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Archive for the ‘compassion’ Category


When you go through something major in life, like a trauma, a sudden episode where the presence of God really hits you, there occurs a major change in your life, in your priorities. What used to matter so much seems trivial, even laughable? The first thing that hits you is, what was the point of giving less importance to yourself, your health and more to external factors  and more important, the unimportant factors.

Most of us make this mistake. Yes, I do call it a mistake because often, you lose awareness of your own body, mind and soul in catering to outside circumstances and people. Definitely not worth it in the long run, is it? You need people when you are unwell and there is no guarantee they will be there. Instead, just be well. Look after yourself first. Wear your oxygen mask first. And then, use the milk of human kindness to help others.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Very casually, we ask God for Wisdom, as if it is there for the asking. Maybe, it IS, but not without human effort. What is a prerequisite to wisdom is discernment, or, shall we say, they kind of go together and one adorns the other.

To be discerning is to be measured, to be aware of how much if head and how much of heart, how much of senses, how much of emotion would make the right recipe for any particular occasion. And when this gut feeling is finally right, then the result may be right for all concerned and that would be wisdom.

We humans are frivolous many a time, impulsive, too. Doing things without enough thought and introspection, often lands us in deep and muddy waters. So, refrain!

Actually, harmony has a way of feeling like a flowing river inside us. In every experience, if we can keep our core unshaken, a “samabhaava”, that is pure wisdom.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Why is it that when we have been doing the same drill for 20 years, like climbing the same steps we can actually climb almost blindfolded, that in the 21st year, we fall on the very same staircase ? You get hurt for sure: your ego takes a knock as well. How did you do something so silly? You should have been used to it by now.

Well, folks, maybe, it is all about losing your awareness at that time.

Haven’t we seen again and again that it’s all about awareness in everything, As opposed to the fact that you can never take anything or anyone for granted; constantly to be within your awareness, watching yourself and others? To understand how to respond based on the conditions before you. How best you can act in the moment.

It is so strange that responses from the same people can be different. And so, presuming can land you into troubled waters. That’s why most people just cultivate the art of treading water.

So, lose your awareness and pay for the consequences.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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If we are afraid of saying what we think is right or fair, we are definitely damaging ourselves in the long run. There is never any end to compromising after that. We have to move along in the same direction, against what we believe in. And we do this to prevent isolation.

Diplomacy, tact and words like that are not meant as compromising in any way. I think we haven’t checked our dictionaries in a long time. Subtle differences elude us. Even bigger ones do.

To be accepted, to be popular, what is the price tag? And to be upright and state your truth, albeit diplomatically, what is the price tag? It is a choice again.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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It is very logical that love has to be its own reward. Because many cannot recognize it and many do not know how to receive it. Many do not want it either because they don’t want the burden of having to return it. Believe it or not!

You know, you can’t give what you don’t have or don’t feel. Even if it is hard to accept, the fact is that each individual journey is a karmic one. If you have close previous karma, you will receive love from those souls. Need not be in the role of a family member from where it is naturally expected.

Once, an astrologer told a friend that the child she had miscarried was a soul who was out for karmic retribution. Subsequently, the same or similar soul was born to her. And she is constantly trying to heal herself and that soul. There was no escape.

So, karmic realities from other lives just have to be experienced and continuously healed. For, there is no blame anywhere. What goes around come around? If we don’t accept this, we can live a life of misery till our last day.

Of course, if all the people realize this, we can free ourselves from that karmic chain. But even if one person heals, that person can get free from karmic bondage.

To believe or not believe this, we need to analyze our relationships and bring in some wisdom thereafter, if our mission is to be happy. Otherwise, we continue with our inevitable cycle of cause and effect. Oscillating like a yoyo between misery and happiness based of the quality of the karmic fallout.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Getting disturbed by anything that we don’t like and is actually happening is human nature. But everything we react negatively to is not bad for us. In fact, some of it is good for us. For example, if you are in a painful, unhappy relationship and it breaks naturally, it is, in fact, a release.

Conscious thinking keeps us abreast of such happenings and gives us the correct perspective and enables us to take a dispassionate view of every thought and happening. Conscious thought leads to conscious behavior which is more balanced than behavior dictated by the ego and defiance.

So, we look at the eye of the storm and then use our wisdom to determine its outcome that is relevant in our lives. And we will find that when storms blow over, often there is relief and peace in our lives. Every storm doesn’t have to leave us devastated.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I have been discussing with my group about how marriages fall apart “suddenly” after 25 years and more. And I do believe that nothing happens suddenly. It is generally a long road fraught with many incompatibilities and underlying stress which is not spoken about by one or the other spouse to keep the peace in the house. One, big reason!

I think that under the obvious pattern of bitterness and blame lies a need for understanding why the distancing happens. We don’t even know when and how it starts; with a minor argument escalating into a minor war or small misunderstandings or a lack of friendship. Too much tendency to control; not enough respect? Trying to change each other; each trying to prevail over the other? Or simply not the marrying kind but forced to marry to please parents.

I feel a little disgusted when I hear parents telling their son to go ahead and be a man. In short, have a good time as long as you return to your wife. I asked one such mother, “suppose the woman you encouraged your son to philander with was YOUR daughter? The answer was so predictable. Aha! As long as it is not your daughter; doesn’t matter that the other girls are also someone’s daughters.

I know it is an old fashioned concept in the promiscuous society today. What I mean is, it is the moms who actually encourage their sons into these habits many a time.

But, coming back to breaking relationships, the now terribly obsolete theory of marriages surviving because of kids binding their parents together is more or less nonexistent.

Such sentiments have gone, never to return. Trying to put parents together is a counselor’s job. And going to a therapist is a social stigma, not to be spoken about. Many times, the husband doesn’t think HE needs it. Exactly like he doesn’t want to see a doctor when they only have daughters because it is always the woman’s fault that it is so yet; one more reason for a marriage in trouble.

And many of the reasons I have mentioned create a chain and relationships fray and fray and fray, until something just snaps one day. We call it “sudden” but is it really so sudden?

This is exactly like saying cancer happened overnight. No. It just showed up as a body manifestation overnight. It was building up for years like the lava of an active volcano.

Much introspection needed. Much conscious thought needed. Much maturity and intelligence needed.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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