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Archive for May, 2019


Why is it that when we have been doing the same drill for 20 years, like climbing the same steps we can actually climb almost blindfolded, that in the 21st year, we fall on the very same staircase ? You get hurt for sure: your ego takes a knock as well. How did you do something so silly? You should have been used to it by now.

Well, folks, maybe, it is all about losing your awareness at that time.

Haven’t we seen again and again that it’s all about awareness in everything, As opposed to the fact that you can never take anything or anyone for granted; constantly to be within your awareness, watching yourself and others? To understand how to respond based on the conditions before you. How best you can act in the moment.

It is so strange that responses from the same people can be different. And so, presuming can land you into troubled waters. That’s why most people just cultivate the art of treading water.

So, lose your awareness and pay for the consequences.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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All our lives, we are told we must be balanced, balanced and more balanced. While we were kids on the see saw, the fun was exactly the opposite that is one side being up and the other side swinging up in seconds. Then we had the swing on which soaring higher and higher, one hardly knew what balance meant.

We read and preach a lot of theory. But actually, where is the balance? You love like crazy, like there is no tomorrow. You hate, waiting for tomorrow to avenge some deed or another. You eat the food you like until your tummy groans. You see serials like one addicted, forgetting day and night. You are constantly on whatsapp, face book and calls for hours. If you are a golfer, you never heard of the word “balance”.

Today, I am a spoilt child of my parents. Tomorrow, I will want to do exactly what I feel like. Later, I will want much name, fame and money. And so on…. so much for balance! What is that saying that says…

Love as if you never loved before

Laugh as if you will never laugh again

Cry your heart out when it is in pain

Enjoy with every cell in your body….

So much for balance right!

I always think that balance means certain contentment, a satiation level. And this can spell a saturation for which you have to really be ready and would have to have arrived at that point.

How many of us have?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Someone asked a question the other day. If you are close to two people and they fall out with each other over an issue, whose side would you take? A loaded question for sure. A tough one, too ideally, everyone would like to maintain both relationships. And why not, since you were never the involved party. Why do you have to be torn between the two anyway, right?

But there it is. Sometimes, there WILL be a tug of war and then? If you gave the courage, you should be on the side of what is right, and not the person involved.

But, right might be what appears to each person as a different perspective. When both people think they are right, what happens then? We invariably become fence sitters in the name of tact and diplomacy. The thought being,” I don’t want to spoil my relationships. Let them work

It’s out. It may not always be that simple when people are expecting you to take sides.

In life, there will be cases such as these or some others, where people may go away from you. And prefer to stay away for no fault of yours. It is okay. It doesn’t matter. It is not your business to worry about the why’s and how’s. A clear conscience is the only yardstick we should use. And after that, let people stay if they will and let go if they won’t. There will always be a soul connection.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The capacity and the ability to understand depends on the calmness of mind which we possess or should possess. To think, to analyze, we need to keep a very peaceful mind. More often than not sometimes, the anger which sits ever ready on the tips of our noses activates immediately and puts an end to anything we might have been able to understand under normal circumstances.

But having said that when people live in a toxic environment from day to day with toxic people sanity can become a “has been”. And calmness a distant dream. But people live like that. And if it doesn’t kill them, it should make them stronger. As they say in Hindi, and I am translating here, that when pain transcends beyond a point, it actually becomes like medication. And at this point, calm should descend so that the ability to analyze should return.

If only….

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Someone said the other day, and many others say it too, that there should always be a balance of heart and head. Using only the heart doesn’t work and neither does using only the brain. The former results in much pain and being taken for granted and the latter might make you hard and calculating.

But, to complicate matters a bit, there are changing proportions on a daily basis. How much of each would make for a working balance. And therein lies the catch.

The heart is automatically made synonymous with goodness. And the brain with logic, intelligence often moving down the grid to being calculative, many perspectives and several ways of looking at this.

However, the underlying truth is that both must be used.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is the nature of humans to oscillate between happiness and stress. We speak of increasing hours of happiness through external sources and resources when actually, isn’t it really a state of mind? Ah! The MIND! The monkey that jumps from tree to tree! With a super speed unmatched by anything else in the human being, to steady it is a challenge.

But the question is how to make happiness a state of mind? We try to keep away from people and situations that affect us adversely in order to get happiness. Which means, we ARE affected and are in denial? Pushing away issues under the carpet may give us a superficial impression of happiness but there are definitely unhealed issues festering within.

As we know, many of us kill the child within us at some point. Believe me, if you don’t carry the forgetting and loving innocence of that child as an adult, all you will do is live your life cloaking your real emotions, hiding hurt from the world and blaming something or someone most times and also trying to become successful so that THAT becomes your benchmark for happiness. Hmmm! Let’s not forget that THAT is an external benchmark designed to ARRIVE at happiness. Whereas, happiness is not something to be arrived at.

Actually, without the shining light of simplicity, innocence and forgiving, can there be real happiness? I have yet to see it.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The problem with us humans is that we have become so pretentious and insincere that we fail to recognize sincerity or genuineness when we see it.

Some memories of old relationships exist in all our hearts, I am sure. And if they are valuable, we tend to go back in time to connect with the same people. Only to find that, in some cases, there is either a lot of rancor or they have moved on.

Those that have really moved on will be civil or even friendly. But those that have kept grouses for years will be sometimes offensive and sometimes, avoid you.

In the larger perspective, any soul that has a meaning or has had a meaning in your life is definitely a part of your soul group that promised to be a part of your life. What fails is our inability to see that people might be distanced but the love remains, often in the form of anger or hate because what they wanted did not happen.

That is the truth of life. Destiny plays a large role and people get separated because of many reasons, mainly past lives and past karma. But in our anger, we don’t see the larger canvas. If we did, we would reinstate people in our lives more consciously and willingly.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Someone asked me what one should do if someone hurts you with either speech or behavior. It becomes simple when: You accept that getting hurt is choice we make.

When you accept that the one you get hurt by is unhappy in some way and reacts in a way that hurts you and that we are attached to that behavior personally with our ego

Just as anything you throw at a wall will fall on the ground after hitting the wall, so much other people’s deeds fall to the ground if YOU let them.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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A frequent thought: what do you do when you ask for forgiveness but are not given it? When we are taught forgiveness, we don’t think that someone may not be in a mood to forgive and is holding on to past grudges, memories and even pain. Pointless! But it is not easy to preach at that point and say things like, it was not meant to be etc. That would be disastrous!

But truly, what is forgiveness? You basically let go of your negative reactions with an understanding that there is no need to internalize anything. Each one can let it go. The next step then would be easier. Just shake hands seriously, forgiving is merely not keeping anything in the mind. The alert is sounded only when things are repeated again and again.

People tell me, oh! I forgive easily but I never forget and this sounds ominous because you have not forgiven in such cases sometimes. Not always.

You know, I equate this with water sliding off your back when you shower. Just as water is energy, our thoughts and feelings are also nothing but energy. We need to let all of it slide off us. And there will be perennial peace in our inner world. You might say, aha Easy to talk but hard to do maybe, for some; maybe not so hard for others. You will have to try it out.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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If we are afraid of saying what we think is right or fair, we are definitely damaging ourselves in the long run. There is never any end to compromising after that. We have to move along in the same direction, against what we believe in. And we do this to prevent isolation.

Diplomacy, tact and words like that are not meant as compromising in any way. I think we haven’t checked our dictionaries in a long time. Subtle differences elude us. Even bigger ones do.

To be accepted, to be popular, what is the price tag? And to be upright and state your truth, albeit diplomatically, what is the price tag? It is a choice again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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