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Archive for the ‘happiness’ Category


The healing properties that we have within us are a reality. There are so many ways to cure one’s bodily ailments if we can cure our mental ailments. You know, the latter is the place where it starts happening….

Diseases or “dis ease”s are merely the discomfort that arises from leading a life of unawareness and ignorance. From these emerge all our wrong patterns of thinking and living. And these, in turn, affect our health.

I notice that when people have bonded, laughed and even cried together, there is much joy in the heart, the joy of sharing and caring. The reverse can be painful. The environment, the people, the circumstances are all a part of our karmic experiences and how we respond determines our levels of ignorance and awareness.

Just taking our awareness to those parts of us which are hurting and understanding the reasons for the hurt can heal them. Most important, accepting responsibility for everything that happens to us.

Requires basic knowledge and understanding and we can be on our way to healing ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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This is especially for moms. Once the children fly the nest, there is a huge upheaval inside them, a deep void which very few understand unless they have gone through it themselves. Children included. It is so difficult to get into “someone else’s” shoes. Yes, I have called a mom “someone else” because she IS.

I don’t mean this in a callous way. It is an Indian thing that moms pretty much sacrifice many years in looking after the kids. I won’t say “nurturing”. Many kids don’t feel nurtured though many moms have done their best, some of them while going through hell themselves. And many moms could have done better as well as long as they don’t beat themselves up for this thought. . But “could have” is speculative.

So, to come back to the void within, it is accompanied by a lot of guilt. “Maybe, I failed in this and this…”. The “could have” syndrome! And some kids make sure they tell you. So, you are left in no doubt if you were even a little doubtful earlier. And there is always hurt…o yes! Immeasurable hurt!

So, I want to tell these moms what my guru says …when kids fly the nest, you start building one for yourself which augments other aspects of your personality which you had no time to look at or gave up out of love for kids or some other compulsions.

I believe in “alone”, not “lonely”. “Alone” carries opportunities for growth. “Lonely” lacks the ability to see those opportunities. How long will you be a conformist if it does not make you happy?

Domesticity is a long habit. It is not a bad thing. But, it is not the ONLY thing. The sooner moms realize this, the more they will be able to expand their vision and incorporate their dreams into it.

Good luck!!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Tact, diplomacy or a deflection of truth? The lines between these are blurred today. There are very fine lines between these. So much so that it becomes difficult to tell the difference unless we can really fathom our own intentions or those of others, for that matter.

Twisting the truth a bit to suit our for-the-moment needs is often done under tact and/or diplomacy.

Actually, we need compassion for ourselves when this happens. Because we stray without knowing this. And this straying is so subtle that even we can’t see it at the time. Of course, for some, it may also be deliberate.

Facing our truth is like getting scorched under the sun with no shade at all. And who is strong enough?

Truth is truth. Undiluted. To be tactful is just to say the truth so that it is palatable. Diplomacy has shades of tact but is slightly diluted. Because a diplomatic person tends to say what the opposite person wants to hear. So, often, that borders little on truth.

It is a fine balancing act. There can be possibilities of crushing someone’s self esteem with truth or a possibility of making them feel good with a slight camouflage of truth. That’s why life is called gray and not black or white. And sometimes, our wisdom can be another person’s poison.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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And the Lord said, “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”. Forgiveness is the biggest tool in life. Every human being needs it big time. The value of this healing tool can be realized only with the development of a spiritual mind and spiritual study. Human beings tend to get very caught up in ego based conflicts, whether within family or outside, because they lack the basic knowledge of soul connections from other lives.

Our texts speak of unconditional love as the only way to live. With all. But this was a principle of satyug. In kaliyug, we look for saccharine instead of sugar, an attractive exterior instead of a beautiful soul, superficiality instead of feeling each others’ pain, and a lot more. But as in everything in life, there is a positive aspect. You adjust and adjust and adjust with your pain and hurt until acceptance sets in. Spiritualists can achieve this without going under permanently. Others are scarred for life.

And the irony is, none of this is real and all we are doing is playing the roles we are given. There is never any permanent damage but for our ego. It’s like hating a very likeable person just because he plays the role of a villain in a drama.

I know there are always reactions to life, events and people because everyone thinks differently. Everyone IS different and can only play their own roles even if we expect that they should change the script for our sake. They cannot because that is the way they were meant to be. Otherwise how would WE experience OUR Karma?

And it is we who cause ourselves much damage by reacting badly and then holding on to our self inflicted wounds. Those who hold on can only pretend to move on. They may be masters of pretensions and fool everyone. But what about the soul within that knows the truth?

From every angle, we see a different truth sometimes. Because we can only look at things our way and according to our level of understanding. That’s why we speak of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Which is very difficult unless you are very mature and truly spiritual, and realize that no one is perfect and everyone has ups and downs which affect all the members of a family or group.

Therefore, forgiveness and understanding are the greatest tools we have and should exercise instead of conflict, criticism and diluting connections of the heart.

People often tell me that they forgive but cannot forget. And I see nothing wrong. If you have a good memory, you will remember. The acid test is , does your memory have an emotional charge ? If so, then you have not forgiven. And your karma with that soul or those souls is not yet neutralized.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I have realized how many little things we take for granted. Is there a guarantee we will wake up the next morning? Do we know for sure that our day is going to unfold as planned? Are we sure that the domestic staff will turn up tomorrow? Is it possible that you have an urgent meeting and the vehicle stops half way? To mention just a few.

Gratitude, therefore, is most important. The person who cleans your restrooms and your home. The one who drives your car, cooks your food. A friend who sits up with you when you are sick. Anyone passing you on the road who smiles at you or saves you from a near accident. Or blesses you without even knowing you….

The bottom line is, NO ONE HAS TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU…and if they do it, regardless of their motives, we have to thank them as messengers of God. The universe works relentlessly and lovingly. We need to understand the significance and read the language minute to minute.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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When we go out to a restaurant, there is a huge menu we choose from. These are items we love and want to indulge in . But they are not necessarily good for our health. We still bypass that thought and make the choice. We tell ourselves, it is only for that meal. So, we end up eating that food and develop indigestion or food poisoning.

Now, similarly , when damaging feelings enter us, we again must choose either to let them in and adopt them as ours or let them go immediately as being wrong for us. Knowing that this may start a pattern, we still accept these feelings because we want to retaliate.

The main cause is that we have not been able to separate ourselves from our egos. So, who gets hurt ? Who wants to retaliate ? It is the ego. If we learn to make a choice against the ego and in favor of ourselves, we can avert any illness of the mind.

If you want freedom from the ego, the most effective way is to simply acknowledge the undesirable thoughts and emotions that came in and the actions they set off. To say, “I was wrong” is really liberating. To say, “I am sorry” and MEAN it is even more liberating. It just clears the air within us and between two people also. Not that you mean to, but this rattles the opposite person and generally forces him or her to introspect.

Ultimately, our purpose is to work with love, not anger , resentment, fear or hatred, isn’t it ? 

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Compulsions


How many compulsions we have to deal with in life on a regular basis! A lot of energy is lost if we look at them as necessary evils. To HAVE to do something against our wishes needs an instant infusion of extra energy in the form of mustering up a little more enthusiasm than we actually want at that point.

There is heaviness and reluctance and a need to just become invisible so that there is no compulsion foisted on us.

But actually, that compulsion could be pushing us towards new experiences which we would be deprived of otherwise. It is like not wanting new experiences and getting caught in a limited space because we are comfortable there.

I have realized this fact. And each time I have surrendered to compulsions, I have gained in one way or another. Rather than avoid them and miss out on a piece of life. It could be that the universe wants us to have that experience and that may be the right time for it. And maybe, we would emerge wiser, better and happier in the bargain.


Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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