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Archive for the ‘Forgivenes’ Category

Solution


When we need someone, we end up compromising ourselves. The equation changes and is not an equal one. And the direct result is the feeling of being taken advantage of. Very normal and understandable.

BUT…when the awareness of this happens, it becomes a less tolerable situation and a difficult task to set the equation straight. Then there is resentment. Many have experienced this and continue to do so…

What is the solution? Must this be changed even if it is difficult? Because everything comes with a price. Are we prepared to pay it? In these types of cases, distances can arise between people.

Or, should one keep the surface equation intact? In any eventuality, one will have to change the negative feeling and heal it. Our past actions cannot be judged because they are past. If one learns from them that is wise. The healing can happen when we know what happened, re live it and understand what we did and why.

There is no need to beat ourselves up or regret our actions. All we need to do is analyze our own needs for that moment or period of time. This in itself is the seed of a solution.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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And the Lord said, “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do”. Forgiveness is the biggest tool in life. Every human being needs it big time. The value of this healing tool can be realized only with the development of a spiritual mind and spiritual study. Human beings tend to get very caught up in ego based conflicts, whether within family or outside, because they lack the basic knowledge of soul connections from other lives.

Our texts speak of unconditional love as the only way to live. With all. But this was a principle of satyug. In kaliyug, we look for saccharine instead of sugar, an attractive exterior instead of a beautiful soul, superficiality instead of feeling each others’ pain, and a lot more. But as in everything in life, there is a positive aspect. You adjust and adjust and adjust with your pain and hurt until acceptance sets in. Spiritualists can achieve this without going under permanently. Others are scarred for life.

And the irony is, none of this is real and all we are doing is playing the roles we are given. There is never any permanent damage but for our ego. It’s like hating a very likeable person just because he plays the role of a villain in a drama.

I know there are always reactions to life, events and people because everyone thinks differently. Everyone IS different and can only play their own roles even if we expect that they should change the script for our sake. They cannot because that is the way they were meant to be. Otherwise how would WE experience OUR Karma?

And it is we who cause ourselves much damage by reacting badly and then holding on to our self inflicted wounds. Those who hold on can only pretend to move on. They may be masters of pretensions and fool everyone. But what about the soul within that knows the truth?

From every angle, we see a different truth sometimes. Because we can only look at things our way and according to our level of understanding. That’s why we speak of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Which is very difficult unless you are very mature and truly spiritual, and realize that no one is perfect and everyone has ups and downs which affect all the members of a family or group.

Therefore, forgiveness and understanding are the greatest tools we have and should exercise instead of conflict, criticism and diluting connections of the heart.

People often tell me that they forgive but cannot forget. And I see nothing wrong. If you have a good memory, you will remember. The acid test is , does your memory have an emotional charge ? If so, then you have not forgiven. And your karma with that soul or those souls is not yet neutralized.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Keep the pollution away. And I don’t mean only environmental pollution. That is an obvious fact. There are other forms. For example, what a polluted mind can do is not apparent even when our own mind does it. We should be so much aware, actually, that even if a polluted thought enters your mind, you ask for forgiveness immediately. Excessive? Not at all!

You will notice that we all have formulated very “artful” ways of overlooking the pollution in our minds. Take humor. One always knew of laughter being the best medicine, as avid Readers’ Digest readers believed laughter to be. But how much dislike and aversion can humor be laced with is something we all have seen many a time. Right? In fact, every night, at bedtime, if you recap every detailed thought, word and deed honestly to yourself, some pollution will be visible. Some negative thought about something, someone…even you. (You are equally important, if not more). Or, some emotions that lashed out uncontrollably because someone else was at fault and “did that to you”…when you know that no one can do anything to you unless you permit it…and some acts also that we try to palm off on some incident or people , acts that we are not really proud of.

One way to reduce this pollution is to keep the mind outside of you. Examine it minutely and see what thinks is and what it says to you. And take the positive in and keep the rest out. With a little practice, you will see a difference. Once you know you can do this successfully, you will want to do this exercise again and again like a child because you will start feeling so good about yourself that you will never want to regress to that pollution stage again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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We seldom nurture our inner child. Since childhood, we are trained at the conscious mind level to share, to give, to do things for others. But never taught that it is equally important to love our inner child. Some children are also abused for their ways. These kids grow up to subdue or even kill their inner child because the signals they have received very early in life is that this inner child is non functional. That it is that part of the personality that is not required.

But this inner child is the core of love. A child is very loving and very spontaneous. Imagine, if this source is turned off, how this child would survive as an adult. On arid ground. Without water.

 I don’t think there is anything more detrimental than a lack of self love and the inability to get or feel that love from others. Love keeps the softness within us alive. Be sure that those who have a hardened exterior need love and frequent hugs more than others. Because they show a facade and suppress a lot. Just like those who love attention and a lot of limelight are deeply insecure.

There is no alternative but love, to love yourself, to care and have compassion for yourself first and then for others because they are fashioned in a similar way to you and have the same source of energy to draw from. And therefore, connected.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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To forgive and be forgiven is the most beautiful feeling. It removes many blocks within, cleanses our energies and gives us a new impetus to start over. It is often a difficult exercise. But if we look at every human being as a soul and all the layers as meaningless as the ones we pile up on ourselves, we might succeed in developing a sense of compassion.

To let go of grudges and resentments and to try and forgive completely is beautifully demonstrated by the “paryushan” week by the jain community. They ask for forgiveness within their family and friends and anyone else they have hurt. And this requires a subjugation of the ego, although temporary for many. Being human, we do tend to lapse. However, it does teach us and make us aware that we need to make it a part of our lives gradually and with practice.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Observation


If the only thing we did in life was to observe people and why they do what they do, we would actually live the saying “Life is the best school”. Not only that, we would also understand ourselves better. No puzzle here! It is simple! For every observation, examine the emotion within you and the importance you give it, and you will realize what it is that you need to work on.

What we also learn is what to do and what not to do. Learning history, geography etc. May fetch us a degree but if we can learn the right lessons in the school of life we can get our pedigree.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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We don’t really realize what happens when we violate a universal law. The repercussions have long and far reaching effects. There is a snowball effect for everything. And once the consequences begin to spiral outwards, they complete their circle of movement. And to experience the consequences is inevitable.

Humans are naive enough to believe that if they disobey the universal laws surreptitiously, deviously and silently, they can get away with it. Think again! Like the proverbial fly on the wall, the Universe watches. Every second! But we do many things in ignorance and out of the preview of the parameters of wisdom…this has to change first.

 Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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