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Today, we are riddled with double standards wherever we turn. One set for us and another for others. Without any qualms!

“Do as you would like others do unto you” could be a saying in Swahili for all that we know. It is a different world with people courting completely new mindsets.

Complex minds and even dangerous minds, especially if they are devoid of emotions and all the definitions have undergone a sea change. There is really no choice but to accept them. And hope sensitivities will be revived as a reaction to too much of a clinical approach to people, reactions which could be given other tags, such as callous and unfeeling. A legacy of a dominant and fragile ego perhaps and of a highly competitive environment where gnawing desires and ambitions overlook the dying embers of humaneness.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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My guru asked me whether, while meditating, time is slow to pass or passes quickly without my noticing it. And I realized that this is the measure of how successful your first level of meditation is. Some people struggle to sit for those few minutes and some lose track of time.

The latter happens when you actually start enjoying the meditation, when you become peaceful, not necessarily because all thoughts stop but because you learn to observe your thoughts dispassionately. And don’t allow them to affect your inner calm and peace.

People misunderstand the concept of meditation and think it is going to be a drastic and permanent shift. But it won’t be though you CAN increase your hours of meditation gradually to times when you are working, eating, even conversing, by keeping your inner core unaffected and steady with calmness.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In the beginning, an attempt to detach is very painful. Humans are tied up in the silken threads of “moha” which is attraction to people and things, even to places. Even silken threads spell bondage, though, it may be remembered.

Spiritual orators recommend detachment to obtain peace and to move forward towards a more elevated state of being. Not an easy task ! But when you pray hard enough, and try sincerely, the Universe helps you. Circumstances arise to help you detach slowly, often painfully.

After the stage is reached when the pain lessens, you can start feeling the relief of being liberated. Because in “moha”, YOU hold on so, only you can let go to experience the feeling of freedom from the huge amount of baggage that you had stored baggage because “moha” leads to much suffering. You are actually trying to capture the intangible and the illusory. What then would be the result other than suffering?

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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What is fair? What is just? And what is truth? Actually, there isn’t any simple answer. Because we are constantly exposed to so many angles of the same story, so many different perspectives, that we arrive at our personal perspective and understanding of the truth and take that as gospel truth. Our convictions are also based on several viewpoints which culminate into one so called “truth. And we hold onto it at the cost of conflict with another person’s views.

But truth lies somewhere between all these perspectives and our understanding may not be quite there. That is why it is not wise to judge. You really don’t know. What you think you know may not be anywhere close to the truth. And therefore, it is not really wise to get into discussions of this nature.

So, better not to claim to know and hence, avoid judgments.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Learning is directly proportional to your awareness that you NEED to learn to develop other parts of your personality. This awareness makes you come under the “smart” category. You can learn from anyone and anything if you want to. Yes, some of us like to make our own mistakes and learn and don’t want to be advised. But the last categories are the ones who come into the category of the ignorant. Once you feel you have all the answers, there is no learning or growth thereafter.

Who has all the answers? What it is, is an attitude of defiance, an element of ego that refuses to stand corrected an arrogance which stunts any possibility of illumination.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I know why people are known by the friends they keep. These days, when the influence of families is diluted, the friends constitute the “carefully chosen “family, a family where you can have all the freedom to take a path going straight to hell. (Metaphorically speaking, of course). As it is fashionably stated today, you can’t choose your natural family. You can only tolerate them and sometimes, not even that.

I see many “close” friends meeting many nights a week to celebrate their “friendship” with alcohol, weed, cocaine etc. “Carefully chosen family”, did I say? That’s right. I did say that.

But then, our generation grew up with family being friends, too. This two in one package was unbeatable. Having fun with family was going on picnics with parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles , doing train journeys with specially packed Tiffin boxes which was the most exciting meal ever , playing cards during the journey and generally having a whale of a time. Where we felt loved and protected. Where there was zero tolerance for any disrespect, disobedience or rudeness of any kind, and of any “friend” who taught you to stray from family norms into undesirable habits and addictions. Friends were supposed to be those who dragged you away from any dubious people and habits around you , in case you strayed. THAT was true friendship.

Different times, different perspectives! But, the consequences of lifestyles will be seen in similar patterns. That doesn’t change. It is not only what YOU feel but how others see you; too, that brings the consequences. Too much sun will burn your skin. Too much darkness and you won’t be able to bear the sun. Too much freedom and you might wish you had been balanced.

Life has to be lived with love, humility, and yes, sacrifice, too. This is true freedom for the soul because it comes into this world encased in a body. These are essential requirements.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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As women, we pass through many stages before coming into our own space and being comfortable in it. Our strength lies often in being silent when we want to scream. Our strength lies in smiling when we want to bawl our eyes out. Our strength lies in pretending we didn’t see the hatred in someone’s eyes and being pleasant no matter what. Our strength lies in loving our children whether that love is returned or not. In fact, there are many relationships that we hold close because we feel the emotions.

Gradually, we begin to learn from our different reactions to different episodes in our life , until one day, we realize that we have emerged stronger and are able to smile where we cried, hug those who we know could do without us , love those who we know are never going to care as much as we do, forgive those we have hurt us and also forgive ourselves for the hurt we have wittingly or unwittingly caused others.

And we women become stronger and stronger as we start depending on ourselves instead of always looking for crutches. We learn to deal with situations independently a time to rejoice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Emotions


Whatever we might want to do with our past, we certainly do not want to forget the lovely memories. I am one of those, and not the only one, who wants to discover the whereabouts of my school friends through any means. Although I changed 6 schools due to my father’s transferable job, I loved the friends I made in all those schools, the last one being Loreto Convent, Ranchi. Today, I got a call from my batch mate of my final year in school and I am still on a high.

Do I want to change this and “move on” certainly not. I like the fact that we can reconnect with old connections and take off from where we left off all those years ago, difficult to have the same bonds later in life.

But it makes me think that life is to be experienced. Emotions have to be experienced. Of course, all the principles of life and happiness must be observed. But there is joy in experiencing love, bonding, caring and sharing and with these, some not so happy emotions as well. After all, we live in a black and white world where experiencing only the shades of grey in the name of balance might become a tad boring, isn’t it?

So, live life to the fullest as long as you are not doing so by causing someone else pain or grief. And go with your heart.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Life is all about defeating yourself to becoming a better “you”. Isn’t it? But we keep trying to defeat others to feel stronger, superior. What a futile and exhausting task we set ourselves! Reminds me of the story of the man who was sitting on the branch of the tree he was cutting. Which sane person does that?

We take on so many self defeating exercises to show others, whereas the fact is, we need to show ourselves what we can do. Others will see it by and by. And even if they don’t, do we live for ourselves or for others? A very important question and with this answer, we will create our life.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Of late, I have begun to question many belief systems. And one of them is the definition of loyalty. How far do we stretch to prove we are loyal ? And why do we need to prove loyalty ? Do we need to see reciprocity in loyalty ? Or is it a bit like unconditional love where you must be loyal but not look for loyalty as a return. Is this what people call owing allegiance to ?

Sometimes, when a relationship goes through stormy weather, out of pique and hurt, we cease to be loyal. We speak against people. Should we be like that ? Can we live with that ? Or is it better to just let them go and walk away ? Or, is loyalty standing still , come what may ?

Hmmm. An interesting introspection with a review of our past years . Where and when did we exercise our choice for and against loyalty and what we now need to learn.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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