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Archive for the ‘Life Style’ Category


Even if I say so myself, our generation was taught well and specially in terms of consideration for one to be aware of our space and act circumspectly and respect the space of others. We also knew things like, you queue up on the left and let people move forward from the right. We never had cell phones back then but we knew that we were supposed to give way to the elders.

Today, just forget all this. Even airports and stations have become like parks. Not to mention malls huge crowds, some loitering while talking merrily on cell phones, oblivious of the fact that they are blocking people behind them. Escalators have become a plaything, to run up and down like kids, never mind who you can knock down in the bargain.

Of course, there IS nothing like queues for some. Cutting through J walkers has become the single most frustrating exercise in malls, stations and sometimes, at airports too.

There is NO consideration in people for anyone other than themselves. Naturally, there is a resulting chaos, conflict and much anger everywhere. Minds are frayed not only at the edges but from all sides.

Quantity over quality is an accepted situation. If you haven’t accepted this yet, you are in for depression and high blood pressure.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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As women, we pass through many stages before coming into our own space and being comfortable in it. Our strength lies often in being silent when we want to scream. Our strength lies in smiling when we want to bawl our eyes out. Our strength lies in pretending we didn’t see the hatred in someone’s eyes and being pleasant no matter what. Our strength lies in loving our children whether that love is returned or not. In fact, there are many relationships that we hold close because we feel the emotions.

Gradually, we begin to learn from our different reactions to different episodes in our life , until one day, we realize that we have emerged stronger and are able to smile where we cried, hug those who we know could do without us , love those who we know are never going to care as much as we do, forgive those we have hurt us and also forgive ourselves for the hurt we have wittingly or unwittingly caused others.

And we women become stronger and stronger as we start depending on ourselves instead of always looking for crutches. We learn to deal with situations independently a time to rejoice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Disentanglement vs detachment:

In these modern times, the one person who makes practical sense in terms of interpreting old values seems to be Sadguru. The important point to note is that everything comes back to each succeeding generation in a new package, with a certain twist.

One day, I was having a discussion on attachment with my guru and telling him how I wished to be detached like sadhus like him are. And he had smiled and said,” even sadhus have attachments. I was a little thrown by that statement, purely because of my own mindset which I had cultivated by reading old texts and listening to many lectures of spiritual orators. Sometimes, introspection on some statements can fall short and belief systems formed by half knowledge.

Sadguru explains very convincingly that if you think detachment is what you are here for, you can find ways of dying right now, because you are not here to learn detachment. If you are not attached, how would you experience life, the purpose for which you were born? The reason we suffer is not due to attachment but the mind getting entangled with people, situations, and emotions.

When that happens, you cannot extricate yourself from the experience whereas the idea is to experience and move on.

We can even call it living each moment completely. And living IN the moment each minute and moving ahead with a clean slate each time and from each experience. Somewhat like the magic white board which turns white every time, after being written on in many different colors.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Sometimes, we make observations like, he or she talks too much. There are many reasons why there are some people who feel the need to talk… to fill in the long silences between people, awkward silences of discomfort. Some people try and fill up these silences to keep conversation going.

On the flip side, there are those who will just look at you but not speak. No reaction comes forth, as I mentioned this leading to the awkwardness. The psychology of the silent ones runs deep and can vary from insecurity to low self esteem to fear of saying the wrong thing; Even the fear of ostracisation self abnegation.

The good news is, public behavior and conversation is a learnt art. You can actually change your current personality to incorporate techniques which will put you in a safe zone, and, in fact, make you a confident and happy conversationalist.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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In the Indian discipline, fasting has many benefits. Many religions also advocate it as a cleanser of toxins. The benefits, however, are many if fasting extends in thought, word and deed.

Therefore, “mouna” or silence is very important. Silencing your thoughts, your speech and abstaining from toxic foods purifies the system. It purifies thoughts, exercises some measure of control over speech automatically and puts you in a placid and calm state of mind.

Children in schools should be initiated most definitely. A daily exercise of silence or chanting for a few minutes to start the day with can make a sizeable difference to those who are hyperactive. The younger generations of parents are incorporating this technique on a daily basis with positive results.

It really would be ideal to introduce parts of the earlier “Gurukul” system of holistic education to make the future generations ethically, morally, mentally, emotionally and physically strong and balanced.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is very easy to slip into an inertia mode if things don’t work out as you want in life, specially over a long period of time. When disappointments keep happening and hope ebbs away slowly and steadily. And ” what’s the point” becomes your theme song. And then, if you are able to pull yourself up and out of THIS frame of mind, you are truly admirable in spirit.

This is not to sit in judgement over those who find it difficult to overcome this situation. It takes a Herculean effort .

I feel that just as we look upon “annadaan”or feeding the needy as a divine service, bringing people out of their depressions is a major service. Suicides are a result of such hopeless depressions. Life is a gift but unfortunately, does not register as one to those afflicted with deep hopelessness.

If every member of a family understands the importance of this, and that if sharing and caring, this stage of depression can be averted. God’s work, for sure. And this also applies to caring for orphans and those who have strayed out of anger and frustration with life.   

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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No man is an island and everyone needs someone. In good times and bad times, a good support system makes life easier and more soul friendly. You don’t need many around you. But one should be like three; that caring that desirous of being there for you, as you must be for them as well.

Innocent and sincere friendships are heartwarming. When you see an evidence, your smile also is genuine and your heart happy.

When I hear people say, “but I care so much ” in words more than action, this spells a lack of spontaneity , maybe a kind of getting stuck in a comfort zone and not willing to walk the extra miles. Whatever else the reason!

A support group of friends and family is a total necessity at any time.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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