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Archive for the ‘Forgivenes’ Category


Child depression has become a huge issue in the world of today. There were unwanted children, neglected children even earlier in time. However, the sole reason for stress in as young as school children today is the paucity of love, lack of opportunity, devaluation of merit and a desperate run towards. Just to name a few. There is much depression in children, visible and subtle, and it runs deep.

The new and upcoming affluence can demonstrate cluelessness. Some may be struggling to keep abreast of the rapid changes and not being too successful in giving a comprehensive education.

The thumb rule is, we give what we have. Rich parents give material things for the asking. They have money to burn. And thus, their kids burn their lives in it. The educated class ensures the education of their kids. The middle class has motivation and ambition to give their children because they have to and need to teach their kids to become earning citizens. There is not much to fall back on. Lower income groups struggle to give to their children period.

There is so much available out there that much of the depression comes from complete deprivation, the inability to procure what others seem to have. The pressure just to BE is unbelievable.

Somehow, in life, these are the things that matter. You tend to see only that. You seldom focus on those who give or want to give you happiness because they have it and know the value. Ironically, everyone wants it but no one wants to learn about how it can become a part of you. The more they run, the more elusive it becomes.

And when you don’t look for the right ingredients, automatically, you fail to draw the attention of your children to the meaningful achievements. And children learn by example.

Unfortunately, parents very often live through their children. This is yet another big source of depression in children today. Fulfilling the ambition of their parents. Being pushed where they don’t want to be. Bearing burdens they are too young to shoulder. Growing up before they have enjoyed childhood. Also, misusing childhood because they either have not been taught better or are swayed by the blinding light of parties and temptations, failing to see the darkness behind that blinding light…and everything blind needs eyes of wisdom.

We have much work to dispel that darkness within innocent minds and give them love, hope and a direction , not missing out the most important one: the spiritual one : the way back to their real source.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The human mind can be really fickle if we don’t watch out! Its likes and dislikes oscillate much more than the changing seasons. Maybe, in current times, the seasons are also becoming as unpredictable as people.

We must really ask ourselves why we are so lacking in consistency and why should our will prevail each time? This seems to be a huge reason for our inconsistency. “I”…”Mine”…Yes sir! We salute you. It is and has to be only you and you… amazing! And this would also be fine if there were no frequent variations in what came out of that “I” and “mine”. But the inconsistencies within short term consistencies which I am calling “fickle” here seem to be endless.

Especially when in a group. Group behavior, if you notice, is a typical example. A few days back, I wrote about insecurities. Frequently changing parameters of emotions are directly linked to the very same insecurities.

Often, we misinterpret, and sometimes, wantonly misinterpret the words or acts of people we are not too fond of or are even envious of. Where is the core issue? Of course, within us. We actually don’t have the courage to be ourselves and fall short in our own eyes.

So, fickleness leads to oscillations, and this soon becomes a chain. Like riding a bike downhill without a break. We don’t know how and where we are going to end up. Because the bike is driven by “I” and “mine” whereas the consistency is due to the ability to control the brakes .These are the “we” which we fail to activate.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The current debate…conversions! We are so hung up on religious identities and intolerance of other religions that there are dedicated groups actively engaged in conversions. To what gain? Power? Controlling minds?

Isn’t it strange that no one thinks of conversion of their thoughts, destructive emotions, speech and actions? Even if we gloss over the conversion part, I don’t understand what kind of believers of a religion would want to convert others. Because enlightened people would live and let live.

Recently, there has been a picture of a temple in Dubai making rounds on whatsapp which shows a Hindu priest conducting a pooja and a Sheikh holding the pooja tray next to him. How beautiful and truly spiritual is this!

Conversions are so superficial. The soul has no religion. We just need reasons to ignite fires to control the masses. If you really mean business, why don’t you convert yourself, first from prejudices and hatred and second, from any kind of emotional negativity?

If this happens, conversions will be a thing of the past.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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To deserve what you get! How far is this true? Does everyone get what they deserve? “Deserving” is such a debatable word. We all feel at one time or another that we didn’t get what we deserved. It is an imaginary yardstick we have for ourselves that makes or breaks us.

Who is really to say what we should have or not have in terms of anything ? Or, deserve it for that matter.

How many times we set goals, work towards them but fail to achieve them. Did we not deserve them then?

Likewise, we get pulled into a tunnel of success in something we never even hankered after. Did we deserve that when we did not ever work for it ? Was it luck? Or karma?

So, deserving is something it is better not to focus on too much. You want to achieve something, go at it with full steam. Try your best. Don’t judge at all, whether you achieve your goals or not. Because, this is a most positive way you can live your life. Circumstances may change while you toil. You may also decide to change course along the way. Who knows? So, why care or wonder about deserving at all? You had what you had. You have what you have. You will have what you will have in the future. A perfect attitude for contentment.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Maturity


Maturity! A very vaguely understood, perhaps misunderstood condition. Generally, we refer to maturity when we actually speak of people aging. “Maturity” seems to be used as a synonym for aging. Frankly, it is only the body aging and so, all aged people need not be accused of being mature.

Maturity is an inner process of growth. It means to take complete ownership of the self and that, too, with responsibility. Very often, we remark about people’s immature behavior or immature words. Both project a certain lack of growth.

Maturity has no direct connection with life experiences. But, it has everything to do with personal responses to those experiences.

There are times when you must give in and times when you must hold back. To understand when to exercise such a choice effectively is a part of being mature, to HANDLE yourself during situations, to be calm, to be proactive and aiming to cause least damage while acting upon a well thought out plan.

Maturity is to act wisely and bring a wholesome harmony into an erstwhile tense situation.

That is why impulsiveness is often not considered to be maturity. Not enough thought there! It is also often mistaken for “spontaneity” which, again, is not a synonym. “Impulsive” is judged as “childish”. Yet, Osho says that to be childlike is to reclaim your innocence which leaves you desire less. He calls this state as maturity. Where you don’t really NEED anything. You are happy anywhere, any time and no situation have the power to rob you of your peaceful state of being.

In maturity, we feel light and happy all the time. Because we have understood the transient nature of this world. That everything that has a beginning must have an end and that we don’t have control of this cycle until we are mature enough to realize that we are all Buddha’s. We have understood that, apparently unobtrusively, we are flowing away with time and each time we make long term plans, God has a good laugh at our expense.

It is when this happens that maturity has dawned and ignorance has lost finally!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Solution


When we need someone, we end up compromising ourselves. The equation changes and is not an equal one. And the direct result is the feeling of being taken advantage of. Very normal and understandable.

BUT…when the awareness of this happens, it becomes a less tolerable situation and a difficult task to set the equation straight. Then there is resentment. Many have experienced this and continue to do so…

What is the solution? Must this be changed even if it is difficult? Because everything comes with a price. Are we prepared to pay it? In these types of cases, distances can arise between people.

Or, should one keep the surface equation intact? In any eventuality, one will have to change the negative feeling and heal it. Our past actions cannot be judged because they are past. If one learns from them that is wise. The healing can happen when we know what happened, re live it and understand what we did and why.

There is no need to beat ourselves up or regret our actions. All we need to do is analyze our own needs for that moment or period of time. This in itself is the seed of a solution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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And the Lord said, “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”. Forgiveness is the biggest tool in life. Every human being needs it big time. The value of this healing tool can be realized only with the development of a spiritual mind and spiritual study. Human beings tend to get very caught up in ego based conflicts, whether within family or outside, because they lack the basic knowledge of soul connections from other lives.

Our texts speak of unconditional love as the only way to live. With all. But this was a principle of satyug. In kaliyug, we look for saccharine instead of sugar, an attractive exterior instead of a beautiful soul, superficiality instead of feeling each others’ pain, and a lot more. But as in everything in life, there is a positive aspect. You adjust and adjust and adjust with your pain and hurt until acceptance sets in. Spiritualists can achieve this without going under permanently. Others are scarred for life.

And the irony is, none of this is real and all we are doing is playing the roles we are given. There is never any permanent damage but for our ego. It’s like hating a very likeable person just because he plays the role of a villain in a drama.

I know there are always reactions to life, events and people because everyone thinks differently. Everyone IS different and can only play their own roles even if we expect that they should change the script for our sake. They cannot because that is the way they were meant to be. Otherwise how would WE experience OUR Karma?

And it is we who cause ourselves much damage by reacting badly and then holding on to our self inflicted wounds. Those who hold on can only pretend to move on. They may be masters of pretensions and fool everyone. But what about the soul within that knows the truth?

From every angle, we see a different truth sometimes. Because we can only look at things our way and according to our level of understanding. That’s why we speak of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Which is very difficult unless you are very mature and truly spiritual, and realize that no one is perfect and everyone has ups and downs which affect all the members of a family or group.

Therefore, forgiveness and understanding are the greatest tools we have and should exercise instead of conflict, criticism and diluting connections of the heart.

People often tell me that they forgive but cannot forget. And I see nothing wrong. If you have a good memory, you will remember. The acid test is , does your memory have an emotional charge ? If so, then you have not forgiven. And your karma with that soul or those souls is not yet neutralized.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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