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Posts Tagged ‘People’


We seldom nurture our inner child. Since childhood, we are trained at the conscious mind level to share, to give, to do things for others. But never taught that it is equally important to love our inner child. Some children are also abused for their ways. These kids grow up to subdue or even kill their inner child because the signals they have received very early in life is that this inner child is non functional. That it is that part of the personality that is not required.

But this inner child is the core of love. A child is very loving and very spontaneous. Imagine, if this source is turned off, how this child would survive as an adult. On arid ground. Without water.

 I don’t think there is anything more detrimental than a lack of self love and the inability to get or feel that love from others. Love keeps the softness within us alive. Be sure that those who have a hardened exterior need love and frequent hugs more than others. Because they show a facade and suppress a lot. Just like those who love attention and a lot of limelight are deeply insecure.

There is no alternative but love, to love yourself, to care and have compassion for yourself first and then for others because they are fashioned in a similar way to you and have the same source of energy to draw from. And therefore, connected.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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Over the years, in my experiences as a healer, I have seen many facets of love in people which demonstrate an acute need and therefore, a lack of this valuable emotion. Love is a prime energy which connects everything in creation. But we see fear rule people much more than love, and it is a fact that love cannot survive where there is fear. The converse is also true. Love and fear cannot co exist. There is a deep contradiction in the minds of human beings where, on one side, they want love and on the other side, they tend to mutilate it with their expectations.

There is a category of people who aspire to be loved through serving others, hoping that this will find approval in the eyes of those they serve and some love may come their way. There is another category of people who want love badly but who will actually turn people away from themselves by pretending that they don’t need anyone in their lives. Such people are very vulnerable from within and need to be taken care of. A third category of people is the demanding kind. They want love in the form of attention and can become quite obsessive.

One has to examine the womb reality and often, past lives to identify the root cause of why people are this way. The truth is that the intrinsic quality of the soul is love and that it doesn’t have to come from external sources at all. The soul, by virtue of being a spark of the Divine Energy, is abundant in love which actually multiplies when given out. But humans don’t trust and therefore, doubt everything and everyone. The Universe protects us provided we are in sync with it and live by its laws.

Love is its own reward. We love because it is our nature to love, not as a condition that the love is returned to us. Unconditional love is connected to our inner fountain of happiness and joy: the joy of giving with love.

I see many controls happening in the name of love. There seem to be unwritten rules in a close knit group which curtail the freedom to love those outside the group. Or, even if some do, they are not willing to show it. In families, too, there are divisive forces arising out of insecurities which find their roots in the inability to understand the actual nature of love.

As a healer, I know that if love becomes a need or even an obsession, the energy of the seeker goes out to the giver and debilitates the one who needs it and asks for it, while the giver becomes stronger. The precondition of a healthy Heart Chakra is the ability to love while keeping our personal space intact. When we feel depleted of energy, we tend to look for it outside ourselves when we should actually be tapping it within ourselves and also retrieving it from those who we have given it away to. Unlike a vessel getting steadily empty as we use its contents, the more we share love as a Divine Energy without expecting a return, the more love seems to fill us. This is an eternal fountain for those who experience the feeling. It is a transformational experience which words cannot describe or achieve.

Our lives are so colored by our desires, ego, biases and negativities arising out of a deep seated ignorance and a lack of awareness that unless these are removed, we may not be able to experience the simplicity and beauty of life and will continue to live in dark zones.

Surekha Kothari          

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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I am constantly amazed at myself and the complete metamorphosis within myself. During my growing up years and much after, until a few years ago, I was such a romantic, such a sentimental person! Addicted to watching four movies a day during my holidays, I became an effective story teller to my cousins who would sit with rapt attention at my emotive narrations, with every expression and every nuance of the dialogue delivery by every actor imitated to perfection! After I was done with the romance, laughter, tears and anger of the film characters, my cousins felt they didn’t need to see the film at all! Today, I recognize that time in my life as a phase. It is difficult for me to sit through one movie today.

If I may use a generalization, youngsters go through pangs of love, separation, fulfillment, “stars in the eyes” phase, reading poetry moony- eyed and all of that and more. The rose colored spectacles stay on longer for some than others.

However, as we progress from this phase to the next, we should increase our vision to become more inclusive of other people, their trials and tribulations, their miseries and tragedies, and then, romantic notions will probably seem inadequate in terms of wholesome growth. There is a great sense of satisfaction and joy in reaching out beyond ourselves and an equally great sense of exhaustion and lack of purpose in living just for ourselves.

There is profound truth in the line from Urdu poetry, “aur bhi gham hain zamane mein mohabbat ke siva”, meaning that there are more tragedies in this world than romantic love”. It indicates that focusing on just this one aspect is being spiritually myopic and by inference, there are other forms of love that need activation, such as compassion and empathy.

Changes, both in thoughts and perspectives are inevitable and can be very meaningful if we can change our priorities and adapt to these changes successfully. It is called “moving with the times”. It is incredible then, that while some can see others changing, others are unable to see the change within themselves. Any shift in equation is upsetting for such people because either they haven’t learnt to move on or they are unable to handle their comfort levels being disturbed by the changes around them.

Moving forward also means “letting go” of past events while learning the lessons from it. So, logically speaking, those who “let go” are able to move forward faster and respond and adapt to change better.

None of us is today what we were yesterday and will not be tomorrow what we are today. Change is a subtle process that creeps up on us unless we see it happening with a microscopic sense of self awareness. The whole process of personal growth relies on a gradual build up of this very awareness which enables us to watch the process of change and make intelligent choices about the kind of change to accept or deny. The pre condition is that we need the wisdom of discernment to encounter change with a strainer in one hand and a balance in the other: to accept growth – oriented change and balance it with the existent principles, traditions and values we cherish.

Surekha Kothari

www.BodyMindSoulCentre.com

Blog: surekhakothari.wordpress.com

Speakingtree Blog: http://www.speakingtree.in/public/surekhakothari

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