Posts Tagged ‘Therapy’

Audrey Hepburn, the beautiful star of Hollywood said, “Nothing is impossible. The word “impossible” itself says,” I’m possible”.

Just reading these words is so uplifting, so energizing. If we can actually internalize these words, we can achieve great heights. Believe me, I have been within the realm of the “impossible” many a time. It has been a lonely and disheartening place. But, when we see fragments around us, we forget that some of them are pieces of a jigsaw puzzle in our lives which needs to be completed. And then there are some fragments which we have to let go of, because they are only there for a while to facilitate our awareness and a deeper understanding of what we require to move ahead.

“Moving ahead” is the catch phrase which should determine our action. This will necessitate pulling out the “possible” from the box of the “impossible”. Motivated and energized people can do this more easily than those who believe in the “impossible”. By doing this, we are actually challenging ourselves and harnessing more energy from the Universe to fulfill our goals, our dreams.

Any lack of self esteem, self confidence or self worth can result in a feeling of inadequacy, leading to a sense of helplessness, diffidence and inability to move ahead. So, the list of items under the “impossible” heading keeps increasing as does the sense of depression and complexes. No one should allow themselves to sink into such a state at all because to emerge from this often becomes a Herculean effort. Instead, a daily cleansing can work wonders in dissipating this kind of negative buildup.

Why is that that we take so much time and effort to create an external personality which is appealing and popular? Are we depleting our inner world by doing this? Are we resorting to a pretentious identity which negates our intrinsic core? Is this what is depleting our core energy, the energy we were born with to lead our lives with the awareness of being connected to our spiritual source? Is it because we have a gnawing need to be assessed and appreciated by others and only then, feel good about ourselves? Is that why societies are filled with intolerance, hatred and crime perpetuated by the dark forces unleashed by people who feel unaccepted, discarded, wronged, victimized?

I think we all need to find answers to this current reality of our lives that seems impossible to alter or reverse. But, I started by suggesting that the impossible can be made possible. I maintain that anything is possible in this Universe. We need awareness, introspection, devise a plan of action and make a determined effort to achieve the set goals. The moot point to remember during the best and worst of times is that it is all up to ME. If I think I can, I WILL. If I think I can’t, I WON’T.

Surekha Kothari


Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Some people demonstrate a refreshing naivette by wanting everything good all the way through life. Wouldn’t we all want that? In fact, the truth is, much in life is a tradeoff. Everything has a price to pay, even the so called “goodness”. I would like to improvise a popular saying this way:  “I am responsible for what I say and do but I am not responsible for how you understand or interpret it.” Therein lies the catch!  However “good” the intention is, we don’t really have a control over the mind of others.

Every day, we set our goals for the day and act accordingly. But, is it so simple? We have to make choices all the time. And making choices means letting something go in favor of retaining that which is more important. Often , it also means letting people go out of your life as a trade off for, maybe, less conflict and stress, more peace, duty towards someone in particular, a gradual neutralization of emotion , guarding oneself from hurt and maybe many other reasons.

I have realized that in some cases, we move away naturally and there doesn’t seem to be a price to pay. Yet, there may be a twinge of regret while thinking of the phase of happiness which is now past and that might leave a residue of emotion which needs to be cleared. Along with this, there also needs to be a deeper understanding that for all of us, it is the karmic balance sheet that is at work. When an event in our life comes, has its impact , it is up to us to either let it go as a lesson learnt, or hold on to it pouring wasted energy of negative emotions like anger, sadness, a feeling of being cheated and so on.

Similarly, relationships take their toll on us when attachment becomes an obsession. The imbalance created as a result spirals towards a depletion of energy and consequently, we pay a price by ending the relationship.

I see people paying a huge price in maintaining friendships. Individuals forming “close” groups also become “closed” groups. The individual preferences of each among the group have to be sacrificed to an extent as a price of conforming to the unwritten rules of that group, even if they are not palatable to one or more people in the group. I have seen friends changing color and dropping friends when they choose to associate with the rich and the famous in the hope that a little bit of the stardust will come their way, never mind if it is only “dust”. They prefer the leftover dust from a star than the light of a sincere and loyal friend who apparently is of no value but may actually be a shining star in the relationship.

So, these tags are directly connected with the aspirations of people, their brand of self esteem, their modes of behavior and their attitudes towards people, events and life in general. These considerations determine their preferences and actions. Thus, we see tradeoffs between success and loyalty, fair play and foul play, personal gains and justice for all, etc.

Many get stuck within their own reactions, retaliations, playing the blame game and being judgmental. Moving forward is for those who can, with a clear perception and intellect, make the choices for their own evolution and growth. There is always a voice within that tells us where we need to go. But we have to pass through the events brought on by old “karma” to be decidedly and inevitably experienced in the “now”. The ignorance of “karma” and the lack of understanding that we are paying a price for what we have done earlier is like wearing a crown of thorns at the time. If we perceive these events as adversities coming our way and react to them, this would only build up a new negative body of “karma”.

All this changes when a deeper understanding dawns. This is when we are actually able to “see” why things happen, what they are supposed to do for us and what must be our attitude when we are experiencing them. As soon as this understanding dawns, we also understand where our choices could have been better and how we can better our choices in future on the basis of the new awareness and insights we have acquired.

As long as we have a free will, our choices make the existence of price tags inevitable. Maturity lies in paying the price willingly and with an understanding that we are doing this in the interest of ourselves and all around us. It boils down to the fact that we must make enlightened choices to eliminate the “price tag” perceptionbecause that is what price tags actually are – a perception.

Surekha Kothari


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Our ego driven insecurities have colored our vision so much that we have conveniently given narrow and perhaps negative connotation to words like “Hindutva”. This word is not merely a word but a philosophy, a way of life. Just as “guru” symbolizes the essence of the qualities of “gurutva”, “Hindutva” symbolizes the principles of life given to the people of India.

The divisive forces interpret “Hindutva” as an intolerant and fanatic religion of the Hindus. I beg to differ. While Hinduism is the religion followed by Hindus, the term “Hindutva” is inclusive of the entire “Hindustan” which we call India. There is a huge difference. “Hindustan” is the land of all Indians.

It is important to note that “Hindustan” should not be considered synonymous with Hindus. This is a basic interpretation which colors this unique country as a land of Hindus only, a complete fallacy.

“Hindutva” is the body of codes of conduct, a philosophy that citizens of Hindustan shall follow, a set of norms based solely on spirituality which is not religion oriented as has often been falsely indoctrinated in people . Intrinsically, it spells out that Indians should abide by its democratic nature of governance and regulation of society on the principle of secularism, based on rights to freedom, equality and education for all. It symbolizes secularism as the larger framework within which these shall be the right of every citizen. It respects the freedom of all the people irrespective of religious preferences, case and creed and their harmonious co existence while practicing their own individual belief systems, above all, while accepting those of others.

Now, anything which is distorted or taken advantage of for specific, “unholy” gains such as the communal divides or brain washing of people to deviate from their right beliefs to the ones inculcated with the carrot and stick policy by a few, are practices which need reforms.

Symbolizing my thoughts is a beautiful story I want to share. Peace, Wealth and Love came to the door of a poor couple and asked to be hosted. The condition was that they could choose only one of the three. The couple debated among themselves and decided to invite Love in because they could not live without love. When they stepped aside for Love to walk in, Peace and Wealth also started walking in. When the surprised couple asked why all three were walking in, Peace and Wealth said that they always accompanied Love wherever Love went. This is not only a story but a universal truth which is time tested and found to be completely true when practiced.

To conclude, no religion has advocated non acceptance, intolerance or destruction of any kind. Why then don’t we CHOOSE love, peace and harmony, so evidently the first choice for any sane person?

Love means compassion, tolerance and acceptance. This is also the base of “Hindutva “as I understand it on a deeper, spiritual level. I have often been cynically accused of being an “idealist”. I take this as a compliment. You see, I am not a cynic.

Surekha Kothari


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We all know the saying, “you can take the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink”. I have experienced this as a therapist and have been amazed at this phenomenon. Is it for real that human beings KNOW that they need healing but still persist in building up more reasons for healing through more negative actions. Why is this so? Let me create some awareness on this point.

The first reason is past life karma. If the person has come to experience karmic issues from another life, it is possible that triggers for change may not happen until the experience is completely over. Old karmas need to be lived out. Only with an awareness and acceptance of what IS will come the realization of what CAN BE. In such cases, an individual can make a conscious choice to heal the issue / s.

The second reason may be a conscious resistance to heal that could have occurred due to an energy attachment from the outside which may not want to heal and therefore, does not allow the individual to become aware or seek help. Very often, when we are vulnerable, the resulting weakness may cause our aura to be perforated or broken. At such times, external energies can walk into our aura, disturb it and alter our personality so much that we even start thinking and living like that energy did when it was alive. These may be deceased energies that don’t transit into the light. It could also be other unseen energies.

The third issue may be an inherent suspicion in the healing modalities and process which comes from a space of fear of the unknown and the insecurity of giving the control in the hands of a therapist. The pre condition for healing is intention, faith and consistency.

Another huge reason is living in denial. I have seen many people blocking people from their lives, avoiding places and living in a make believe world because they don’t want to come out of the box they have climbed into, the box that gives them a certain amount of comfort to enable them to live with themselves. Such clients, when they have been cajoled into seeking therapy have often sat before me in sullen silence, not communicating and mostly, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the floor. Needless to say, neither counseling nor therapy has been possible in such cases.

People who want to transform through healing sometimes, in their lack of understanding and knowledge, come to me thinking I have a magic wand which will make everything alright. I want to emphasize the role of taking personal responsibility for healing oneself. Every day, some amount of negative build up happens with most people. Our daily routine must necessarily incorporate cleansing practices like Chakra cleansing, Pranayama and meditation to keep our minds relatively clean and functioning with clarity and compassion.

I absolutely recommend trying to live from your heart and diminish the ego. The heart does not lie. Love and fear are the two main universal energies and it doesn’t take a genius to make a choice between the two.

Surekha Kothari

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“Whatever you hold in your mind will occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.”

The Mind is our best friend and our worst foe and this depends totally on how we use this fantastic tool.

In our present personality, shadows and voices from the past haunt us, mostly unconsciously. These fragments from long ago require healing and the negative files from the past which are still open require healing and closure. Once this is achieved and all such energy blocks removed, the personality can become radiant and ready for meaningful evolution.

Hypnotherapy is an effective modality within the alternate healing methods which works as an adjunct to the traditional forms of medicine, can cleanse and heal and also superimpose the negative files with positive ones, improving the mind and quality of life significantly.

Hypnosis is a special and altered state of the mind and consequently, of the body. Any mental, emotional or physical issue is required to be treated under a state of hypnosis, or, in other words, by accessing the sub conscious mind which is the storehouse of modern and primitive memory.

Each one of us is a sum total of our past lives and the present one. Some parts of these lives remain nonintegrated and unassimilated. Consequently, some such parts have a direct impact on our current personality. Therapy is required when the past troubles us.

Emotional causes culminate in emotional release and emotional peace through hypnotherapy. Similarly, if an intellectual catharsis happens, it results in a better understanding of the self, people and environment.

Hypnotherapy is a combination of hypnosis and therapeutic intervention. The therapist leads the client to positive change while the patient is deeply relaxed in a state of heightened suggestibility called trance. This is possible only when the client understands, accepts , and has faith in the therapy and is a willing participant in the process.

If each drop of water in the ocean contributes to making a difference, imagine how much you can contribute to making a difference in your life and this world! If you are seeking inspiration to contribute to this world, this is the right time to start.

Become aware, accept and act in the HERE AND NOW, knowing that you have FREE WILL and can DO anything and BE anyone you WANT to be.

BodyMindSoul Centre for Hypnotherapy was started by me recently to help people with cleansing, catharsis, healing and the purification of the mind.

Surekha Kothari

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