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Archive for the ‘intentions’ Category

Constant habit


When we are depressed and angry with the world, we tend to go from bad to worse in our mental condition. Anger only dissipates your energy up to a level where you lose your ability to think straight, let alone heal yourself. And in this mode, you tend to become your own worst enemy.

This situation requires the ability to analyze the core issue of the anger because, as I have experienced it, anger is always self directed…for what could have happened but didn’t, for the wrong choices made, for lost opportunities, for a lack of love, for loneliness, for feeling rejection, depression…and more.

It is not easy to turn inwards. The mind only wants to blame and blame everyone and everything but the self.

And then, we seek recourse to prayer. Even after, we often wait for a change to HAPPEN rather than MAKE it happen. We need help.

A wonderful way to overcome this mode : just ask yourself..

Why am I angry?

Who am I angry with?

Why am I angry with that person or situation?

Did I contribute to it in any way?

Answer all these questions truthfully to yourself and you will find that most of the time, you failed to look within to find the actual issue. That you had the power to understand and let go but you held on.

Making a constant habit of this kind of clinical analysis can help you in cultivating a calm persona.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Have you felt that in times of sadness, angels hover around you? These are people in your life who watch over you, worry about your well being and often try to illuminate your path when they see you passing through a dark patch.

Sometimes, their value is felt only after they are gone. Because while they are around, we tend to take them for granted. Not often are we in a mood to give them a listening ear.

A matter of karma, I guess. I still remember the gujrati saying which means, wisdom comes only from others, not your own people. Like you prefer the food in someone else’s home. Taking home food for granted and bored with the same flavor. I guess people also come with the same old flavor which goes out of taste.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is not easy to deal with a desire for perfection in everything. You invariably deal with people who are anything but that. To deal with people when you are trying to achieve perfection and a certain standard in everything you do, you had better not rely on them completely unless you want to get stressed out and even fall ill.

Perfectionists have little patience with mediocrity. But to expect your standard of work from others is also foolish. In fact, it is wiser to bring down your standards a peg or two. Otherwise, you are likely to get into serious conflict with such people. To move forward, you might have to deal with less than efficient people and work.

Unfortunately, there are paid officials in many places who do not have the interest or ambition to grow and learn. Because they do not observe. And because they have no pride in their work.

And this gives rise to much frustration in perfectionists. I have seen people leave jobs, sack employees because of this. But they suffer for it.

So, simply put, be protective about your health, chill and relax a little. Everything will get done in time. I am often told that life should also be enjoyed. And I agree….so, learn to grin and bear in general.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In “satsang” and from spiritual orators and books, we often hear about practicing detachment. While being human, it is extremely difficult. But there are ways of reducing the attachment. Just because, then, decisions would be more correct and more balanced.

Simply put, if we can just be clinical in our assessment of situations, putting behind our personal feelings, this can be achieved.

You know, watching the world go by? Just don’t get embroiled in the lives of those you recognize on the way. Easier said than done? Sure! But at least peace reigns in the lives of such people.

Once you get into the habit of expecting from people the kind of consideration and compassion YOU gave them, you are in for trouble, depression and sleepless nights. Specially if they are “family”. Expectations from the family are natural. But, people just grow up differently. Even siblings. They are products of their own journey. This is the bottom line and the most clinical one, too. It is always good to remember. So that we can immediately let go of any personal expectations and understand that there is a reason why people do what they do. And these may not coincide with your thoughts, values, sensibilities or ways. But that is really not an issue. It is alright. The only thing that is enduring is that which comes from the heart. And to listen to the heart, sometimes, you have to lessen the impact of the brain.

So, the ideal formula is love genuinely, keep a respectful line of control between and live and let live. The only people you can bear influence on are kids… and I am not even sure of that! The rest of the time should be spent on personal evolution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Tact, diplomacy or a deflection of truth? The lines between these are blurred today. There are very fine lines between these. So much so that it becomes difficult to tell the difference unless we can really fathom our own intentions or those of others, for that matter.

Twisting the truth a bit to suit our for-the-moment needs is often done under tact and/or diplomacy.

Actually, we need compassion for ourselves when this happens. Because we stray without knowing this. And this straying is so subtle that even we can’t see it at the time. Of course, for some, it may also be deliberate.

Facing our truth is like getting scorched under the sun with no shade at all. And who is strong enough?

Truth is truth. Undiluted. To be tactful is just to say the truth so that it is palatable. Diplomacy has shades of tact but is slightly diluted. Because a diplomatic person tends to say what the opposite person wants to hear. So, often, that borders little on truth.

It is a fine balancing act. There can be possibilities of crushing someone’s self esteem with truth or a possibility of making them feel good with a slight camouflage of truth. That’s why life is called gray and not black or white. And sometimes, our wisdom can be another person’s poison.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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There is great joy in recognizing that things happen just at the right time, not OUR right time but its own right time. When things happen, they happen like magic. If we stop expecting and suffering in anticipation.

Look back and think when this may have happened in your life. Your wish list has many items on hold. Not happening. And suddenly, without notice, one of them just fructifies and leaves you breathless and amazed!

If you want to keep your excitement in life, just keep working to fulfill as many items on your wish list as possible. And enjoy the ones that happen. Leave the rest without hankering after them.

I learnt this from my games apps that I play. I spend days and months to complete one level. And suddenly, a single try on one particular day and hey presto! I have done that level!!!

It is the excitement of the journey that will take you forward. You inevitably will go on to the next level and the same sense of fun starts all over again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Because we are a part of a huge revolution in a knowledge based world and economy, all old paradigms have shifted into not one, but many new gears along with automatic cars. With regard to children therefore, this shift becomes very valid since they are products of today.

But the in between generation that was brought up within the earlier pre revolution phase and who are suddenly experiencing the rapidly shifting paradigms in almost all aspects, may be struggling to balance what they know from back then to what they know now. I see parents of this generation also struggling with their own equation with these children who are adults and parents themselves now.

There may be certain resentment in what they might see as deprivation, in what their parents did not teach them or expose them to. But some of it was not available then.

The overall view may be that parents might have been old fashioned or not excessively bright or intelligent and therefore, less respected. They did not have the knowledge of the current technology as a part of their DNA.  😊and whatever they knew came from their parents and the general environment at that time.

Anyways, it is so commendable that many in that generation of parents still painstakingly attempt to use technology, if nothing, for communicating with their children who life has taken away to distant lands and because of which the parents reside in special housing meant for senior citizens, but hopefully, also in the hearts of their children.

If only I Pads and Internet could bridge the emotional divide!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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