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Archive for the ‘Forgivenes’ Category


A frequent thought: what do you do when you ask for forgiveness but are not given it? When we are taught forgiveness, we don’t think that someone may not be in a mood to forgive and is holding on to past grudges, memories and even pain. Pointless! But it is not easy to preach at that point and say things like, it was not meant to be etc. That would be disastrous!

But truly, what is forgiveness? You basically let go of your negative reactions with an understanding that there is no need to internalize anything. Each one can let it go. The next step then would be easier. Just shake hands seriously, forgiving is merely not keeping anything in the mind. The alert is sounded only when things are repeated again and again.

People tell me, oh! I forgive easily but I never forget and this sounds ominous because you have not forgiven in such cases sometimes. Not always.

You know, I equate this with water sliding off your back when you shower. Just as water is energy, our thoughts and feelings are also nothing but energy. We need to let all of it slide off us. And there will be perennial peace in our inner world. You might say, aha Easy to talk but hard to do maybe, for some; maybe not so hard for others. You will have to try it out.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Arguments


Arguments are only for winning or losing a point of view. It becomes a personal issue to be proven right. Never mind the logicality or authenticity of the point of view.

On the other hand, if you discuss, you may arrive at what is really the right view. The former is ego driven. The latter, based on maturity. Because it is all about what is right.

It would be interesting to observe how many arguments one has had vis a vis how many discussions, nothing like a little introspection here.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Pile up


Right from the time we become adults, we accumulate and hoard. Then, in the sunset years, we need to declutter and give away. Similarly, we build larger homes and then shrink them into apartments. We know that everything has to be downsized ultimately. Yet, we keep accumulating more than we actually need.

I believe that the bigger the space you create the more clutter you will pile up. Every empty wall needs to be filled up.

Yet, our heart has huge spaces in it. We call it a void. Because
ironically we downsize the heart very early in life, which we are not supposed to. No clutter there. Whereas, the more full it is, the more abundance there would be; a completely opposite reality the main difference between the physical world and the non physical world.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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The general complaint one hears about making any inner changes is, “but, it is so difficult “. Well, isn’t everything difficult before it becomes easy? So, what is the problem? That you don’t want to try at all, only because it seems difficult?

Phase 2: WHY is it difficult? This is a tricky one; Calls for a lot of beating about the bush and skirting the question itself; can’t afford to have answers that point at you.

Phase 3: I did try but it didn’t work; Very difficult to measure the quantity / quality of the attempt. Easier to abandon half way than go through what seems like a huge struggle. Specially for the insatiable ego you carry everywhere.

When you speak of difficulties in life, everyone has them. But if you don’t make it a point to work your way through them, the feeling of being stuck will always keep you stuck. And difficult is as difficult thinks it. Whereas, easy is as easy does it. Simple and quite straight forward!

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Grow through what you go through. It is amazing how one sentence can be like an ocean of teaching. Living through the experience is the only way to grow. A personal experience is more profound than any words. Remember how we were as parents, always sheltering our kids instead of allowing them to have their own share of experiences? And what happened to these children? Many of them could not create and grow into their own spaces. But some parents chose to teach them how to reason and think and experience and grow. For example, children must be allowed to fall and get up, rather than being prevented from falling.

At every stage from the toddler stage to adulthood, the importance of our own experience cannot be underestimated. Once we experience, we learn from it. Mere words cannot change us unless we imbibe teachings sincerely and allow them to sink in deeply. But we never forget a lesson when we have lived the episode.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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On a scale of 0 to 10, how much are you driven by fear of losing the people you love? We all need to really think about this because much of our life IS ruled by this fear.

The thought of being rejected or shunned torments and transforms into depression in many cases. And then, you can ask for references of names of psychologists/ psychiatrists / healers to tackle your depression.

First of all, fear itself is avoidable. What can be the value of fear between two people who are close? Only desperation to remain close can trigger fear. The insecurity can trigger fear.

To make people indispensable in your life can be a source of fear. They can rule your heart by all means. Love does not need reciprocity. You love because you love. It is your choice and no one can take it away. But if people you love choose to leave or create a distance, you should still be able to love them and pray for their happiness. Love is not a trade off although this is the way it works in this world.

You scratch my back and I scratch yours, and let us both bleed to death in the name of love, curtain close applause. Now, let us go home. This is the world we live in.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Emotion


Regret is the worst emotion for any of us. Crying over spilt milk, without examining and analysing the how’s and whys. It IS important to do so. The root cause of regret may be very small.

Aren’t there many things we have wanted but unable to get them ? Or achieve them ? Even if I take up a career successfully today, there may be other aspects which I could not nurture due to time constraints and whatever else.

Circumstances, inabilities of different kinds and for different reasons… it’s ok , because one did other things . That is the satisfaction one seeks. It is important to find enjoyment in what we do, not regret what we did not or could not do. The bottom line !

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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