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Archive for the ‘Counseling’ Category

Belief systems


Phrases like “generally speaking” and “by and large” should be generally avoided. These are such a severe conditioning that anything out of these lists can be pretty hard to take.

From a young age, our minds are indoctrinated with these completely impractical generalities unwritten norms which don’t work for everyone. There is no “one size fits all” in life. And we have and continue to see this. Writing verse and facing life are two different things. Idealism and reality don’t even come close sometimes. And yet, our belief systems, even our pattern of loving people is often based on a “should” that comes out of a generality.

“I should do this because he is my dad or she is my mom”. Should? Why? Who wrote the rules book? “Should” doesn’t come from the heart. It is inspired by a motive.

…but still, we carry on and end up confusing others and ourselves. Simple answer! Do what comes straight from your heart individually not generally. And if the heart itself is blocked, see a therapist. But don’t teach too many generalities, because they don’t apply in many cases because people are different. Their thought processes ate different. Their responses are different.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Have you noticed that our thoughts, our actions are mostly based on the expected responses? Have we thought or acted for the sake of thinking and acting? That anticipated response or the expectation of a certain kind of response is vital to our basic health. Because the result is either a “feel good” one or one that brings out our fear and insecurities.

We are so dependent on other people! Their opinions, their good will, their liking (or not) shape and even create us. Quite scary, actually, because we all believe we are independent, thinking individuals pretty much in control of our life.

Yes, we have to live amongst people, but what percentage of the self can we salvage after succumbing to all the influences?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The world is going haywire in search of happiness. Yes, the most elusive goal anyone can have. I am wondering now, is it a realistic goal ? We know that we live in a black and white world. A world therefore, of dualities. The most practical way to live then is to build up a strong coping mechanism for what life unfolds before us. The moral strength and courage to assimilate all experiences . And if this ends up in the feeling of happiness, that would be super and a definite bonus. Can only happiness be a goal then ? In our Puranik tales, we have seen even sages and kings getting angry . Who is considered ” happy” ? The tic, the famous, the educated, the lazy, the restless, the businessman, the home makers, movie stars , professionals, the married, the unmarried ????

In pursuit of happiness, we have to deal with day to day challenges and that is our reality. So, actually, ” don’t worry, be happy” seems to be a bit of a mindless saying. Are we actually forgetting to live in the quest for happiness ?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When you develop an understanding of people and can muster up a kind of X-ray vision into their thoughts and predictable reactions or responses, life becomes very interesting . More than that, you begin to see it all as if you were watching a movie. You know what is going on and what is coming next.

What I discovered about this is that it kind of stops affecting your life after a while. You tend to get a little detached from what is unfolding before you.

I have stopped asking myself, “ what if ? Could I have ? Should I have ? “ etc etc. Because I can’t avoid the outcome. I think I could have done it this way or that way. But could I really have ?

So, getting immune is the best way to go.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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No man is an island and everyone needs someone. In good times and bad times, a good support system makes life easier and more soul friendly. You don’t need many around you. But one should be like three; that caring that desirous of being there for you, as you must be for them as well.

Innocent and sincere friendships are heartwarming. When you see an evidence, your smile also is genuine and your heart happy.

When I hear people say, “but I care so much ” in words more than action, this spells a lack of spontaneity , maybe a kind of getting stuck in a comfort zone and not willing to walk the extra miles. Whatever else the reason!

A support group of friends and family is a total necessity at any time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Every phase has its own brand of joy. There is nowhere to go, just on the path of experience. As kids, we were joyful, period. There didn’t have to be a reason. We just were because nothing affected us.

Growing up, joy was when we had the freedom to experience what WE wished to. And depression when we were forced to do what our heart did not want.

Later, joy meant realizing our dreams. Depression when we couldn’t. And later still, it was comfort and a settled family so that we set ourselves free.

So, joy has always been linked with a sense of freedom of spirit which is completely natural.

As Jean Jacques Rousseau said, “man is born free but everywhere, he is in chains”. Joy is emancipation from such bondage. Most of the times, we tie ourselves up.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Why is it that quiet people are generally ignored? Just because they don’t indulge in constant chatter even if it is trivial or meaningless, just to make their presence felt? I have also noticed that they are not given credit for much brain either. Almost as if, being quiet is being dumb.

The quality of being judgmental is our birthright, you see. So, how can one let it go? How will we form opinions then? They are generally formed on this very premise and such premises, on others and their lifestyles and personalities.

One should always look beyond the facade. Very often, quiet people have much depth of learning and understanding. It is also a fact that those who elevate spiritually find their minds quietening and so do their speech levels. It is true that they don’t feel the need to talk and comment incessantly on something or another. One should never judge them hastily. They could be thinkers who don’t need validation from external sources.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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