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Archive for the ‘Counseling’ Category


I am unable to visualize someone who is consumed by hatred. It shakes me up. It is not an intrinsic quality of the soul. I think we all know that.

We could link hatred with karma. We could also link it to a thorough discomfort of being in your own skin which results in comparisons..and we invariably find a lack within. There could be a possibility of extreme jealousy, of feeling small and worthless in comparison with “better” people. More successful people. More passionate and driven people. More popular people.

But the lengths humans can go to, to appease themselves and calm their hatred inspired rage and vendetta can be very unsettling and disturbing.

It would be far too simplistic to say that everything in life should be “hunky dory” and harmonious all the time. If that were the case, we would be a group of saints on the earth.

We are here definitely to experience the positivity’s and negativities, the pluses and minuses of life. And learn from them. But nothing is worth causing self destruction through the kind of negativity that can be created by hatred. It is the fire that burns and destroys like nothing else does.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Intelligence


I watch people and their priorities, their values and now, after I.Q. and E.Q., have coined a new one…S.I.Q., the Sensitive Intelligence Quotient. To be intelligent is great. But to disregard the feelings of others and show your intelligence may not be a great asset.

I recently came upon such a case of two friends. One, being emotional, fell out with a common acquaintance. The other, not understanding why, continued not only to support that person but openly flaunted her liking. This is bound to have a very logically emotional outcome, that of the distancing of the two friends.

Could the second friend have used the S.I.Q here? I definitely think so. She could have supported the third person quietly and understanding the emotions of her friend and respecting them.

I find that in life, we lack this sensitivity towards even close people. Does it show a lack of love? Or a very active ego that does not see beyond? Is it judging others? ….

I feel sad to see that where there could have been love, closeness, being there for each other, one person’s thoughtlessness can strain a relationship, sometimes, even to a point of “no return”. Each of us needs to examine whether we have done this at one time or another. And correct ourselves in the interest of a long term relationship. And for the sake of the love shared earlier. Nothing is worth giving up close relationships for like parents, siblings, and friends.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Silence! A potent word! How many types of silences do we know of?

I am reading a very informative book: “Silence” by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk. Such books increase our awareness manifold.

We don’t know how to face silence. When we are not doing anything, we try to engage our mind in other activities. Anything to get away from silence! We are consumed….

We consume food to avoid emptiness. We let our senses consume us. Feelings! Intense ones! Hatred. Anger. Even love consumes us.

Our desires, choices consume us. Passion consumes us.

And our conscience can consume us. Guilt, repentance for our actions, speech, words.

All these are enemies of silence, of silence that should ideally pervade all these and destroy them.

So, meditate, meditate and meditate. Deep breathe, deep breathe, deep breathe. Our breath is more powerful than we know.

Breath cleanses negative feelings and negative karma apart from bad habits and addictions. Meditation helps to achieve and maintain silence. And one day, this silence becomes golden. This is a state of joy.

But we need to start our journey to get there.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In “satsang” and from spiritual orators and books, we often hear about practicing detachment. While being human, it is extremely difficult. But there are ways of reducing the attachment. Just because, then, decisions would be more correct and more balanced.

Simply put, if we can just be clinical in our assessment of situations, putting behind our personal feelings, this can be achieved.

You know, watching the world go by? Just don’t get embroiled in the lives of those you recognize on the way. Easier said than done? Sure! But at least peace reigns in the lives of such people.

Once you get into the habit of expecting from people the kind of consideration and compassion YOU gave them, you are in for trouble, depression and sleepless nights. Specially if they are “family”. Expectations from the family are natural. But, people just grow up differently. Even siblings. They are products of their own journey. This is the bottom line and the most clinical one, too. It is always good to remember. So that we can immediately let go of any personal expectations and understand that there is a reason why people do what they do. And these may not coincide with your thoughts, values, sensibilities or ways. But that is really not an issue. It is alright. The only thing that is enduring is that which comes from the heart. And to listen to the heart, sometimes, you have to lessen the impact of the brain.

So, the ideal formula is love genuinely, keep a respectful line of control between and live and let live. The only people you can bear influence on are kids… and I am not even sure of that! The rest of the time should be spent on personal evolution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Altitude


 

Who really can say they got everything in life? Only those who actually were grateful for everything they received with an attitude that it was a bonus. A grace. Then there weren’t any compulsive desires as such.

We humans tend to get greedy…we forget that whatever we deserve we do get. No one takes that away and it does not get deflected either. But we evidently look for other, “greener” pastures. More and more and more….better and better and better…..

If a car, for example, is a comfort so we don’t have to walk or take a public transport, does it matter what brand the car is or that at least there IS a car ? Hmm … the difference in satiation levels !!

The difference in being a human being and being human…

Attitude definitely determines altitude. Depends on what KIND of altitude one is looking for!!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Because we are a part of a huge revolution in a knowledge based world and economy, all old paradigms have shifted into not one, but many new gears along with automatic cars. With regard to children therefore, this shift becomes very valid since they are products of today.

But the in between generation that was brought up within the earlier pre revolution phase and who are suddenly experiencing the rapidly shifting paradigms in almost all aspects, may be struggling to balance what they know from back then to what they know now. I see parents of this generation also struggling with their own equation with these children who are adults and parents themselves now.

There may be certain resentment in what they might see as deprivation, in what their parents did not teach them or expose them to. But some of it was not available then.

The overall view may be that parents might have been old fashioned or not excessively bright or intelligent and therefore, less respected. They did not have the knowledge of the current technology as a part of their DNA.  😊and whatever they knew came from their parents and the general environment at that time.

Anyways, it is so commendable that many in that generation of parents still painstakingly attempt to use technology, if nothing, for communicating with their children who life has taken away to distant lands and because of which the parents reside in special housing meant for senior citizens, but hopefully, also in the hearts of their children.

If only I Pads and Internet could bridge the emotional divide!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Understanding people! How often do we actually understand what is going on in the lives of people? Or, even attempt to ? Most of the time, we end up reacting to every look, every word….every gesture…

When we are in public, we expect a certain kind of behavior from people. But we forget, as we don our masks, others do, too. But a mask is a mask after all. It can slip with an unexpected trigger. And when the facade drops momentarily and the hurt and pain are revealed, we never stop to think of the reasons why that person may have accidently become transparent. Instead, we react immediately.

Understanding people is nothing short of personal healing. When you attribute a genuine reason to a person’s slipped mask, you will feel a sense of well being for yourself for having been compassionate. For having gone into the depth of a person’s psyche to recognize the soul within. What can be more elevating?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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