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Archive for the ‘Survival’ Category

Choices


How much we suppress ourselves because the people around us get used to a set image of us! It is really incredible, isn’t it? And you automatically match that image because it is “expected” of you. But YOU may not get the same from others. When you conform, you have to continue to conform, or run the risk of heavy criticism and build a steel armor for yourself for it.

I had to share this post because I do believe we shy away from growing because it means change and too many boats can get rocked. The choice may not be easy, but to grow is the purpose of the soul and why it has come here in the first place. Actually, therefore, there IS no choice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Challenges


Every age has its challenges. As kids as teenagers as adults in various phases of growth, mental, emotional and spiritual; the one benchmark of maturity is becoming non judgmental. And this means truly so, not just superficially so as not to displease.

Actually, to be judgmental really means that we need to look at what others are mirroring in us. Why do I need to judge anyone at all? Because there are similar memories that trigger in us; if there weren’t those memories, we would not find it in our hearts to judge.

It is also a matter of feeling holier than thou feeling superior. That is a game that the ego plays. We don’t need to play into its hands. We are fine being our own selves, with our own journey and our own challenges, learning, unlearning and relearning constantly and continuously along the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Every age has its challenges. As kids as teenagers as adults in various phases of growth, mental, emotional and spiritual; the one benchmark of maturity is becoming non judgmental. And this means truly so, not just superficially so as not to displease.

Actually, to be judgmental really means that we need to look at what others are mirroring in us. Why do I need to judge anyone at all? Because there are similar memories that trigger in us; if there weren’t those memories, we would not find it in our hearts to judge.

It is also a matter of feeling holier than thou feeling superior. That is a game that the ego plays. We don’t need to play into its hands. We are fine being our own selves, with our own journey and our own challenges, learning, unlearning and relearning constantly and continuously along the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Every age has its challenges. As kids as teenagers as adults in various phases of growth, mental, emotional and spiritual; the one benchmark of maturity is becoming non judgmental. And this means truly so, not just superficially so as not to displease.

Actually, to be judgmental really means that we need to look at what others are mirroring in us. Why do I need to judge anyone at all? Because there are similar memories that trigger in us; if there weren’t those memories, we would not find it in our hearts to judge.

It is also a matter of feeling holier than thou feeling superior. That is a game that the ego plays. We don’t need to play into its hands. We are fine being our own selves, with our own journey and our own challenges, learning, unlearning and relearning constantly and continuously along the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Every age has its challenges. As kids as teenagers as adults in various phases of growth, mental, emotional and spiritual; the one benchmark of maturity is becoming non judgmental. And this means truly so, not just superficially so as not to displease.

Actually, to be judgmental really means that we need to look at what others are mirroring in us. Why do I need to judge anyone at all? Because there are similar memories that trigger in us; if there weren’t those memories, we would not find it in our hearts to judge.

It is also a matter of feeling holier than thou feeling superior. That is a game that the ego plays. We don’t need to play into its hands. We are fine being our own selves, with our own journey and our own challenges, learning, unlearning and relearning constantly and continuously along the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Every age has its challenges. As kids as teenagers as adults in various phases of growth, mental, emotional and spiritual; the one benchmark of maturity is becoming non judgmental. And this means truly so, not just superficially so as not to displease.

Actually, to be judgmental really means that we need to look at what others are mirroring in us. Why do I need to judge anyone at all? Because there are similar memories that trigger in us; if there weren’t those memories, we would not find it in our hearts to judge.

It is also a matter of feeling holier than thou feeling superior. That is a game that the ego plays. We don’t need to play into its hands. We are fine being our own selves, with our own journey and our own challenges, learning, unlearning and relearning constantly and continuously along the way.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Today, a lot of families are scattered all over the world and due to sheer logistics, distances do not always foster closeness. Inevitably, a certain formality creeps in sometimes. We get used to living without proximity with them.

But, the flip side is true also, and ties are fostered in many ways. True, that little change in personality can be a revelation when you meet family members after sometime. But by the same token, changes in us must also be embraced and adapted too. We often forget that this IS two way traffic.

Nevertheless, generally, it has become easier to keep connected today, what with Skype, Face Time, whatsapp calls etc. But, as they say, if hearts don’t connect, all this connectivity is only designed towards wanting to keep in touch from afar at a comfortable distance.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Humans have been known to forge great bonds, just as strong as hatreds sometimes. A brother could donate his kidney to his brother. A sister could conceive a child just to give it to a sister or sister in law who can’t bear children. Commendable and nothing less than a sacrifice. Yet another sister could decide to marry her own brother in law after her deceased sister, just to be a mother to their kids. Emotional moments and acts.

Physical pain is so much better understood than emotional pain. When pain is compounded many times over, its increasing depth becomes unfathomable to someone else. That is natural, I guess. They haven’t gone through the experience. Yet, they might easily sit in judgement over something despite NOT experiencing it. Whereas, some would think it prudent to cut and delete such things from their lives.

Seeking understanding from people is not always productive. In fact,quite the contrary. No blame necessary. Everyone functions from different levels including us. Life is made up of all hues, like people. People just forget that life has many hues.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In the good old days, there was a saying, “there is no smoke without fire”. Today, the smoke is as fabricated as the fire. Distorted, even baseless versions of reality are making rounds, being magnified and creating chaos. There may not be an iota of truth but it still becomes a popular story, the more “spicy”, and the better.

Why? For one, people are empty within and like vultures outside. Sorry! These prey on dead bodies. Humans prey on live ones. Fanning fires, twisting facts, igniting conflicts based on caste, creed, religion, stopping at nothing to satisfy greed… this has become the world of the predator, the most dangerous trait among people today. You would never guess from the outside demeanor who was out to destroy you.

Your reputation can be torn into shreds in a minute through “evidence” completely fabricated and you couldn’t defend yourself without proof. Not a modicum of either ethics or remorse. So, what smoke and what fire? Truth went up in smoke and flames long ago.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Enough


How much is “enough”? Growing up, we determined its extent by the tone and body language of our parents. Even by the accent on particular letters of the word. Like, when they said, “enough!” the danger light flashed bright and we retreated to our rooms immediately. If they said, ” enough is enough now”, that was a warning signal not to stretch things too far.

We used to have to take our cues from them. There was strict discipline. Not only that, our elder siblings became unrecognizable when they donned the mantle of our parents while the parents were traveling. They turned Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde into nonfiction and a total reality.

Ah! Those were the days when even discipline did not keep us from smiling happily and basking in the love of family. Our parents were not friends as such. We had our siblings for that. But we ate together, sang and played bridge and card games together, holidayed together with our parents, every summer holiday without fail. Wherever we went, we distributed all the chores among us and it was the height of pleasure to do them amidst mischievous chatter only because we were all together.

On other holidays, it would be dormitory style living with cousins , climbing trees, plucking mangoes and tamarinds off the trees in the compound, playing hide and seek all day long with our elders running after us to get us to sit still for meals and snacks.

Rustic living but so, so beautiful and close to nature! There were no super expensive holidays to Europe and Switzerland. These were hardly any substitutes for the laughter and fun filled days, full of love and sharing. Our hearts were full, pity that this generation will never see such days. What it used to be, finding pleasure in the simple things of life.

Today, what is enough? Going to Europe and Switzerland is not enough. Having the best of cars and gadgets is not enough. Holidays with family are not enough. Being content with “enough” of everything is not “enough”. Because, what IS enough? Is your “enough” like mine or better than mine? Simpler than

Mine or more complicated than mine?

Can I say “enough” today and get away with it? Can I say, “enough is enough” and not is put into a dog house for a sizeable chunk of time?

And what IS enough? I always felt that like “good, better, best”, there ought to be categories of “enough”, too.

Like, enough, enougher and enoughest.

See! At least, you can smile. And that is enough.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Large heartedness is always the way to go. Humans are, by virtue of being a part of the Divine energy and hence, spiritual beings, are naturally expansive. This intrinsic quality must be retained to lead a higher quality of existence.

Ultimately, the micro IS the macro. But small mindedness is not productive. It is not natural. Servicing our needs which have already been built into the cosmic plan is therefore, is counterproductive. What we service is our wants, not our needs. And that’s where the difference is not recognized.

You will notice that the moments of the greatest happiness are always when you have extended yourself beyond yourself to others; Maybe, charity or a kind listening ear, “annadaan”, imparting education, and the like, even loving selflessly.

The day we recognize this, we will be well on our way to a truly happy state of being.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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