Accepting and Expecting

We have to leave everyone to heal at their own time and of their own accord. It used to be possible at one time to heal through frank communication. And clearing the mind of any residue feelings of negativity. I guess, no more ! There is more possibility of making it worse by talking …

Two similar sounding but diametrically opposite words are two ends of the spectrum: Accepting and expecting.

The first assists in moving forward. The second can bog you down pretty badly because your well being lies with someone else or something else . And you lose that much control.

We live in a world of time, space and causation. Accepting means giving time and space and waiting for the causes to fade from memory. Then healing happens.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Celebration

For some , life is a celebration. For others, it is a burden to be dragged till its end. For some others, it is a present for personal evolution, for reflection and for healing.

In all of these conditions, what makes a difference is the passion and attitude with which we decide to live out our years. Of course, grace and forbearance are vital.

But when  you see little ones with eyes full of despair, how do you celebrate with a clean heart ? Which brings us down to , What then is celebration ?

I would say, making the life of others better , more bearable. Being there to wipe tears and bring smiles to as many faces as you can. That is real celebration of your life.

There aught to be little or zero tolerance for inter personal conflict and ego persistence. Life has a much bigger canvas. Only from higher spaces can you see this bigger picture. Broadening our horizons is a wonderful part of evolution. Failing to do so is a huge loss.

But each one of us has to realise this. For ourselves.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Kindness and Compassion

Many issues that we deal with during healing come from early conditioning.  Most parents bring up their children as they want to see them, not as they are. They are taught likes and dislikes very early. They are taught social distancing even before they are old enough to understand.

Instead of learning pure and innocent qualities from children , parents try to teach their children many lessons which are coloured by their own prejudices, likes and dislikes , even hatred.  Adults dump their own baggage on the children which is just criminal ! They are already handicapping their children emotionally and mentally.

This is the reason why parents also don’t care enough for their own parents. So much lip talk but no genuine caring or compassion ! It is one thing to lead your own life and another to give back what you received. But that is forgotten.

I see parents holding their children back from their grandparents because of their own , often very misunderstood, personal grouses. It is so unimaginable in an educated society where we are all meant to understand kindness and compassion which the have nots find to be a luxury because they are barely surviving.

But… those who live more than comfortably are known to be stuck with an egoistic mind which denies them any sound advice or bringing in the light of human principles to make that shift into humaneness.

The biggest lesson for us today is to accept this change from earlier times. And the biggest difficulty is also to suppress love for people who mete out ego based treatment to those who love them.

The heart needs a lot of healing , away from the negative ego. The ability to understand someone who loves  you within their own karmic challenges requires a lot of empathy and compassion . Only genuine love can accomplish a sound relationship. Otherwise, hurt and more hurt awaits around the corner to fracture relationships and fragment the wholesomeness of a person. Through constant blame !

As I have always said, we have the freedom of choice. Either to become simple and understand what life is and how it should be lived, or feel happy in distancing yourself from the ones that actually love you,

So much to learn and yet, so much unnecessary piling of daily baggage !

Humans rarely elevate to a higher vibration, almost validating the downgrading of humanity itself. We can see this in what the world is today… only due to the lowest form of human existence. Everywhere , complexes, hate and vengeful actions dot the skyline over this world, masked by capsules of sweet words which may be hiding many undesirable motives in the heart.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Compromise

I have realised that we aught not to ever compromise the lightness of our being. For anyone or anything.

We tend to become heavy whenever we deal with emotions , triggered by our love concern for others or even by our own experiences based on our perceptions of ourselves… which trigger our own reactions. At such times, it is important to step back immediately and examine the quality of those incoming thoughts.

Yes, we are mostly reacting. Not responding. A response is a thoughtfully created effect to a cause. This is what we need. We don’t need a trigger for our negativity to show . We should know that THAT does not come from a good place. It is in fact, an indication for which spaces we need to clean up within us.

Like, our constant need to be judgemental about others when we need that finger pointed towards ourselves. Clean ourselves to better our image in our own mirror. It’s a single point agenda.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Motivation

A huge realisation that this pandemic has forced into us is , just how much valuable time we have wasted and lost in pursuing just worldly pleasures, if I can call them pleasures in my mistaken sense of perception.
And I don’t mean for a moment that one must not enjoy life. It is just that our definition of enjoyment has become very meaningless and unspiritual. We find enjoyment in trivia, meaning that there is not much value prevalent in certain activities. Trivia that sometimes brings out the worst in us.
Can I learn to balance my day to include a balance of these ? It is commonplace to quote,” all work and no play….”. But that is not accurate in this case.
Seekers of higher truths are few and far between but if goodness can be brought in within the realm of spirituality, then that is definitely a start.
Next, we must define goodness. To me, it is defined by a single line: “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”. Eliminate double or multiple standards to embark on a rightful path first.
Think before you dole out anything but goodness, because this is what you also expect from others. So, you cannot superimpose your will on anyone.

But we do it all the time.. people think they are good but what they do has nothing to do with goodness… all kinds of reasons and excuses taint our intrinsic goodness. And the worst part is, we tend to justify our actions all the time.
I would definitely say that if we start with a little bit of self healing ( and there are innumerable techniques available) , we can start a process which will certainly benefit us. The intention is first. Next is motivation and then commitment.
So be it !

Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Obsessive energy

The traditional thought is that this world needs thinkers . True, but with a clause attached , that they should also be positive thinkers. Otherwise, I would be happy with seeing positive people rather than thinkers gone wrong.
Isnt it amazing that convictions wear the garb of brain washing ever so often ? Millions are being brainwashed by a few distorted minds harbouring unholy intentions but speak so convincingly of a case for destruction that thinkers themselves are swept away into misled convictions !
This is the most dangerous trend yet because the darkness of such obsessive energies can engulf the world and wipe all goodness and all virtue clean .
At what point does such a phase change ? And after how much devastation does good sense finally dawn ? And when do peace and tolerance finally prevail over self inflicted pain and turmoil within individuals that spreads like wild fire and envelops the masses ?
I wish someone knew !
Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Gratitude

Why do we go to a temple or a church ? There are no two replies to this. We make the effort to go because we feel good. We say there are beautiful vibrations of so many people having prayed there for years. The older the temple or church or any other religious place, the better !
We need to visit these houses of worship with the awareness that we are actually responding through the inner deity present with in us which connects to the deity present in a sanctum sanctorium. This gives a new expansion to prayer.
And yet, that awareness does not stay with us . The world draws you in the moment you leave the shrine. This is what we need to train our minds for. Make your day an extension of your prayers. We only have the present moment. So, we need to use every present moment to keep the divine in the forefront so that we are able to look at every person and situation in a positive light. To know that it comes for a purpose and to nudge us to move towards the divine presence within us.
I love this line, which comes from a quote by Melodie Beattie:
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

And I would add this thought — that without gratitude, you can turn any paradise into hell.
Without gratitude, every choice you ever made will always feel like the wrong choice.
Without gratitude, summers will always be too hot; winters will always be too cold.
The music will always be too loud, the movie will always suck, the teenagers will always be too rude.
Without gratitude, people who vote or worship differently from you will always be monsters in your eyes.
Without gratitude, you will always feel you were born into the wrong family.
Without gratitude, the waitress will always be too slow, and you will always get the worst seat on the bus. Without gratitude, every driver on the road except you is an idiot.
Without gratitude, life is A Misery.
The alchemy of all alchemies —is gratitude.
Even if we learn nothing else, we must learn how to say THANK YOU and Stay blessed forever
Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Spiritual path

The most difficult exercise on the spiritual path is being indifferent to people’s words and actions.
You can see their intention , to hurt, to throw barbs for various reasons , to insult , to put you down , to wound you in which ever way they can …. Quick reactions are so normal , though they should not be.
The other day, I was asking my almost eight year old grandson, “ do you become a donkey if someone says you are one?” He laughed sheepishly but he understood. These kids are very mature .
So, the long and short of it is, let all such speech and action fall off your energy body because internalising these meaningless negativities is just not desirable for the self.
So, when we speak of “Sama bhaav a”, or balance or neutrality, it also implies a certain indifference to these episodes and such people around you.
Please notice , I said AROUND you. Never let these get INSIDE of you . Buddha spoke of suffering. The body will be diseased, will die and bodily suffering therefore, is a reality.
But why would we suffer due to our own ignorance, our own choices to feel the negativities of others in OUR system?

We can flinch from just venomous words. We could also flinch from waves of envy and hate exuding from people. But , having been exhausted by such reactions, when the immunity enters us , we are able to look at , to observe that everything is powerless unless WE give it the power through our attention. Suddenly, we can smile at all of that and we find we are free !
Ignore with calmness , knowing that we are incapable of getting affected and rise in our vibrations to leave the space of such low vibrations.
Sounds like a eureka moment, doesn’t it ? But… far from it ! It takes a lot of courage and energy to leave that space because, in leaving that space, we leave many people behind as well.
Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Liberating Experience

The understanding of Vedanta is a liberating experience. It is a shocking revelation or a giant jolt for those who have never perceived reality this way, for people who see the world as an ultimate reality, where we live and die … and that’s it ! Nothing more , nothing less !
The basic understanding is severely lacking when we see ourselves as subject and the external world as the object. The moment we say “I”, we mean there is something else apart from “I”.
In Vedanta, we learn about the different states of being.Like, the waking state, the dream state , the deep sleep state . And we think all of these are us. Actually, not so !
There is a fourth state which is the awareness that we ARE the awareness in which all these three states are manifesting. We are merely watching provided we don’t get involved because what is real is only US as observers.
I am that which observes , that which is aligned with a collective consciousness which never dies … it’s merely like an ocean in which waves come and go. In the same way, episodes within the waking state and those within the dream states are not real.

We live our physical reality as in a dream and live our dreams like they are real , with all the emotions etc thrown in. Neither are true.
And the deep sleep is the state where all this happens to us , and we observe. Because, I am not one with that which I see. I am just the awareness that sees.
Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Comparisons

I am devoted to people who are simple, caring and nurturing. I am devoted to those who value humanity and are humane beyond pettiness, comparisons and egocentricities.
Perhaps, because I come from the old world where we could not dream of insulting or disobeying our elders. From a world that mothers and fathers would always lovingly counsel their adult children and the children basked in that kind of nurturing. It was selfless caring, plain and simple, with no agenda attached other than the well being of their children. I still smile affectionately from my phone when my mother tells me from the other end, what to do and how to behave. The inner child is happy and alive.
I come from a world where the parents were encouraging of education, but strict about wasting time and getting into frivolous activities … staying out of the home beyond certain hours was suspect.
Today, when there is a long period of lockdown, it is like old times . It feels normal. The amount of creative arts that we were taught through teachers coming home , today stands us in good stead , for there is just so much to do that there is no time to bemoan thelack of “party” times .. hours wasted over long brunches and dinners day after day !

Of course, we too had friends. But the home was where our heart was and friends were precious too, but only available to meet when there was free time from our activities.
Today, when I compare notes with my friends, they are on the same page ! Happy to curl up with a book or create new products but not at all clamouring to go out at the slightest excuse.
We saw that world and now , our children are seeing only this world. We have seen both and are so much richer for the experience of two worlds in one lifetime.
Surekha Kothari
http://www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com
surekhakothari.wordpress.com
Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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