Creation.

Just as a powerful nation is able to dictate to or take over a less powerful one, so can the human species be taken over by a much higher power one day. And there may come a time when the human race itself may become extinct, especially if it keeps sinking into lower and lower vibration frequencies.

We have much to be vigilant about but I don’t think we have reached anywhere close to the vigilance levels we need to understand the seriousness of our existence today.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Getting disturbed by anything that we don’t like and is actually happening is human nature. But everything we react negatively to is not bad for us. In fact, some of it is good for us. For example, if you are in a painful, unhappy relationship and it breaks naturally, it is, in fact, a release.

Conscious thinking keeps us abreast of such happenings and gives us the correct perspective and enables us to take a dispassionate view of every thought and happening. Conscious thought leads to conscious behavior which is more balanced than behavior dictated by the ego and defiance.

So, we look at the eye of the storm and then use our wisdom to determine its outcome that is relevant in our lives. And we will find that when storms blow over, often there is relief and peace in our lives. Every storm doesn’t have to leave us devastated.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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“Can love be measured by the hours in the day?” This line from the song from the movie “Love Story” is one of the most beautiful lines I have heard. Can love be measured, period? What is its measure, in any relationship?

Is it the amount of time spent together? Is it the number of gifts exchanged the quality of the gifts? Maybe, branded gifts as a measure of love? Or, daily calls? … I don’t know. All these seem to be very important today.

I wonder if empty hands but a heart full of love would suffice? Would it show in the warmth of affection in my eyes? In my smile that lights up my face? In my bear hug greeting in my travelling miles to be with someone on a special day. In the pain I feel ….or if my day starts and ends with someone.

I wonder at how people judge you and consider you fit for their friendship or love. What would be that criteria?

I wonder how people measure love in its many forms. How many forms do they see? How many are they able to see? And how do they interpret what they see.

I wonder…….all the time…. why there is no common benchmark for love which can sustain the peace and togetherness on this earth.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The general complaint one hears about making any inner changes is, “but, it is so difficult “. Well, isn’t everything difficult before it becomes easy? So, what is the problem? That you don’t want to try at all, only because it seems difficult?

Phase 2: WHY is it difficult? This is a tricky one; Calls for a lot of beating about the bush and skirting the question itself; can’t afford to have answers that point at you.

Phase 3: I did try but it didn’t work; Very difficult to measure the quantity / quality of the attempt. Easier to abandon half way than go through what seems like a huge struggle. Specially for the insatiable ego you carry everywhere.

When you speak of difficulties in life, everyone has them. But if you don’t make it a point to work your way through them, the feeling of being stuck will always keep you stuck. And difficult is as difficult thinks it. Whereas, easy is as easy does it. Simple and quite straight forward!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Enough


How much is “enough”? Growing up, we determined its extent by the tone and body language of our parents. Even by the accent on particular letters of the word. Like, when they said, “enough!” the danger light flashed bright and we retreated to our rooms immediately. If they said, ” enough is enough now”, that was a warning signal not to stretch things too far.

We used to have to take our cues from them. There was strict discipline. Not only that, our elder siblings became unrecognizable when they donned the mantle of our parents while the parents were traveling. They turned Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde into nonfiction and a total reality.

Ah! Those were the days when even discipline did not keep us from smiling happily and basking in the love of family. Our parents were not friends as such. We had our siblings for that. But we ate together, sang and played bridge and card games together, holidayed together with our parents, every summer holiday without fail. Wherever we went, we distributed all the chores among us and it was the height of pleasure to do them amidst mischievous chatter only because we were all together.

On other holidays, it would be dormitory style living with cousins , climbing trees, plucking mangoes and tamarinds off the trees in the compound, playing hide and seek all day long with our elders running after us to get us to sit still for meals and snacks.

Rustic living but so, so beautiful and close to nature! There were no super expensive holidays to Europe and Switzerland. These were hardly any substitutes for the laughter and fun filled days, full of love and sharing. Our hearts were full, pity that this generation will never see such days. What it used to be, finding pleasure in the simple things of life.

Today, what is enough? Going to Europe and Switzerland is not enough. Having the best of cars and gadgets is not enough. Holidays with family are not enough. Being content with “enough” of everything is not “enough”. Because, what IS enough? Is your “enough” like mine or better than mine? Simpler than

Mine or more complicated than mine?

Can I say “enough” today and get away with it? Can I say, “enough is enough” and not is put into a dog house for a sizeable chunk of time?

And what IS enough? I always felt that like “good, better, best”, there ought to be categories of “enough”, too.

Like, enough, enougher and enoughest.

See! At least, you can smile. And that is enough.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I have been discussing with my group about how marriages fall apart “suddenly” after 25 years and more. And I do believe that nothing happens suddenly. It is generally a long road fraught with many incompatibilities and underlying stress which is not spoken about by one or the other spouse to keep the peace in the house. One, big reason!

I think that under the obvious pattern of bitterness and blame lies a need for understanding why the distancing happens. We don’t even know when and how it starts; with a minor argument escalating into a minor war or small misunderstandings or a lack of friendship. Too much tendency to control; not enough respect? Trying to change each other; each trying to prevail over the other? Or simply not the marrying kind but forced to marry to please parents.

I feel a little disgusted when I hear parents telling their son to go ahead and be a man. In short, have a good time as long as you return to your wife. I asked one such mother, “suppose the woman you encouraged your son to philander with was YOUR daughter? The answer was so predictable. Aha! As long as it is not your daughter; doesn’t matter that the other girls are also someone’s daughters.

I know it is an old fashioned concept in the promiscuous society today. What I mean is, it is the moms who actually encourage their sons into these habits many a time.

But, coming back to breaking relationships, the now terribly obsolete theory of marriages surviving because of kids binding their parents together is more or less nonexistent.

Such sentiments have gone, never to return. Trying to put parents together is a counselor’s job. And going to a therapist is a social stigma, not to be spoken about. Many times, the husband doesn’t think HE needs it. Exactly like he doesn’t want to see a doctor when they only have daughters because it is always the woman’s fault that it is so yet; one more reason for a marriage in trouble.

And many of the reasons I have mentioned create a chain and relationships fray and fray and fray, until something just snaps one day. We call it “sudden” but is it really so sudden?

This is exactly like saying cancer happened overnight. No. It just showed up as a body manifestation overnight. It was building up for years like the lava of an active volcano.

Much introspection needed. Much conscious thought needed. Much maturity and intelligence needed.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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