Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

A 24 year old boy looking out from the window of a train shouted…

“Dad, look! the trees are running backwards!”

Dad smiled at a young couple sitting nearby who were looking at the childish behavior of the 24 year old with pity,

Suddenly, he exclaimed again…

“Dad, look! the clouds are running with us!”

The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…

“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”

The old man smiled and said…

“I did. We are just coming from the hospital. My son was blind from birth. He just got his eyes today.”

I am sure the young couple must have been extremely embarrassed at their hasty judgment. It has been said oft and again that we cannot judge a book by its cover. Actually, we need to understand that every single person on the planet has a story. Very often, we assume a lot about someone we have interacted with only briefly. I am constantly amazed at the kind of statements I hear from people about people. I can’t help thinking whether these judgmental people need to look at themselves first to find out why they need to judge people so superficially.


Wisdom dictates that we don’t judge people before we truly know them. The actual truth may be very far from our imagination. But even after that, can anyone know anyone completely? It is important to be aware that we have several dormant aspects within us which may be revealed under exceptional conditions and circumstances. How can we gauge what a person is going through or has gone through?


Superficial judgments have a very deep underlying meaning for those who judge. The people who are within our orbit act as triggers for our own introspection. The very fact that we have come to a conclusion about someone speaks of our own ineptitude and limitations we have to overcome. Once we do that, our perceptions about the same people will undergo a change.


It is a fact that whatever we don’t like about someone is something we see in ourselves and have to work on. In the story, the couple who was looking at the boy with pity was so limited in mind and so pompous in their advice to the boy’s father evidently needed to know that their perceptions needed more awareness and more compassion.


I want to end with the question: is it necessary to judge people at all? In the deep sub conscious, does that judgment reflect within us as something about ourselves that we are not prepared to admit to ourselves or something we don’t like within ourselves? Conversely, in our judgementalism, are we looking for “approved” company (through our judgment) because we feel good about ourselves just by being in that company and hiding from the person we actually are?

Surekha Kothari



Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

Read Full Post »

There is a famous “Indian Crab” story which I, as an Indian, am not proud of. The open container of Indian crabs pulling each other down is the story of not only the politicians but also of the modern society. Sometimes, even the thought that a land of such a spectacular spiritual heritage can demonstrate such decadence in the moral fibre on one side and on the other side, be a role model to the world in terms technology, arts, literature, fashion and spiritual “gurus”, is mind boggling and disturbing.

I can understand ambition and seeking success. I can also understand looking up to eminent people as role models and wanting to be where they are. On a slightly lower thought level, I can see why people might be envious of others when they don’t reach the goals they aspire for. But the understanding stops here. 

 The moment I think of who I am, this introspection mode automatically brings an awareness of my connectivity with people and nature, my karmic plan, the ethics of living, my fate and destiny and my responsibility to myself before others. I truly believe that if each one of us focused on all of these, we would not, in fact, COULD NOT be contributors of decadence in any major way. 

It is typical that the churning and the changing tide of time and events in India, being perceived largely as the dawn of an era of light after a dark period, should not be welcomed by a few self promoting, subversive forces who survive on personal gain at the cost of other people and the country. This state of affairs has prevailed in India for many years. Today, however, from the grass roots, we   hear  the agitated, dissatisfied and desperate voices of the masses, determined to fight for their right to a better life, a better future, a better governance. The tempestuous fever of the multitudes must necessarily mark the beginning of the return of India to its former spiritual glory of peace, prosperity, right to equality, respect for women, moral and ethical teaching for children, dignity of labour and most important, honesty, trust and safety as pillars of society.  

This might sound simplistic and too drastic a change from the current state of degeneration. But I am the eternal optimist. Life is divided into phases. What goes up has to come down. So, logically, if everything changes, this, too, shall pass. The assertiveness of people magnified by a responsible media are the harbingers of the good times to come. The growing intolerance for heinous acts of crime are evidence that this cannot go on and will not be allowed to go on anymore.  

The vibrations of this earth must be raised to a higher level by each one of us by setting examples of simple living and high thinking, thereby replacing the detrimental nature of the present self seeking, commercial, ego driven and greed inspired living. India is a land of an awesome spiritual heritage. It is that energy which has carried us through historical catastrophes again and again and yet, has saved us from complete destruction. Interwoven minutely into the Indian fabric, this energy, when activated, will, in one stroke, sweep away the misdeeds of a few and restore the earlier order of an ethical and peaceful society.


Surekha Kothari

Read Full Post »

There is a very subtle but clear difference in my mind between looking at a “problem” and an “issue”. The moment we are steeped in what we perceive as a “problem”, we somehow tend to get sucked into a vortex which not only depletes our energy levels but also clouds our intellect, only because we are involved too deeply.

An “issue”, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to loom so large in our minds that it engulfs us. It seems “manageable” and our mind does tend to give us solutions more often than otherwise.

The difference here is actually notional and totally depends on the levels of the modes of positivity verses negativity that exist within us at the time. The truth is, solutions lie within us at all times. Sometimes, we see them and sometimes we can’t see them. Many a time, we don’t WANT to see them. Our state of mind, perception, ego and intellect define our ability to emerge as successful solution givers.

I read a very apt quotation the other day. “The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give others”. To accomplish this state of mind, it is essential to be clinical although it can be difficult for many. The word “clinical” does not merely apply to the medical profession. Any issue or problem, if viewed clinically and dispassionately can be overcome successfully. We just need to remove it from our emotional body and put it in front of us to analyse and deal with it. The moment we succeed in removing it from our subtle body, we revert to our natural state of balance and clarity for decision making. To be a detached observer can bring forth amazing solutions, resulting in a satisfied and happy feeling.

So, the next time, you face a “problem”, know that you need to immediately ask yourself, “What advice would I give someone else who came to ask me about a solution for this “issue” that I am facing at the moment?”

However, this can be done only if we are in a state of awareness of what is happening within us with our thoughts, emotions, biases, ego states and whether we are more reactionary in our habits or more pro active? People who are pro active are naturally more aware individuals because they act from their higher selves.

Let us become aware of our higher self and learn to be in constant touch with it constantly. Believe me, life will be amazingly beautiful and happy.

Surekha Kothari

Read Full Post »


When we are born, we bring only that much energy from the spirit world which we need on the earth to fulfill our soul purpose. Naturally, therefore, without that extra energy, we are inclined to feel lonely or somewhat incomplete. The gap between these two energy levels are perhaps the reason we are born on this physical plane…to get back the balance energy , ironically, by “losing” our “I” identity which separates us from the unified – in – diversity universe..AND by understanding that each form of creation is integrated with another. Therefore, wisdom lies in transforming our “lonely” state of mind into perceiving it as “alone” time here on earth which can be used to regain the lost energy by living a life of harmony and flowing with the tide of time and events as an observer rather than an involved party ; to live as a boat on a river which can successfully navigate the river only if it stays afloat but will sink if there is a hole and water gets in. So must we swim the river of life without “sinking” into the depths of the “temporary” sojourn on the earth.

Read Full Post »

Do you get stuck with the same thought ? Are you able to change your thinking on issues which you have fixed views on ? Can you think differently from your family and friends ? Do you introspect on your belief system to see if you are on the right track ?

I am sure none of us can underplay the role of conditioning in our lives . It is the most subtle form of creating mindsets. And I say this because there is little awareness of what we build up inside us over a period of time. We believe our parents out of respect and adopt their thinking patterns. Peer pressure can fix our mind like nothing else can ! The need to belong is greater than the possible outcome of invoking anger,  sanctions and disapproval resulting from being an independent thinker and “daring” to be different.

Mindsets can be little or huge , though , in my book, each of these are to be examined under a microscope before their worth is proven. What is or SHOULD be unacceptable are those which have been ingrained within us from external sources. ..Some may be compatible and others may not be…I will explain.

Every human being is an individual soul,  a unique soul , here on its own journey, with its own “karmic” connections and the freedom of choices. We are here for the EXPERIENCE of being human beings and to learn the lessons we came to learn. Along our journey, we are aided by other souls in the form of family, friends and even those we call enemies. By the very fact that we journey alone under varied environments and situations, how can the  solutions for one be a solution for all ?

But, along the same journey, we do tend to ,  unwittingly and without realizing, pick up many beliefs of others which may hinder us in accomplishing our soul purpose. The simple argument against doing this is , “I am not anyone else.  So, I will have to live by my choices and not necessarily the ones which are recommended by others.”

So, to  become an accomplished ,  independent thinker, I may have to unlearn some of the learning  from my past young and immature days. I might have to resist the rigidities of others being foisted on me. Of course, I may be frowned upon if I try to deviate from old set patterns established over the years but I have to tolerate this if I want to carry on with my own journey and not get side-tracked into attaching myself onto someone else’s journey.

Why do I say this ? Haven’t you seen that with change and evolution, the truth and validity of beliefs and principles also change?  There are glaring examples everywhere. For example, look at the clothes women are wearing with great comfort today;  the older generations would have balked at the very thought ! In fact, with modernization comes a pattern of thinking and living unknown to man a few years earlier. This is what we call evolution from phase to phase.

What is noteworthy however, and the point I am trying to make is that, we are able to change our outer selves . But the MINDSETS seem to go on forever ! We are not interested in coming out of  the boxes we have sunk comfortably into. I don’t have a quarrel with mindsets if they become so after they are introspected on and found to be viable and conducive to our growth. Those then become beacons to follow.

My target is only those mindsets which have been adopted without  rational thinking and based on what OTHERS think about how you should think and behave. This line of thought  generally incorporates  many  prejudices. biases and such imbalances which warp the psyche . The resulting actions then would obviously be other – oriented , too and maybe, and not necessarily growth – oriented.

Whether it is religion, or family feuds, “family” patterns and mindsets, personal likes and dislikes, or fear of social sanction , wise people recommend a fair assessment and introspection of thoughts before forming opinions which , when confirmed again and again either by ourselves or by others as the gospel truth, tend to become mindsets. And we continue to live by them permanently, and ironically,  in a constantly changing world.

We can be like a flowing river which collects pebbles , sand , weeds etc. along the journey , but unwaveringly ,  makes new pathways to skirt the obstacles which block it , to reach the ocean and merge with it. Mindsets are the blocks and shifting perspectives to accommodate change are new pathways to reach and merge with Divinity.

Why would we settle for anything less ?

Read Full Post »